Here for ongoing support

You need to get to GA and get support there, make it part of your life. I reemeber having a similar situratuon to yourself, I was alaways in denial, never admitting I had a problem or was a compulsive gambler. But the penny really dropped for me when one night I knew I needed money that I had gambled to pay some bills and pay day loans I had taken to cover my losses, l needed just over a grand in two days time and I would be covered, I won £1200 and was delighted, my partner would never know and I could continue on as normal for another month at least. I hit withdraw and went to bed. 2 hours later I reversed the withdrawal and lost it all in a few minutes. Not long after I had to come clean to my partner and sought help. Thats is a typical trait of a compulsive gambler, we simply cannot stop.

Hello Newyorksoul,

Welcome to the forum. You are not alone with this addiction. I understand that its a lot of money but you need to accept that it has gone. It sounds like you've seen gambling as an extra income source and had some big wins that have compounded this.

You might be single and living alone but its sounds like you have a potentially great network around you that can support you through this. Its not unusal for us gamblers to tell all our wins and hide the losses. Its another way of justifying our gambling to ourselves and others. The best thing you can do for yourself is to tell your family what has happened. Its not just about the money its about accepting that gambling is a problem for you. They can help support you through this. Once they know about it you can give them control of your finances to limit your access to money. They can check bank statements and more then that they can be there for you to talk to. Its stressful holding this all in. It really is a weight off your shoulders to get this out in the open. Don't be ashamed of this. Take the strength from getting yourself out of this and getting the help you need. GA and counselling are also options to STRONGLY consider. Its no understatement to say that getting out of this mess will be life changing.

You can do this but you'll need some help.

Keep posting and reading here.

Thank you both, i did reach out and tell one friend what had happened and she made me feel worse thats why i keep it to myself now 🙁 she asked me why i did it and said i was stupid, which just made me feel even worse. I just want to get better and move forward. The thing I really struggle with is accepting that massive loss. It makes me feel physically sick some days!!

Again this is another reason GA works so well as you will be surrounded by compulsive gamblers who understand the issue. The solution for us is really simple, we just have to stop gambling for good. To someone who is not a compulsive gambler it is really hard for them to get their head around how we can waste so much time, energy and money on this when the solution is so simple.

Unfortunatly we are compulsive gamblers, to simple stop takes huge effort as is virtually impossible to stop for good without a network of support and commitment to recovery. As the other poster has said, you need to forget your losses, draw a line in the sand and give the same time and effort to your recovery as you have done to your gambling.

Well done for coming on here . My story is virtually identical to yours . Read the posts , diaries and heed the advice . You can beat this

I was doing really well after my first post but then as soon as payday hit I thought i would just put on £50 to see if i could win anything, of course i lost it and proceeded to put on anther £100 but then i won and got upto £1250. I promised myself i would withdraw and leave it and i was convinced i would. Hours later you can guarantee it was all gone 🙁 this left me feeling sick for a few days and 2 days ago i got the urge and I recently had a £600 credit increase on a card so i maxed it out 🙁 i didnt win a penny the online slot ate every penny. Im absolutely gutted that i let this take over my life again and put me in such a rubbish position. I know people say not to look back and to draw a line but when you think about the fact i wouldve been debt free at the start of this year with the big win i had. It is just sickening. But i am on a debt management plan now but it does stress me out with around £18k hanging over me. I have wrote down a plan and i should be able to be debt free in 2 years, which seems like a long time but thats my own fault and i just have to accept it and not dwell on it. It does make you realise that for us compulsive gamblers there is no amount that we could win that would ever cure us, as its the adrenaline. How you can lose so much money at the click of a button really is scary. I guess i can forget about the holidays i was planning this year and unfortunately have a couple of years of scaping by 🙁 i have an iphone and i installed k9 after this horrible binge but it wasnt allowing me access to simple websites like dailymail or google images so iv had to get rid of it so i can use safari again. Also they could do with updatint it so it doesnt look so embarrassing if someone spots the icon! A dog with a police badge really?! Lol. I have installed the gamban app which works but you can just delete it so i cant see that doing too good when someone gets the urge! I literally dont have a penny to gamble at the moment anyway.

Well done for coming back . If you don’t stop now for good, I can guarantee you that your story will be a lot worse than it is now . You obviously want to stop but how committed are you ? You have to self exclude yourself from all of the sites and if you can hand control of your money to someone .If you had done that last time you would have saved yourself a lot of pain . It’s not too late now though

Hey new York soul,

Our stories are very similar

My win wasn't quite as big as yours but it was 4 grand which is a huge amount. I of course cancelled my pending withdrawal and put it all back on! I was gutted.. I got paid on Thursday ВЈ1,600 and if course in my head i was just gonna put ВЈ50 on and walk away but of course I went one step too far.. 8 hours later I had lost the lot!!! Every penny I had worked hard for had gone in a matter of hours and I was gutted! I have never felt so sick.. I had to confess to my partner as I needed help with my bills. She was surprisingly understanding and supportive but now she knows I know if I ever do this again my relationship is over! I'm just done now... I will NEVER win back what ive lost its as simple as that. I keep telling myself 'just 50 pound' but then I think ok and what happens if I win? I'll gamble it all and what happens if I lose? It's gone anyway. It really is a no win situation no matter how much you win it will all go back anyway... if you don't put a bet on then you won't lose a penny.. It's time to quit! Find that determination from somewhere... gambling is a no win situation you will never win...as for gam ban.. I sold my i phone I didn't want too but I knew I needed an android phone to get a gam ban code once it's installed you cannot physically delete it so if you get the urge it's tough because this cannot be deleted. The only apps it will not allow you to access is gambling sites and I recommend this to everyone. If you are that serious to put a block like this In place that works and cannot be removed then get a Samsung and get the app on there it cost £10 for the year. I really do wish you the best of luck with this.

Joe-90 wrote:

I hit withdraw and went to bed. 2 hours later I reversed the withdrawal and lost it all in a few minutes.

This is sadly a very familiar scenario to me

Every morning, log on here and read these stories in the NEW MEMNERS forum and the DIARY forum. It'll help fortify your mind not to gamble. One day at a time..