Hello.....again.

Hi RA1990,

You do sound very motivated to stop gambling which is excellent. As well as refining what has worked well for you and what has not worked as well for you in the past you may wish to contact us on the Helpline 0808 8020 133 or Netline for some one-to-one advice. There is also the comparatively new Workbook with the Self-Help worksheets on the GamCare website that may have not been available the last time you were looking for support.

Best Wishes

Forum Admin

Thanks for your reply ALN.

I still carry a debit card, but I would say I'm no longer in total control of my finances. My bank account is checked every few days, and I've never really been big on actually going into a physical bookies (it's a good mile away to the nearest one) so I don't think carrying cash for me is much of an option.

The last two times I had remained in control of my finances and that clearly didn't work, so for me this was the main thing I have to change and I have.

Transparency is also very key I believe. We have sat down and gone through bank statements and totalled up how much has been lost to this additiction and it is shocking. It was horrible to do, but now there are no more secrets. I was feeling sick and loosing sleep over this loss, and although there was arguments and tears after I came clean it was a huge weight off my shoulders.

It now feels like a fresh start. We will make sure we both talk about it often. I will make sure I log on here regularly as well, and hopefully watch the gamble free days climb up.

I will beat this.

Cheers

RA

I appreciate all the advice and opinions ALN, I know you are not trying to force anything.

I must admit I haven't really looked into GA, and don't even know where the nearest one to me is. I don't like the idea of it. I'm not sure why. Maybe because of embarrassment, or the fact I think I can deal with this within my own house. That being said, it clearly didn't work before did it, so maybe something like GA is needed.

I will certainly give it some thought.

Cheers
RA

ALN wrote: Hi, If you're serious what further barriers have you put in place? I know you mention the banking app, does this mean you're still carrying cash, debit and credit cards? Gambling site bans etc. To manage the urges and to ensure you cannot do any further damage I'm a strong believer in that all debit and credit cards are given up and when handling cash (minimum number of

times) receipts are produced. In turn regular (monthly) credit searches are available to partners to ensure no further credit taken and existing debt is being reduced and not circumvented. In respect of recovery, something clearly isn't working, I'm told the definition of insanity is doing the same thing time and time again and expecting a different result. If not already tried, how about attending GA? Would also run alongside a daily diary on here, just gives further impetus in respect of your recovery. I'm assuming your partner knows everything, remember you can only build on a good foundation. All the best.

I totally agree Credit / Debit cards are the worst things to have. They allow you to gamble. savings account is thre best way you can have anything payed into into a savings account. This is the only type of account i have from now on much safer

ALN wrote: Hi, If you're serious what further barriers have you put in place? I know you mention the banking app, does this mean you're still carrying cash, debit and credit cards? Gambling site bans etc. To manage the urges and to ensure you cannot do any further damage I'm a strong believer in that all debit and credit cards are given up and when handling cash (minimum number of

times) receipts are produced. In turn regular (monthly) credit searches are available to partners to ensure no further credit taken and existing debt is being reduced and not circumvented. In respect of recovery, something clearly isn't working, I'm told the definition of insanity is doing the same thing time and time again and expecting a different result. If not already tried, how about attending GA? Would also run alongside a daily diary on here, just gives further impetus in respect of your recovery. I'm assuming your partner knows everything, remember you can only build on a good foundation. All the best.

I totally agree Credit / Debit cards are the worst things to have. They allow you to gamble. savings account is thre best way you can have anything payed into into a savings account. This is the only type of account i have from now on much safer

11 days today.

Still a long way to go, but taking 1 day at a time. First target is to hit one month gamble free.

I can do this.

RA

Best Wishes RA on your new journey which will bring happiness to all your loved ones.Every problem gambler wants to reach the top of Everest.In gambling term is winning back all the money you have lost with £xxxxxx on top so you can proudly say I beat my demons.My monthly wages are not going to get me to the top of Everest.It is 8 years since I had a 3 month winning streak.The rule of not borrowing money to gamble with is forgotten due to desperation.Anyway RA I hope you stay away from Everest and realise that life is for living.

A good week in terms of getting my denture fixed and keeping all appointments.Have been sleeping better and trying to keep everything in the day.Have not got enough oxygen to make an assault on Everest on Friday 30th November.Will contact Stepchange with all my details on Monday.I have no other options but to set up a DM Plan.I used to deal with the payday loan companies directly but I have not got the energy to face them hence the DMP.My credit rating is wrecked so my wages will have to get me through the month.

Just over 2 weeks GF.

I'm still thinking about different aspects of the addiction. Today I was thinking about just how much time and attention it takes from you.

My main issue was with tennis betting, particularly in play. When I think to what and how I used to bet it's crazy! I would log on and go straight to the in play tennis and pick a random match. 9/10 times I would have absolutely no idea who either player was. They could have been made up for all i know. I would then bet on who would win that match, or set without doing any research or even checking the pre match odds.

Then i sit there watching the little virtual tennis ball go back and forth on the screen until the score changes. If I was out, or I was with the wife I would constantly be getting my phone out to check the scores, making sure I could quickly open up a social media app if someone was to look over my shoulder.

It's not until you stop to think about it and actually write it down you realise how sad it is. I could have done so much better things with all that wasted time (and money obviously)

It's depressing, but it's these thoughts that need to push me to abstain.

I must remember that I can't win as I can't stop.

RA.

Hi RA your post sums up the madness of this addiction.You probably had a love of sports when you left school but gambling turns every sport into a slow roulette wheel.My madness was goals in football matches.I would use the live score app so that every time a goal went in my phone would beep.My mind did not care what was going on around me I was only focused on my phone.I was escaping from reality and putting myself through an emotional rollercoaster.If the goals came I would feel good but if they did not I then had to put my acting skills into practice.Your correct that winning just prolongs the length of time till you lose it all.

There is a match on tv about to start but I will not be watching as it brings back to many painful memories of Sunday afternoons desperate for goals.Am aware that I am too unwell to watch sports of any description as my losses are still so raw.Am feeling stronger by making this decision.

Good idea DG. If you feel in anyway that watching sport can cause a relapse then it's best to avoid it.
I watched parts of each game and it is crazy how many adverts there are for gambling. It's no suprise people hey hooked.
I'm a big football fan and although I bet mainly on tennis I did do quite a few over 1.5 goal accas. The amount of times I would get let down by 1 result was unreal. It wasn't uncommon for every game in a league to have over 1.5 goals apart from the one I bet on. I was hopeless. I do still try to think if I would have had a winning or loosing bet when I look at the scores.

I'm guessing this is something all gamblers must think.

RA

Agree RA that we look at the scores different from non gamblers.Its 7pm and for the first time since the Premier League was formed I do not know this afternoon results which I find liberating.Anyway tomorrow is Stepchange as I am not willing to use my debts as an excuse to gamble come Friday.I am no one special there are thousands of people in financial difficulties and I just have to set up a DM plan and let go.No problem gambler stops when he has available funds and I used Payday loans to feed the habit.Mental health and physical well being are my only goals now.

G is for Gamble A is for Away M is for Money B is for Before L is for Living and finally E is for Expensives.GAMBLE AWAY MONEY BEFORE LIVING EXPENSES.