I hope this is finally time.

Hi all.

I have not used this website since 2015 and I'm not sure if i posted then.

I am 32 years old and have been a gambling addict for many years. I can not remember what it feels like to not have serious debts. I gave gambled since I was around 16, it got much more serious in my early 20s when I was using every access to money I could find to gamble. Which brought on the debt.

I have maybe done 6 months off gambling in all the years since my early 20s.

Recently I have been so far deep into gambling I can not see a way out from my debts and the grip gambling has on me. 

I just want to stop and feel content with life.

I wish I didn't feel miserable without gambling. Almost like I'm missing out if I am not gambling. I wish I could enjoy other things than gambling. Im really forcing myself to not gamble today with it being christmas and really want to escape this. I just feel like I should be gambling as I have a chance to win, even just enough to cover my bills.

Long story short, I work really hard in my career. I gamble all the money I earn plus I am in debt to every family member I know plus all friends and every loan or credit card I could get hold of.

All above is unfortunately not exaggerated. I sometimes feel I am the only one in my position.

Thanks to anyone that reads this.