Hi all,
My name is Dan and i'm a compulsive gambler and have been in denial about this crippling illness for as long as I can remember. The days of a trip to the races or a fun weekend accumulator are long gone, since been replaced with a trance like addiction to online virtual sports and more recently online roulette. My finances are shot to pieces, relationships are strained, work life is beginning to suffer but above all i've lost a grip on what a 'normal' life without the thought or act of gambling feels like. I have accessed help in the past through GA meetings and 121 GamCare counselling but with an attitude of 'I don't need help, I can beat this alone' and the misguided belief that I enjoyed gambling and could make money from it so why would I give up, these turned out to be fruitless exercises. I now feel that for my own sanity, relationships and wellbeing that I am fast approaching the so called 'last chance saloon'. I don't want to lose everything and have to start over although some days, whilst in the robotic grip of spinning that roulette wheel the thought of this is so far away from my rational mind that self destruct seems like an inevitable consequence. I've come to these forums to share my experiences, listen to others in a similar situation and hopefully get help and suggestions from people on how to manage this illness. This is not something that will go away and it will be a part of me until the day I die. I am ready to accept this now but I do believe that with strong presence of mind and a good support network it is something that I will be able to live alongside, manage and resist.
Thanks for listening
Dan
Hi Dan
Im joe im a CG and very much mentally in the same place as you buddy , i do love a " harmless £20-£30 accy at weeked " but last maybe 2-3 years maybe a bit more FOTB in bookies and online casino have excelled my addiction into a horrible place where i prooved there is no control , the losses are devasting and have a ripple affect mental for day ,weeks after , bills fallen behind even though im earning well , possible lost my girl , still fighting and GA and councilling going to be commited to aswell as a complete self exclusion , trust is lost , its just horrid and i had enough before i enter the abyss
lets use this forum and this post to help each day by day as it has to be commited to now my friend
Hi Joe,
Good to hear from you mate. I find myself stuck in what seems to be a never ending cycle. Urges > Gamble > Big Loss > Regret and anger > Forget and then it all starts again. It might be weeks later, or it could be months but I always go back. The frustrating thing is I am now at the point where i know when the urges are coming but still don't have the strength of mind to resist them. The emotions in the days after a big loss don't seem to stick around. Why can't I say no? I guess this is the killer question for all CG's right? If you don't mind me asking, at what point are you in your recovery? How do you manage to resist these urges?
Start leaving your bank card at home, take out say £20-£30 and change it into £5 notes. If you need money then take £5 out in your wallet and see how long you can make it last before having to go get another £5er from the batch. If at the end of the week you have any money left over, stick it into a credit union account and watch your savings grow. Actually having some sort of savings is a great motivator too.
Also if you play online, get your bank to give you a different bank card with a different 3 digit code at the back and all the card info you've previously saved with all the other casinos online, will be obsolete. That temptation is removed from logging in, using your memorised 3 digit code (i.e. not even having to have your bank card in front of you) and depositing £xxx. If you have a new 3 digit number and card, it's another barrier that you probably need.
Stick K9 software on your computers to stop you playing online. I got my wife to put a passowrd on the K9 admin account so i've no temptation to bypass the controls and deposit. K9 blocks all gambling sites.
Good luck squire...you CAN do it!
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