Hi, I’m not a gambler but my son has a gambling addiction. It has only just ‘come out’ but not to everyone just myself.
I’ve joined Gamcare not to tell him what to do, but for advice/help for myself.
Basically... where do we start, do all his close family need to know, how much can I help and in what way?
I’d really appreciate some help/advice from people who are in the same position as myself. I don’t want to say the wrong thing but I’m so worried for him.
many thanks
One thing from my personal experience is that you can never ever be ‘too’ supportive to Someone that is suffering with a gambling addiction, so emotional comferting from someone close to them is Amazing while in recovery. Also keep a very close eye on any mood changes body language changes etc as gamblers we are the best at hiding Our gambling habits, we as gamblers develop super skills in being secret about what we are doing. So if you can ask him if he can hand over bank apps etc just for a few weeks or whenever he can feel Comfortable enough that he doesn’t feel much of an urge to gamble, it sounds extreme but if you have that mindset of compulsive gambling then you will go to any length to gamble then regret it then repeat. Sometimes we need saving from ourselves
Hey - I'm 20 years old, so maybe this will help if your son is of similar age. If he has a serious problem, he will do everything he can not to tell you. So you may not know the severity of it yet. Ask him for his credit score, does he have existing loans, or borrowing any money. Get bank statements. Get blocks. You don't have to tell his close friends. He may need help controlling his finances until things get back on track. Set up a savings plan so he can save some money. I know this is a bit all over the place, hope it ends well.
I am the mom of a compulsive gambler.
The first thing I would do is find a Gam Anon group or other support for yourself. This is not an easy path you are on.
It all boils down to finding a way to be supportive without enabling... which for a mom is extremely difficult. As you know the desire and change must come from him so being able to let him face the consequences of his gambling can help.
You didn't cause it. You can't control it. You can't cure it.
Cathy
Hi Biddy,
Thanks for posting here on the forum, we hope you find it a helpful and supportive space.
You are welcome to call our helpline at any time between 8am and 12am- we offer support to loved ones of problem gambers, in addition to problem gamblers themselves. In case you hadn't called us already.
As @amom mentioned, gamanon.org is another great network of support for families affected by problem gambling. You are not alone.
Wishing you the very best,
Forum Admin
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