Hi i need your help. About 5 years ago gambling never seemed to be a probem i could go to casino win £20 and be happy. It was not until I went online and won £5000 from £25. After i thought i could always win big and lost that money i had won. from then on i had that thought to win back my losses which got me into credit card debt. My mum helped me out and i paid it back. A few years later i did it again my mum was checking my account but i had hidden ones same scenario i got into debt she helped me out. This time she told her partner and my brother who where understanding but a warning of if it happend again my parents where done. About 2 years has passed and i have been secretely betting i have hidden accounts and in debt again. i need help i want to tell my mum again but am afraid of the consequences. I know what i have done but its hard as the trust i built back i have just basically thrown back at her. Im scared that if i tell her everything the debt size the loans the credit cards it could permanantly destroy our relationship. i have been stupid and was doing so well. im a few months away from being promoted at work but feel like i could destroy everything today. I am meant to be going away on friday but have used my spending money to gamble to try win back losses. I dont know how to tell her and am looking for advice on how to start telling her what i have done for a 3rd time. The last week has been hard i cant sleep or eat as i so badly want to say something but when i think about what i have done in the last three months it makes me feel sick and i hold off from saying anything! Im not looking for a bail out agian i just want to get it out in the open. i have already tking precaution to stop and i am waiting for councilling help to get back to me.
Hi Bruce you just have to pick a calm moment and tell her. Stop lying, admit to the problem. The reason you've continued is probably because she bailed you out. You need to stop taking the money. You need support and to realise the debt is yours. Your poor mum needs to learn about addiction and that bailing you out is not the answer. This will never stop until you learn to change.
Thanks when she bails me out she has got a loan or credit card to pay my debts no physical money has been given to me i then have paid her back each month.
what also makes it harder is they will ask the question why did you do it again? i never have admitted but its always there in the back of my mind you think of times in the past when you betted before. I wont lie i got an enjoyment from it but look at me now. Its hard when you see it on every tv channel online most things are sposnored bybetting sites etc. im not using this as an excuse but i sometime wish that devil on my shoulder was not there. People probably say this but i wish i could go back and never have won that £5000! I need to find away to et rid of the devil!
Hi Bruce, I hate to say it but the fact that she's got debt in her name on your behalf is worse. It's your debt. I agree with the ads, I can't bear to watch them, I'm wife of cg. You just have to stop. Call gamcare, go to GA, hand over finances. Stop lying. Download blocking software, self exclude.
hey Bruce...
to answer your question - it doesn't matter how, just that you do.
by letter, text, facebook, phone, face to face, a note, email, instagram, airplane banner... just get it back out in the open
then you need to make it count, lots of steps you can take, albeit everyone's journey is different but once you get this out, there will be a lot for those around you to deal with, you on the other hand will probably have 2/3 days where you don't gamble but also where you feel better, this time is critical to start taking the steps you need
but well done for facing into it, now get those words out
use the professional help available to - it's there for a reason
best wishes
Hi bruce, i think you should have some counciling first so your mind is in a better place to speak with your mother, they will help you with how you can get it all out in a possitive manner
Hi Bruce 1989
Please get the words out as there is no shame in realising you have to be open and truthful.
I have been reading about this addiction for three years and it is essentially a drug addiction in the way it works. Humbly get the words out and you can start discussing it with people close.
For forty years I lied to and used people to cover for or fund my addiction. I realised it had to stop and a born again moment of honesty is crucial.
This has to be quickly backed up by what you really intend to do this time. You should be ready to give up the trust. What is the alternative...its secrets and that sinking swallow me up feeling that every compulsive gambler knows. Its not about treating you like a baby. You have an ill relationship with reality and an ill relationship with money fueled by a craving for chemical rushes
Its not easy but its about the love and respect for the people in your life. As hard as it is, they need to know and you need to tell them. You can build a pride again by making it highly important that you recover and pay your mum back.
Its a horrendous addiction more complex than you being silly stupid or greedy. They should come to understand that but you can not be bailed out this time.
You can face this in a born again moment. Whats important is you stop gambling and are ready for full blocks and monitoring the like of which you havent seen before.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
you need to give control of your cash to someone else, you are not in the right frame of mind to stay gamble free. as said, tell your mum, but don't take any bailouts, they won't help you.
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