How do I go on?

Hi and welcome to the forum.

The first thing i must say is if you are having any negative thoughts about ending it please please call The Samaratins.

You have come to the right place and your story may be unique to you but has a common theme with me and everyone else.on the forum.

I am not going to bombard you with advice but ask you give Gamcare a call in order to begin the focus on recovery.

ADMIN - please respond to this post as well

Best wishes

Don't be talking of ending things. After a loss or on days when bills are due things always seem worse. Open up to your girlfriend and she will probably be the most supportive person you could find. As for the bills, call those companies and explain the situation. However much they want our cash they are human and most do have a heart and will do their best to help where they can.

As for the gambling I think you know it has to stop which is the hard part, so my suggestion is get some photo's and self exclude from the arcades and other places you visit. Not being able to enter the places cuts down the opportunities.

With how low you're feeling at the moment may I also suggest giving The Samaritans a call on 116123 and have a chat with them.

Get through today and things WILL look brighter tomorrow

Hi balvaird, thanks for responding.

I actually have a councelling session this evening and I am hoping that I can use that time to get my head straight and think of a way out of my immediate issues, once these are sorted, I can think about a recovery plan, at the moment it all seems a bit much for me to cope with alone.

I think a lot of my bad thoughts are based around me not being able to talk about this to anyone and I am hoping that a combination of using this board and talking to the councellor will help me through that.

Thanks

Hi there I'm sorry your feeling so low. Please don't think your only answer is to end your life. This addiction has made you feel like this, the addiction is controlling your life at the moment. It can change. Please please take some time to read some posts on here there are people who have walked in your shoes and have felt the same as you and with help and support they have been able to change their lives around. Contact step change about your finances to see if they can help you, you sound like you need someone talk to today, try and pick the phone up and speak to gamcare. It is a big burden for you to carry on your own. You need help to sort a plan out, maybe if you can sort your loans out with step change and talk to a counsellor you will see things can get better. It is a difficult path but one worth taking. There is a live chat on here at 8-9pm every night where you can talk to other people, if you can try and come in tonight you will get alot of support from lovely people. Please take care. Wcid x

Hi bud it's great you have counselling tonight but if you need to call and talk to someone now give Gancare a call they are there to support.

You will get through this lots of us have been there and will walk you through the next steps

Take care and keep us upto date

KTF

Hi...sorry to hear you feel so low...please love understand you are not alone....we are all here for you...go grab a cuppa and take a moment to read through posts on here....stay in touch xx

Hi sam welcome to the forum.
Mate everything you have described has been lived by us all at some point. I no its hard and telling a loved one is difficult. But once it's over its like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. What ever you have done as a gambaler and no matter how low you feel it's never worth your life. In my time here I have spoken to many a people and I aswell was once like you and we have turned it around. I would like to suggest you go and burn those letters to your friends. And start a new one to your wife and tell her all you have done. And sit with her and let her read it. It's time to start getting your life back. And now is the time you start to fight. You can still make this right believe me. You can do it. And we will make sure you don't do it alone.
Deano

Hi Sam,

You’re very welcome to the Forum, and I must say a big thank you for sharing your story here.

I feel rather touched by your story, and it seems like fellow forum members also feel similarly, and I realised some of them have quickly responded favourably to your post , and have offered good advice and support from their experiences.

I will encourage you to contact our free phone Helpline without hesitation on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers for more help and support. We’re open every day from 8.00am till midnight, so do contact us in case you feel you're struggling (which seems to be the case at the moment). We are ever ready to listen to your anxieties and frustrations, and offer our help and support too. Please remember that problem shared, is problem halved, so it’s worth everything for opening up, and you can now share your concerns about your gambling problem here, and know you’ll have a listening ear too.

I’ll also like to echo what some of the forum members said here; that you contact Samaritans on: 08457 90 90 90, for help and additional support regarding your suicidal thoughts.

Step Change can also give you their expert advice on debt management. You can contact them on: 0800 138 1111. They can help you to consolidate all your debts into one, and pay some agreed minimum amount monthly, so you’ll have some money left to live on. With that kind of agreement, your creditors will then stop chasing you with letters for payment of their loans. Thus there’s light at the end of the tunnel, so don’t give up!

Importantly, let your wife know you’re serious about stopping gambling, and that Gamcare is supporting you through it, and that you also need her support to overcome your problematic gambling.

In case you’re also short of food, I suggest that you contact your local food bank for help.

I’m glad to learn you’re attending your counselling session at some point today, and hopefully, the counsellor will help you to make sense of what you’re going through, explore different areas of your life, and your difficulty in giving up gambling, and hopefully, find a way forward.

Thanks once again for contacting us, and please keep posting.

Best wishes,

Beatrice

Forum admin wrote:

Hi Sam,

You’re very welcome to the Forum, and I must say a big thank you for sharing your story here.

I feel rather touched by your story, and it seems like fellow forum members also feel similarly, and I realised some of them have quickly responded favourably to your post , and have offered good advice and support from their experiences.

I will encourage you to contact our free phone Helpline without hesitation on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers for more help and support. We’re open every day from 8.00am till midnight, so do contact us in case you feel you're struggling (which seems to be the case at the moment). We are ever ready to listen to your anxieties and frustrations, and offer our help and support too. Please remember that problem shared, is problem halved, so it’s worth everything for opening up, and you can now share your concerns about your gambling problem here, and know you’ll have a listening ear too.

I’ll also like to echo what some of the forum members said here; that you contact Samaritans on: 08457 90 90 90, for help and additional support regarding your suicidal thoughts.

Step Change can also give you their expert advice on debt management. You can contact them on: 0800 138 1111. They can help you to consolidate all your debts into one, and pay some agreed minimum amount monthly, so you’ll have some money left to live on. With that kind of agreement, your creditors will then stop chasing you with letters for payment of their loans. Thus there’s light at the end of the tunnel, so don’t give up!

Importantly, let your wife know you’re serious about stopping gambling, and that Gamcare is supporting you through it, and that you also need her support to overcome your problematic gambling.

In case you’re also short of food, I suggest that you contact your local food bank for help.

I’m glad to learn you’re attending your counselling session at some point today, and hopefully, the counsellor will help you to make sense of what you’re going through, explore different areas of your life, and your difficulty in giving up gambling, and hopefully, find a way forward.

Thanks once again for contacting us, and please keep posting.

Best wishes,

Beatrice

and if your gambling continues to get worse you always have the option of contacting Gamblers Anonymous?

Thanks everyone, I am sat at my desk at work trying not to cry, it feels great to finaly talk about this. I am seriously considering talking to my wife about this when I get home from councelling. Although I may well chicken out, this is the first time I have even even considered doing this, which is a big thing.

Thanks again, you dont know what your responses mean to me.

Sam

Well done sam. ...great to hear your in a better place already....like you I kept the secret for far to long...partners can surprise you....mine did....and it's been great...never in a million years did I expect him ...after the initial shock...to try so hard to understand my addiction....debts....well they will be sorted in time...take one day at a time my love....and remember to come here as often as you want....someone will always pop up and support you...take care...x

you can always talk on chat as well was feeling like you weekend just gone was close to ending it all but came on here for help and was so touched by the replys it gives me strenght allthough i did gamble today after 8 days but dont feel like i did weekend i set up a DMP though step change they are good and will go through your debts they write to all the companys you owe, best thing i did.

Take care for now and if things get bad like that again write on here someone will help i wish you all the very best x

Hiya Sami, I hope things have gone well with you tonight. it's great to see you are having counselling, and even if you have had a lapse, that's unfortunate but you have come here and clearly want to get help. So, pick yourself up and dust yourself down and join us on the road to recovery. Yes, it gets a bit tricky at times but we'll get there.

Please think about telling your wife as you already go to the arcades with her, she might have an idea and she will most definitely will have noticed other regulars in the arcade feed the machines to the max.

Take care my love, and keep posting as we are all concerned for you and wish you all the very best on your recovery xx

Hi,

Thanks everyone for the posts, again, bringing a tear to my eye (again), it is so nice to know I am not alone in this.

Councelling went well, it was stressful and tiring and I think I scared the councellor with just how negative I felt, but I am here, so the talking helped.

I got home last night and was going to start a conversation with my wife, but the first thing out of her mouth was how low she felt and had felt all day, so I decided that it was not a good time. She feels like this a lot, so there is never going to be an ideal time, but its something I am going to have to do.

I have arranged to go and see my dad tonight and I am going to tell him about the whole sorry mess. I know he wont be able to help me financially but I need someone to talk to, I will let you know how that goes. My dad is not a judgemental man but I think he will be dissapointed with me, as he should be, but I expect I will get his love and support.

I have decided to go to a gamblers anonymous meeting on Friday as well as having the councelling, it will involve me taking time off of work so I am going to talk about my issues with my manager when he is back from leave next week. I dont think, unless I get into legal trouble, that this will affect my job, but if I am ever to recover from this, its something I need his support on so I am going to do it anyway.

I am nervous about tonight but my dad wont let me leave until I have talked to him, so as long as I make it to his front door, I will have climbed a mountain today and I will take that as a positive.

Thanks

Sam