Thanks JMT
If he is not ready to stop that will shape your decision. Its not your fault but a gambling addiction drags everybody downwards. You need support to start acting to protect yourself. Proper support because you have a lot to act on.
I'm sorry but this is firstly about you now. You didn't cause this mess and you can't pay loans which are not yours
One by one these companies need contacting that you have not taken the loans out. The payments need to stop as they have no legal contract with you.....no signature.....no confirmation.....no contract!
Your money needs protecting so you need a new account if necessary snd all your income (you mention pensions etc) needs securing.
It won't all happen overnight but you need to start acting on it.Â
Borrowing in your name is fraud!! I'm not saying he is inherently bad but he is an addict and addicts are often desperate.
We are not relationship counsellors but you can not let this be a blind love and you can't be a shrinking violet about it......if you have to live apart you have to live apart.
He needs to bear responsibility for the mess he has caused. He should feel a sense of relief and surrender when truly ready to be born again
I don't think he is anywhere near ready so please protect yourself
Best wishes
I did the same initially, did not tell the kids about the addiction. But as time went on they clearly they knew there was something major going on. When i did tell them, they were so understanding, they seemed to *** the whole illness better than myself, i found it comforting and supportive knowing that they were not here to judge but only help the situation.
As much as your husband does not want them to know, it is part of his recovery. He has to face up and own up to what has happened.
Regarding the fraud, i still find it so difficult to comprehend how far and low these addicts will go. But ultimately they are not thinking of what they are doing but moreso of how can they get their fix. They will go to any means to get money to keep chasing their losses. It is baffling how the mind works.
Right now I would not even address your relationship status, it's going to be a rollercoaster of emotions.
Focus on your finances, keeping yourself and the family protected. Get whatever support you need. If your husband is open to it some therapy or GA.
@jmt65 Hi, just wanted to check in to see how you are and how things are going? X
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