I have been using sports betting apps for around 4 years now. At first, it was fine, £5-10 pounds per week. Over time the stakes got progessively larger but never to an uncontrollable amount. Then about 1 year ago things changed. I had just got a loan for £7000 to pay of my credit card and overdraft, that my fiancee knew nothing about. Within a week of this I won £1000 from a £20 bet, using a new betting technique. Looking back now this was the bet that changed everything. From this I decided that betting as the way to pay of my debt quicker. So I started throwing larger sums of money at it, to varying degrees of success. However, I was never satisfied with a win. I would always place the winnings on another bet. This continued for the last year, betting upwards of £100 per week. And for every £100 I spent on betting I was spending £100 on my credit card living my normal life. Getiing deeper and deeper into debt. Always telling myself that I was one big win away from paying it all off. And most importantly, never really noticing that I had a problem.
I now have an additional £6500 debt, attained in the last 12 months and am unable to get any credit to deal with it. The only way I could deal with the debt was to come clean to my fiancee about my debt problems. At this stage I was still unaware, or perhaps just ignorant to the fact that I had a gambling problem. My fiancee being the amazing person that she is, instantly took out a loan to pay of all of my debts. She then looked through my bank statements and the truth began to unraval. At first I was in denial when she told me I had a gambling problem, but now I have looked at it myself, it is clear as day. I HAVE A PROBLEM! I NEED HELP!
Yesterday I deleted all of my betting apps and closed the accounts. That's the easy bit. I like to think I'm a strong character and will not do it again, but I can't risk losing the only thing important to me in the world, my fiancee, which is why I am here seeking advise and help with this problem.
Having read other post on these forums it's encouraging to see how many people beat the problem we share. Any words of advise or encouragement would go along way to helping me get to that place.
Day 1 - onward and upwards...
Dan.
The last thing we think of when gambling is the people who are meant to be closest to us because we become selfish and don't think about the repurcussions both financially and emotionally because we are void of it.There are pros and cons of telling them the truth because it can go either way in how they deal with it because believe me its a massive shock but if you are genuine in your recovery you have done the right thing in being open and honest with your fiance now what you must do is to stop gambling for ever.Start using all the tools and support available to you work along side her yes at times she may give you grief but you have to accept it because what you have to acknowledge is what you have done is 100 times worst its not going to be easy but it can get better .Ga meetings are helpful real people with real experience and they dont take no bs,speak to gamcare,and read the posts on the forums as much as you can it will give you an idea of the reality of your problem and hope full guide you back on to the right track she will slowly trust and repect you that you are doing something pro active and long as you both are on the same page thats a bonus it will be a roller coaster but remain positive and good luck.
Hi dspw
Well done for making a start, firstly letting someone you are very close to and secondly, removing all apps from your phone.
Things will most definitely become better once you get used to not gambling anymore.
Best of luck and stay strong. Lovely that you have the support of your fiancŠĀ©e too.
Our Lady.
Hi there.
This is a great place to come to with loads of tips and I'm currently on Day 16 after months and months of struggling to get past Day 3. I know you said you've closed accounts, have you considered blocking software? It means you won't be able to sign up to any new Casinos because it'll be blocked on your computer.
Also though, my MAIN saving grace was really chopping up my bank card. I got a cash card and just sliced up my debit card. So now I have to transfer money via standing order in advance (around 8 hours) and it cannot be used online. Most people who are new feel nervous at the idea of this, and so was I, but TRUST ME, the feeling you get of not physically being able to gamble is truly life changing.
Once you've made it impossible to gamble then you can start to work on a bit more of the deeper reasons so you could look at where you're most likely to get urges, and why and then work on ways to stop you being in those situations in the first place. Because ultimately you can't be living off a cash card for the rest of your life so it's really important to try and dig a little deeper and figure out what is going on. GamCare offers free counselling and support for stuff like this.
Hi Dan,
Great opening post. Some great strength in there with you openly facing up to your gambling problem. Your story sounds very much like mine. I gambled all online, all on credit card. There's no-way on this earth I'd have walked into a high street bookies and handed over hundreds of pounds for so many bookings in a football match. Yet in the comfort of my family home, I did many times over! Like yourself, I believe myself to be a strong character, strong minded etc. But gambling beat me, it was destroying my world around me. Who's knows if my strong character helped prevent things going past the point of no return? For the sake of my wife and my girls I had to come clean and own up to this addiction. No matter what person I am now, I know attending GA meetings helped me learn about the recovery process and provide me with the therapy I need. One year on I still attend once a week. It gives me the fix, the reality test I need but also keeps you aware of where this terrible addiction can take any one of us.
Good luck my friend. I hope you can update us soon on your recovery. All the best.
G’day Dan, good post mate, great work for recognizing the issue and coming here cobber,
You have recognized you have a fault in your personality, but that’s fine mate, that’s completely acceptable because we all do in one form or another. You don’t react well to winning, because you want more of the same straight away (which leads to losing), you don’t react well to losing, because is makes you desperate to regain what you have lost, which leads to losing. For you, gambling is a lose-lose scenario, and nothing you will ever do, or ever learn, will change that – accept it and move on with your life friend; you have done exactly the right thing, at exactly the right time – a step further may put you in a place where you have more regret than you can handle; are you going to regret the money you have lost? Probably, but remind yourself that it is a drop in the ocean, an absolute nothing compared to what you would lose over the coming months and years. In fact, that loss could be the best investment you ever make if you stop forever – imagine it happening at a time when you need every penny, imagine it happening when you have mouths to feed. You are ok at the moment, you have learned a painful life lesson – this wasn’t your fault, many people gamble responsibly, there was no way you could have ever known that the first bet you ever had would lead onto something like this.
But now you know mate, now you know that, for you, gambling is a lose-lose scenario, and nothing you will ever do, or will ever learn, will change that as I said above cobber. Tell yourself that, remind yourself why if you are ever tempted – all paths lead to a very dark place for you mate if you start in any way shape or form. Walk away with a smile; the vast, vast majority of people here have gone too far, we didn’t listen to the truth, we didn’t want to believe it – you have recognized it, brilliant, more power to you friend, now use that knowledge and channel your time and energy into positive things – gambling in any form for you will always be a destructive entity.
Great words and advice AussieMike. I have also taken positives from your post, thank you.
Great post from Aussiemike, reading that post has definitely put some sense into my head, as i am trying to stop gambling. Thank you
Thanks for all the positive feedback guys, especially you AussieMike, some good advice that really hit home with me. It's been 4 days now and I feel like I'm coping ok. To be honest I'm finding it strange not gambling. I am definitely missing the buzz, the checking of in-play odds and checking twitter for tips. But at the same time, now my gambling and my debt problems are no longer a secret, I can't help but feel some relief from the betting apps and the pressure of having to win. I do keep looking at football scores and thinking 'yeah I'd have bet on that outcome', but I'm not feeling the urges to bet that I thought I would be.
At this moment I have no money to bet with, so I know the real challenge will be after I've been paid. But I have another 10 days to stay on track and mentally prepare for that time.
In the mean time, I am going to download a gamblocker on my devices. Also I have found a local GA meeting that I plan to attend next week. And after the positive feedback here so far, I'm looking forward to meeting some people in a similar position to myself.
Thanks again guys, I didn't realise how much of a positive impact people's kind words and advice could have on me.
Stay strong,
Dan
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