Hi everyone
Not sure what I’m doing on this site or how it will help but just feeling terrible and like I need to tell someone…
I started gambling almost as soon as I turned 18. When I went to uni I suddenly had a lot of money at once, something that I’d never had before in my life. I started playing slots online and was ‘lucky’ a few times winning £1-2k a couple of times. But I could never stop myself from trying for more because I’d seen it ‘work’, doubling/tripling my money until it didn’t..
Every time I vowed to stop playing and tried various blocks etc but I’d always find a way round it.
I’d lose 1-2k and feel sick and not do it again for months at a time but I’d always go back to it, some times after a few months, sometimes after nearly a year.
Eventually GamStop came in (something that should have been available a lot sooner) and it cut most of my gambling out.
Then I discovered ‘non gam stop’ sites. Shady websites that nearly never let you win and give you hell if you do trying to withdraw anything. I’d cave and visit one of these sites every few months even though I knew the chances of winning anything were slim to none.
I estimate I’ve easily lost over 20k over the years if not more.
I’m in my early 30’s now and just went through a long period of not touching any sites, probably around a year, after losing a couple thousand on one of these shady sites.
Things had been going well for me, I have a decently paid job now and recently moved in with a partner who is very sensibly with money.
Then last night out of the blue an advert for a casino came on the TV and it got me itching again. I really think these adverts should not to be allowed and the relaxing of rules around them has probably led to a lot of misery but that’s another topic.
Anyway I ended up losing 3.5k which will have to come out of the small savings I had to try and buy a house.
Im devastated as always and feel sick with myself but there’s nothing that can be done now. I know it’s illogical, I know it’s stupid and I know I’ll never win in the long run and I don’t deserve sympathy and don’t want it.
I’m worried my partner will think less of me now and I don’t blame them. I want to have trust in the relationship but I won’t blame them if they never trust me now.
I guess I just wonder if anyone has had a similar story to mine and what worked best in the long run to stop? I have been strong but clearly I am not impervious.
 Thanks for reading
Now then mate, I’ve just read this and your story is a mirror image of mine - I gamble on football instead of slots though.Â
These ‘non gam stop’ sites are an absolute nightmare. I have been trying to close my account for 3 months but they never reply. I have lost 1,000s since.Â
Yesterday was the final straw for me and I want to knock gambling on the head for good.Â
Happy to help support you in your journey to quitting!!Â
Good luck.
Hey mate reading your story and Its exactly what happened to me. I used to gamble back in the day but I enjoyed it then. I lost about 1k signed up to GamStop and didn’t for a good few years. I recently just like you signed up to those shady websites, I did win a little bit and tried withdrawing but they make it so hard. But my biggest lost was last night. I won 6k from a website I tried withdrawing but I had to verify my account, I gave them everything they wanted but they still got back to me saying it wasn’t enough. This is where I messed up and I don’t know how to recover. Last night I made a lot of money in 2 hrs. Then 2 hours later I lost everything . I don’t know how it happened I just couldn’t stop gambling, I was doing big bonus buys and big spins. I was just watching the money go down and I couldn’t stop. I didn’t go work today and I don’t know how I’m going to recover. I feel empty, my head is so f@£ked up right now. I haven’t slept in 38 hours my head is throbbing I don’t know how to feel anymore.
anyways I hope you’re doing well!Â
there are a million stories just like yours on this forum alone , millions more around the worldÂ
comparing them doesn't really matter you need to focus on stopping which is a battle you must largely conquer aloneÂ
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I think comparing does help as it makes me realise I’m not some outlier & that people are in the same boat.Â
Once you know that, it makes it easier to open up and talk as you have common ground.Â
I disagree with doing it alone - I’ve tried and failed in the past!Â
Just Me, you need to go to bed. When i'm up all night gambling it's so hard to sleep the next night as i feel ill and my head is pounding.Â
Steve, i've not wrote anything on here for probably years, but i had to respond as i've done exactly the same. I looked for non gam stop casinos and they suck up money like a hoover. I played a slot and kept playing thinking it's gotta at least give me a bonus game. It eventually did and payed something so little it made me angry.Â
I stopped playing and asked for my account to be closed.Â
I have these relapses. i can go many months and maybe a year without it, then boom. I don't play for the money, i cant as i saved up more money not gambling than my biggest win ever.Â
It's just mental in my brain. Let's dust ourselves off, be nice to ourselves and say it was a blip, and move on back to the gamble free life that was a lot better than this.Â
The metal thing is as i write this a part of my brain still wants to find a site and play. I won't, i know what my brain is doing right now and i'm not feeding it and going to bed.
Thanks for your post, you've helped me. I thought i was the only one this was happening to.
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