Just joined and in desperate need of help!

Hi

Sorry to hear you're impacted by this.

In my own personal opinion it's important for him to put all the gambling blocks in place, these can be set up on GamStop, Sense, Moses, gamban. It's also useful to set up gambling blocks on his banking accounts. I've been in serious debt due to gambling however I always made excuses to justify more gambling to pay back all my debts. It's crucial he calls the gambling help line or gamcare to get some professional help and advice to how to deal with gambling and tackle the practical issues. 

Are you sure that he owes his boss £6000, it does seem a bit much? If your daughter did get the £6000 loan, make sure she doesn't transfer it into his account to pay his boss, as it could be gambled away within hours. Even if it is legitimate, the temptation could be too much to start gambling with some of it, then more.

Oh there’s so much that you probably want to hear as advice but the reality is I’m the same as above, I’m doubting the fact that he owes this money. If he has a gambling problem, he will do and say anything to keep it going. Writing letters that sound like he’s going to do something but then turning back up without any thought for how you or others might be feeling. Needing money for some random reason when he can’t even pay his rent. 
My advice is to question everything, make him prove whatever he says and don’t give him any money.

If he doesn’t want help, just help your daughter. When he’s at a point when there’s no more money and he has to deal with the responsibilities of his actions, then he might start wanting help.

You have to let him get to that point. If you continue to give he will continue to take until you have nothing left.

Chris.

@oranje01 thank you so much for this advice, daughter has now seen bank statements (horrific!) and she has made sure he has out blocks in place. He has called the helpline and is waiting for an adviser to call him back, daughter has done the same for herself as she needs help to deal with all the fallout.

thank you

@5qvl8kpo9n daughter has calmed down a bit and realised that a loan is not a quick fix, she wouldn’t get one anyway as she has no income in these last 2 months of her maternity leave. The debt to his boss is for materials he buys from the company for his private customer work.  The amount looks like he has been behind for a very long time.  He knows he has to talk to his boss, but dragging his feet because of his embarrassment. He knows he must do this to move forward. Best case - payment plan and his work contract continues, worst case - he has no job and they sue him for the money, I guess.  Won’t know til he tackles this one….

@chris-uk there IS no more money! Daughter has now seen bank statements and credit card bills, the actual debt is around £3,000. This will obviously increase over the months when payments can’t be made for bills.  Daughter told him to leave if he didn’t call helpline, show her evidence and come clean. He did call, and has shown her.  Is he still hiding anything? Not sure how we would know…..

@bru1w7lpn8 he can also go to a GA meeting anytime. He doesn’t need to wait for an appointment, just find his local one on the GA website and go there. He won’t be judged, just offered help by people who understand him.

Chris.