I love gambling

How do you plan to hide those losses indefinitely?

It's not going to happen. Your wife will find out. Telling her upfront puts you in control of how that happens and means you'll have to take action to stem this financial bleeding rather than relying on willpower and staying strong alone which even a quick read of this forum will show rarely works long term.

You say eventually you won't win. You're £50K in the hole and not winning right now. A CG can't win because they can't stop. No win is ever enough. The only long term winners are the bookies. No such thing as a poor bookie for a reason.

There are things you can do right now, today which will drastically reduce if not entirely eliminate your access to gambling. Make up your mind to do them before things spiral even more uncontrollably than they have. Leave your addiction unchecked and they will. My advice would be to start with coming clean to your wife and getting efficient blocks into place then looking at GA and counselling to identify where this destructive urge is rooted.

Hi mate

thanks for the post , im joe im 33 but like you love gambling far too much and has destroyed my soul and my bank account many of months but still coming back for me , you know its not all losing some nice wins , makes sport more exciting and its a curse of modern society as we all slave,s to work and money and when we in action winning or chasing we can,t control the urges and compulsives and can quickly get into a big hole , and the forum is right to say you need to fully commit to never betting to be on a postive road to recovery , i for one can,t do it the thought i never having bet i can,t seem to comprehend even though i lost thousands , risked my home by blowing all my rent money , young family welfare , savings , i earn enough to support my family and save a bit each money like ""NORMAL " ppl

cheers joe

You might love gambling but presumably you're starting to see that gambling doesn't love you.

Interesting choice of word, "love". Normally reserved for relationships with human beings? Gambling involves a relationship with the process of placing a bet. The problem is when you substitute a process for human love and interaction. It ends in disaster and misery all round.

You can turn your life round by making better choices. In the meantime, there's a thread in the debates section about telling your family. Worth a read.

CW

Its an interesting title Pwm101 which will spark discussion and debate.

however do you really "love it"?? Something which hurt you so badly. Thats a strange kind of love. I cant think of anything else which took my money so fast and left me drained and exhausted.

As you learn more about the addiction I think you will realise that its not love. I dont think it was ever real fun. Its a very complex addiction based on all the wrong things and a hole in our souls. Its based on greed, miserly behavior and ignoring the odds. Its based on escape from stress, sham drudgery and depression

It thrives on secrecy, chasing behavior and thinking its all going to come right next time. Thats why its one of the most dangerous addictions

You will learn that some people gamble for the lows as well to punish their low self esteem. Many people are gambling more for the escape and the trance it induces

Its a tax on the poor and all those things. It makes the bookies rich while people go home to empty food cupboards. It drains communities of money and it creates utter misery for many many people.

Pleases use the forum and contact gamcare. Lets see if you still feel it was love for a fun activity when youve seem more and settled into recovery

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Thank you all so much for your comments. It really means a lot to me that people would take time to even think about my problem so thank you . Your comments are all valid and have certainly given me a lot to think about I think the reality of what I'm trying to do (giving up) is starting to kick in. I have obviously hit on something with the 'love' aspect of gambling and you are all of course right it's not a 'real love' . However despite everything it's done to me I know I don't hate it . Which of course I know is ridiculous but I think that is what is helping me through a little . Knowing that I don't hate it but if I do it , it will destroy me . It's just what's working for me right now. One other thing to come out of your posts that really hit home is the greed. Joe - me and you dint need anything else like you say we've got a roof over our heads, job , kids wife ? We are pure and simple being greedy because society says we must have more more more your so right and that really helped so thank you. On a positive note I've done a week of non- gambling and I feel okay . Few wobbles but honestly okay. Best of luck to you all and thanks for your comments

In my view (as I always say) it's not just about the money - it is about mental health, relationship difficulties, lying etc. Of course we are all different but those were my experiences and if I was put on the spot and asked my view I would say that if you can gamble responsibly and enjoy it - great. I can't and I would also say if I was asked - I hate gambling and the misery it causes in no particular order the gambler, partners, family and even friends. I think it is a rubbish way to live if an individual is a hardcore CG but I believe everyone's route to recovery is different and I wish you all the best. Phil

As a DifferentPhil I would agree 100%. I know a lot of people who can enjoy a gamble, put a fiver in a fruit machine and walk away, put their loose change in a FOBT and cash out a win...I am not one of those people and, by the sounds of it, you're not too. As SP says though, whilst we all have something in common, everybody on here is different, has different weaknesses, different triggers and, ultimately, a different road to recovery.

Got a tough weekend coming up. FA Cup and normally I'd be gambling on every game excited about all the accumulators I could put on etc.... Should be okay . Will be interesting to watch a game normally and not care how many corners are going to be won ! Honestly sometimes my team would win but I'd be depressed because I had them to get over 9 corners ! How mental is that . Anyway I have other things to occupy my mind as my daughter turns two and is having a birthday party- weekends are tough thou. I'm beginning to realise it's the free time that is my problem (boredom- looking fir excitement etc...) I just need to fill it better. It's a learning curve. On a positive note 10 days gamble free today - seems minor reading other people's posts but it really has to be one day at a time for the mo. Much love to anyone else going through this . Your not alone . Let's get through the weekend together.

Can relate to alot of things in your post, sports betting, boredom betting etc, i am back on here after 2 years gamble free , let my guard down and am now on day 1 again. Well done on 10 days and as you say one day at a time.....

Chartom3 thanks for commenting. Sorry about your mishap but try and focus on the 2 years you did do instead. That to me right now seems amazing and is really impressive . Guess you just got to think right start again and aim for 2 years 1 day this time . Incidently I was just going through my emails and a website had sent me an email telling me a horse is running tomorrow (I must have forgot to block it ) all the feelings came rushing back 66-1 just think what blah blah blah - then I thought about this forum and I felt calmer and just deleted the email . I'll think about that horse now thou I know I will. Bloody typical . God it's so easy to get sucked back in. I won't thou . Going to be strong this weekend.

Right made it through the weekend but it wasn't easy -felt sad not being able to bet on the football - hey I know it's stupid but I have to be honest I felt sad . It's something I will have to learn to get used to . Can't help feeling a little low at the mo . Anyway I guess I'm not a newbie anymore and it will be 2 weeks gamble free on Tuesday that's the next milestone. I find it useful to set milestones . I'm going to start a diary as I feel the need to write and ramble quite regularly it helps. All the best . Oh and that horse - came in 8th ! And no I didn't bet on it 🙂

Hi Pwm101,

I've read your posts and IMO you are one of the many people I have seen come through the door in my GA meetings who "would like to stop gambling" but in their hearts aren't really ready to stop. (You mention the word LOVE, so the heart relates). Sounds harsh my friend and I hope I'm wrong. In late 2015 I said to my self I was going to stop and maybe I did for about a week but then I was back at it worse than ever, like making up for lost time. Within a month I hit rock bottom and that's when I realised I needed help to combat this addiction. Gambling had beat me.

Until you've come clean with the Mrs about the losses and your problem you will remain very vunerable to return. You've done well for two weeks but I can read you mind is still very active with gambling thoughts, this is normal but cut back watching sports when your mind set isn't right. I'm a family man, 3 young daughters and I know in the past 11 months not by only cutting back on watching live sport, I've become a better father and husband. I honestly don't know who I was or what I was to these three girls in the depth of my addiction, but I was their daddy so too young to know any difference.

I'm sorry if I sound negative, but I wish you all the best whichever path of recovery you take. We all have a common problem but our recoveries can be so different.

All the best.

Thanks Shep yeah you make very valid points I certainly am still vulnerable and my mind still thinks about gambling I have to be honest. I think by virtue of just not gambling I have cut back on watching sports - I used to know what was going on in almost every league in the world (I'm serious) so I defo feel better about that . I'm determined to prove you wrong in a nice way:-) appreciate what your saying . Thanks

Hi again.

Just read through your posts again PWM and I think you have to focus on what its done to you already. You really must have the cast iron blocks and telling your wife would bring her into the picture and make you realise whats important.

You do remain vunerable and as Shep says weve seen this before where the addiction is so strong and the advice measures arent really in place.

If youve been a compulsive gambler its not for you anymore. Some people can have a cup of tea and put a pound on but thats not us. I dont agree with gambling but it has to be about controlled betting with money you can chuck. Im my case that would have been a pound or two...however I was never in control on the worst form of gambling so I made it history.

Have you had financial advice? Ive been a credit controller and nobody can really struggle on owing everything they earn. Its a stressful situation which can only make you think gambling is a way out.

It isnt and gamblers dont know anything that non gamblers dont. You mention 66/1 but they set those odds for a reason. There are no life changing odds on certainties so its risk all the way. £50,000 worth of losing risk for you. I used to see this banter club in the bookies and its actually very disturbing.

I just see the reality on your first post and you need all the help available. I dont know about your relationship but must partners help and want their other half to succeed in being gamble free.

keep talking about it PWM. Nobody is having a go. We care about you. With proper blocks the days will rack up and you wont struggle to make it through a weekend. Yes you may have thoughts but you wont be able to gamble.

Your thought process need to change to a sense of relief that you are blocked from everywhere locally and online.

Best wishes