hi im alex and i have been gambling for around 12 years. I first started with the odd footy bet and had a big win, chasing ever since. I met my wife when i was around 23 and i was betting alot more then and she obviously started to notice when i didnt think much to it. Then i lost our bill money and got into a dark depressing place and decided i need to stop and seek help. I went to GA meetings but dont think i was ready to stop i carried on in secret thinking i could manage the gambling, I was wrong i lost alot of money and nearly my to be wife. i stopped gambling again got married then had the biggest relapse in march 2016 taking out payday loans,phone contracts to sell phones etc getting into £8000 in debt. I went to gamcare and got alot more support than GA (didnt carry on with the support) and went over 17 months without a bet living happy with the arrival of my new daughter new house and enjoying my job.
Then i got here.. i took out a new account in september 2017 and have done about £2500-3000 in deposits not including wins up til sunday 3rd december 2017. I spent bill money and got into that dark place again where i felt like there was no way out, i had to tell my wife as I have let them both down.
I have spoke to gamcare and put my name down for one on one councilling, for the first time i have let my wife take full control of my finances and im determined and want to understand this addiction. im 29 years of age and have alot to live for this wont beat me.
I feel better everytime i speak about it and i know i will need the support for a long time but im ready.....
Hi and welcome to the forum.
You have done exactly the right thing by handing your finances over and you can now start to learn all about the addiction. It will aso need plenty of discussion and blocks on top of blocks. Its so serious that you will need to provide receipts and proof that you are not accessing loans or other income. Self exclusions are a must and there is no shame or embarrassment. Make it a day of pride and self exclude from everywhere you can think of locally and also with blocking software online. You can not be allowed on gadgets unless the blocking software is good and you dont know the password. Also you must not have access to the security codes on cards so you can set anything up
You will learn that it has to be treated with fear and respect that it deserves because its a deadly addiction that can come out of the blue. You will heal but have to realise we are wired in a certain way that it may always be within us.
Its an addiction that doesnt care if you have a lovely wife and daughter. Its not all your fault in that gambling is designed to be highly addictive. We tend to forget that the gambling industry make a good living from our money. The urges can so controlling that it leads to self destruction and takes all family members on the ride downwards.
You can make it history though by realising that there is no room for half measures or complacency. As your mind heals you will see clearly that its a mugs game and we were addicts that couldnt stop.
Get involved in the forum and a GA meeting again. It is like a born again moment when you are truly ready to recover. When you see gambling for what it is you will just associate it with pain and misery.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi Alex
I love your spirit and conviction and believe that both are crucial to overcoming this addiction. I call it an addiction because treating it as such helped me understand my problem and effectively conquer it. It is also the only explanation for my irrational actions and constant relapses of the past.
I am now over 4 years gamble free and continue to attend GA most weeks because I have made many friends through the fellowship and receive inspiration from the success stories of others as I hope they do from mine. Sadly, not all groups and advice are of the highest standard, but there are also some very good ones. If you are considering using GA as a support mechanism then I strongly recommend shopping around. Another alternative would be SMART Recovery who have a strong online presence as well as local meetings.
As you have already done 17 months you have shown that you have what it takes and the correct response to any relapse must be to learn from the experience and get back into battle.
I could give you lots of advice, but I will begin by encouraging you to research gambling addiction and the psychology of gambling and all other related topics.
Take care my friend.
Ken
Thank you for replying, I’m definitely willing to find out more into gambling and how it affects us, I have been banned from bookmakers in store and online for years but have always opened new accounts so will need some software for phone and laptop. Do you recommend any? Is it free ? Thanks
K9 is free and works on a laptop. I don't think it is compatible with android phones, however. You will also need someone to input a password for you. If you go to the 'get advice' section at the top of this page and then to 'what can I do', it should take you to a section on blocking software.
All the best
Ken
Nearly at the end of 8 days Bet free, feeling like I can’t settle adgitated, maybe because I was always looking on my phone gambling.the Positive is I haven’t had an urge to gamble not just because consequences but because I’m ready to stop this time around. The dark n down aftermath of my latest relapse has definitely scared me away from being in that place again. Here’s too the next week bet free
An update on my post. 91 days bet free, d**n it actually feels good. I have been going to Aquarius counselling every couple of weeks and doing little things to keep it fresh this time around, instead of pushing it away like last few relapses thinking I had it all under control. Holidays booked, debts being paid and a happy wife. Stay strong everyone
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