Lost everything

Hi 

I have recently been made homeless and lost everything due to gambling and looking for advice on how to get back up. Iv been gambling for around 2 years and total lost would be around 7-8k altogether. It’s made me a different person, aggressive, moody, depressed, anxious, secretive and my wife has had enough and kicked me out of the house n can’t see my children 3 weeks before xmas

i lost my job 3 weeks ago and slept in a cemetery on Thursday night. We have money problems in then house in around  30k of debt built up in her name due to my credit being poor. Her parents have been buying food n clothing kids while I have done this. I feel very ashamed and disgusting with myself 

she wants a divorce and to never see me again and not to see the children 

im devastated and thought about ending it last night 

Simon - do you have anyway of calling the support lines at the top of the page. Facing the consequence of our addictions is not easy, it is however very possible and you can fight your way through this.

The best thing I ever did was pick up the phone and ask for help.

best wishes to you

I called a helpline today n put me onto this forum for help n guidance. 

What Iv done is disgusting and shameful and disrespectful to all concerned. Iv hurt a lot of people but I always said I’d change n never did but I’m admitting everything Iv done as I’m at rock bottom 

Simon.

It is a horrible place you are at atm mate. But you need to be strong for yourself and your kids and you can only be that strength by picking yourself up from it. Firstly. If you feel like self-harm you need to call and talk to someone right away. This is the link you can find the phone nr on https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/self-harm/

Despite all the S*t storm you are in atm you need to know that there is always sun after rain even your storm. You can get back from it and become stronger and wiser from the experience but you can not do it alone you have to talk about this issue with people who can guide you back to normal life again. You will need to be persistent and not give up when it comes to getting new housing new job etc. Look at it like this you simply have to keep on moving now and the only way is up from here. It can be done and you can do it!

Best of luck in your recovery!

Thank you 

I’m just finding it very hard as I wasn’t even aloud to say goodbye. Xmas morning without seeing my family isn’t a thought I’d ever think I’d have to deal with. My daughter is 4 n son 18mths n she has been told Iv gone away for work 

not sure how anyone can do that but Iv made this mess n need to climb out 

Simon.

As this is Dots page. I would create my own new topic on the forum and it will be easier for others to communicate directly with you.

Hi Simon,

Have just read your thoughts on another thread. Thoughts are with you.

Gambling addiction sure does take everything

Getting a roof over your head and food, that's the priority.

The only way is up, keep doing positive things.

All the best

Hello Simon

I have moved your posts that were on Dot's thread and separated them out and put them here so they are altogether, I have also moved the responses to your post too, so things make more sense.

Please do call into our HelpLine again 0808 8020 133 again to see about other help and support and maybe a referral for free treatment (similar to counselling). Also our phone line and net lines are open 24/7 so please do reach out and call if you need to.

I am sorry to hear that you have felt like ending it, please call 999 or take yourself to A&E if you are having strong suicidal feelings, or call the Samaritans 116 123 to talk over your feelings and thoughts.

I understand that things feel very bleak at the moment, but there is free help and support available and you have made the first step by reaching out. Problem gambling can be overcome and people can get their lives back, so don't lose hope and do continue to reach out for support. Lastly, you may benefit from seeking out a support group eg Gamblers Anonymous https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

Wishing you all the best

Forum Admin

I have just done the same thing, sorry to hear bout the family situation because I haven’t got that side of things, but I have just lost everything and money that wasn’t even mine, dropped into 10,000 debt in one night pretty much, haven’t had a massive addiction but have binged gambled twice now and ruined everything and my whole life, I know how u feel when u say disgusted because it’s how I feel, I’m seeking help with these guys and they are helping, but I get the pain and darkness with you, it’s been a tough journey so far

Simon I am also going through what you are I recently lost my relationship well around 9 days ago. I had everything I could ever wish for a mortgage, mrs and 3 children only the daughter biologically mine but I see all 3 of them as my children as I've brought them up from babies. My ex hasn't stopped me from seeing them but I still cant come to terms that the relationship is over. I know how you feel simon, keep your head up THE ONLY WAY NOW IS UP. 11 years we where together. 

Just seen your post and thought I'd show you your not on your own and like me you have took the steps to seek help. I hope to hear from you soon buddy.

Stay safe and think about your children they do need you, you might not feel like that now, but they do !!

We was together for 6 years, all I can think about is theme her. Iv let her down time n time again n I had everything like you could wish for. 

I can’t honestly see a way forward without her in my life. Her ex fella was a gambler too n they lost their house from it n she was left with 15k of his debt cos he was gambling the mortgage, loans in her name so it’s probably all come back to haunt her. 

I feel so low I can’t even contact her as everything is blocked. Iv had her brother ringing giving me his thoughts (which is ok I deserve it) 

it changed me as a person with the secrets n lies n I’m not trying to excuse anything but I was trying to make things better ironically 

I am totally devastated 

I suppose I’m looking for someone to say she will have you back but it’s impossible to say n its killing me 

Dear Simon W

So sorry to hear you're in such a dark place. No one can say what exactly will happen in the future but try and hold on to the knowledge that you're not alone, that others are going through this with you and that others have gone through this in the past and come out the other side. 

Please do contact our HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 or chat to us on the NetLine for more support. You can also contact Samaritans on 116 123. Both are free to call and open 24 hours. 

Take care,

Forum Admin

I just want my wife and kids back n can’t think about anything else