hi everyone, the day finally came for me to look my girlfriend in the eyes and tell her about my addiction. I knew the day was coming as I couldn’t hide the fact where the money had gone, I couldn’t lie any more!
for the last 3 months I had gambled every singled day secretly, living every day with anxiety, depression, sleepless nights, not wanting to face the next day, having to make up lies to people about my money, borrowing from people, to hide it from my partner, lying to my partner about what I’ve earned from work, because I’d already lost it, it wasn’t until my business partner was concerned about the amount of money I was going through and the day came when I had to come clean and own up to my secret life of hell! It’s been heartbreaking this last week. I’ve lost £32k since the beginning of July. I have given all control of money now to my partner, no apply pay, I feel pathetic, that I can’t control my addiction, I have been gambling for 15 years (36 years old now) and I have not gambled for 7 days now, it’s difficult and I’m very bored and I’m hoping to find methods to help me through the journey I have ahead of me.Â
Thanks for taking the time to read.Â
Hey,
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Please, do not feel alone. I’m here to chat as an ex gambler who has lost thousands too. Cliche coming up, but…I promise there is a light at the end of the horrid/traumatic dark tunnel…🙏🏽
Hey AH10.
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First of all, congratulations on 7 days without gambling. That is a big milestone and you should be proud of yourself. The first week is always the toughest.
I sympathise and understand how you are probably feeling. I too hid my addiction from my wife for 7 years, constantly squandering my money, racking up debt through loans and credit cards before I got to the point where I could no longer hide it from her anymore. I had to come clean because we were trying to get a new mortgage deal and, because of my gambling and debt, we couldn't get one.
Giving control of your finances to your partner is a great step mate. I have done the same. It feels embarrassing. You feel like a kid again but, honestly, embrace it. It's a positive start to a long but positive journey. Make sure you self exclude yourself from everywhere using GAMCARE and install GAMBAN on to all your devices. I also highly recommend logging onto the chatroom every evening at 8pm. It's a really great place to get help and support from people like yourself without any judgement. Speak to someone from GAMCARE about getting some one to one help if you think that will benefit you. Also try and find and attend a local GA meeting.
I'm 113 days gamble free now and all of those things have helped me on my journey to recovery so far.
Good luck on this journey mate. There are plenty of people on here who can help you overcome this. Look on the forums at the recovery diaries, there are some superb ones there to help you.
Stay strong. 💪🏾
@g4pv3yauqm Hi Jay,
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Thanks for the reply mate, means a lot, and how I can relate to you when you say you feel like a child that we have handed over our finances, I said the exact same thing just yesterday. but I know its the only way.Â
And I will jump into the chatroom this evening at 8pm.
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113 days to me right now seems impossible being honest, so congratulations because i can only imagine what that has taken you to achieve, keep going. if you can get this far, then you can achieve anything.
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all the best!
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