Need to stop

Hello Willpower1991

Welcome to the forum.

Self-exclusion, downloading blocking software and handing over your finances are good barriers to put in place; allowing you to take stock of your situation without causing anymore financial hardship.

From there different things work for different people.

Hypnosis didn't work - the GamCare helpline, self-help books, support groups, religion, counselling, GA and CBT are all out there.

I think letting go of losses is often the hardest part. We lose more than money gambling.

At 24 you're young - stop now and you will have more opportunities in life and be in a position to make the most of them.

To erase gambling out of your life completely will be very difficult. I accept I'm always going to be addicted to gambling - I'm trying to deal with that.

Glint

Glint wrote: Hello Willpower1991 Welcome to the forum. Self-exclusion, downloading blocking software and handing over your finances are good barriers to put in place; allowing you to take stock of your situation without causing anymore financial hardship. From there different things work for different people. Hypnosis didn't work - the GamCare helpline, self-help books, support groups, religion, counselling, GA and CBT are all out there. I think letting go of losses is often the hardest part. We lose more than money gambling. At 24 you're young - stop now and you will have more opportunities in life and be in a position to make the most of them. To erase gambling out of your life completely will be very difficult. I accept I'm always going to be addicted to gambling - I'm trying to deal with that. Glint

Some good suggestions on this list! thanks Glint

Thank you glint for your comment I will look into some of the suggestions you have made.

You said you know your always going to be addicted, how are you dealing with that? I am interested to know.

Do you think it is possible to completely stop gambling? At the moment I can't see it happening for myself but like I said I would love to be free of gambling.

Sending you massive hugs.

You have to be ready to give up in my experience. I handed over my finances but still had enough control that I could have got away with a little but knew there was a chance of being found out and didn't want to hurt anyone else. So to start with I stopped for everyone else and as each day passed I wanted to do it more and more for myself. I am only 4 months clean but had the best Christmas in years and actually feel a tiny bit proud.

You have to want to give up- even If it's not for you at the start- hopefully it will be eventually.

I know I will never ever get myself into that situation again and I hope so much for you that you can work this out.

Firstly, I'm no expert. Five days ago I could be found in a bookies simultaneously betting on virtual horse races and FOBT machines with all the frenzy of a shark at feeding time.

I'm here trying to read and learn from others. Trying my best to help others along the way.

Trying.

That's the keyword at this stage. I wrote: "I'm always going to be addicted to gambling - I'm trying to deal with that."

Acceptance.

That's my first step.

Here's my take.

I'm not trying to overcome my addiction in five days. I'm not going to gamble today - that's enough for me. I'm only at the putting a barrier up - and taking stock of my situation like I wrote about - stage. For now I'm dealing with it by having my only card in my work locker. Locked away. I can't get to it. I can't gamble without it. My smartphone is staying at home, my card at work - they won't meet.

This takes willpower which is vital, I agree with Neveragain1 - you have to be ready.

I'm ready but willpower isn't enough alone for me, never has been. Gambling addiction is progressive, my dealing with it needs to be.

Five days, five months, five years - I don't know how long it will take to feel I've overcome this. I accept that honestly, I don't think I ever will.

I'm going to keep trying.

Each journey is different.

Whether it's possible to completely stop - I'd say yes; but think it might be dangerous to think you're ever completely cured.

I will add my feedback if I can...Can we ever stop gambling? Yes we can if we can put the barriers and figure out what makes us gamble in m the first place..can we ever think that we are cured? Absolutely not..but what we can do is always be on guard that it can happen again..I went 5 years thinking that I had total control..thenjoy bang 5 years after thst I am still trying get to understand why I keep relapsing again and again...with it I keep dragging my life down...but no more I finally have cut my loses have proper barriers in place for me not to gamble...only you know what the best barriers are..if you don't put them in place you will be back if not in a week, month or even years but you will...always be on your guard but at the same time enjoy gamble free life...life is better that way believe me..good luck with everything

Thank you for your comments it is nice to get different peoples opinions on the matter and to be honest I feel like this is a good step towards beating this addiction- actually talking to people who understand what I am going through. My family have helped me many times, getting me out of the mess I have put myself in but they will never understand why I do it. They always say just stop, and I wish it was that easy but it's not. So it is nice to listen to other people's stories and understand I am not alone.

Neveragain well done, 4 months is an amazing achievement and hopefully you can continue your progress. I think the most important challenge for me is to try and forget about my losses and accept they are gone, however these past experiences seem to always be in the back of my mind, making me hope I get that one big win to recoup all of it.

I had a little 5 pound bet on the football today, is it better to go completely cold turkey or slowly stop? Any suggestions?

Hi Willpower , I don't think Compulsive gamblers should gamble at all , if we could control it we wouldn't be here .

Iv'e tried cutting down , taking a break , reducing stakes and just betting on one type of sport , all of which resulted in going back to uncontrolable gambling , so I know that for me to stop completely is the only way .

If you read some of the diarys on here of some that have tried this approach they all seem to end in failure, there's a saying in GA that say's " If you hang around a barbers shop long enough , your gonna get a hair cut " .

Why the £5 footy bet , is it gonna change your life or just keep you gambling ?.

If you need that bet , then I don't think youv'e let go of the losses because your still chasing the dream of a big win to cancel them out !.

Thats just my opinion buddy and no offence taken if you don't agree , it's good to debate things , there's no right or wrong way through recovery , just what works for you !,

Another good question Willpower1991.

Alan has kindly answered very well, I can't add much but while the feedback is appreciated I'll try to add something.

In your first post you state that things have been getting worse and worse. That's the progressive nature of gambling addiction: it's very difficult to control.

I've also tried cutting down with no success.

Letting go of losses seems to be a common theme. I've not read much on dealing with this.

I suppose it has to come from within.

I don't trust myself with money, I have to be honest with myself.

Being completely honest is the only way to find what will work best for you.

I'm trying to not focus on my losses but on not adding to them. Easier said than done - I can't say I'm there yet. Not even close, but I can say that I won't be adding to my losses today.

This is a work in progress.

hi all..

i'm new member here.

i'm from indonesia. i've been playing online gambling since 2009 until now 2016.

i remember first time when i have arround USD 1k, then i am thinking how to earning money, i already wanted to buy a gold thinking that gold price value will raising all the time, then when i try surfing internet, i found this gambling website, at that time i just register and fill my name and number, at night i got call from this website and greet me welcome.

i just did not realize that i already chose a wrong decision for the sake of my life. i've lost my money, my time, my work, my partner. i've made my family down for several times because of my debt. my mom cried. its so sad when i thinking about it over and over again.

now the new one again hit me. i just lose USD 3k in just few days. the most terrible thing is this money is my company money. again my mom cried when i saying this. she said "why are you so different, look at your other friends, they now seeking a house to buy, they plan a vacation, they plan a marry, but how about you? you are not a 8 years kid anymore, you are now 28, when i at your age i have you. but how about you?"

i want to fix this no matter how the way it is. please send an angel to pass through this nightmare.

Regards,

Jon21

hi jon im joe

really sorry to hear your plight , like you i am a compulsive gambler and although i have a home , gf and baby and a job i regulary fall victim to the roulette devil and start chasing and i lost all my november wage packet well most of it luckily bills just about got paid but still behind , had to pawn in my i phone , almost lost my girl and my home , it can hurt u so bad if u let it , i tryed to calm down 2016 , new year new approch and u need to , im 32 and was gambling a lot at 28 and think icould i have thousands saved but as gamblers when we have a lot of money we want that buzz that greed that free money and the next 4 years of your life could fly by and ur mum right , most ppl don,t live like us there plenty thst do just check this forum out , so many heart felt stories some 100k loss some ~£500 loss but what ever the money ithe numbness hurts so much after so we got to THINK before we act, block all your online accounts and ur compuuter and get ur mum to set passwords so you cant access , block ur phone from all gaming , as i don,t think indonesia has book makers liek england , do u live near a casino?

keep chatting mate im on most days , still gambling but fighting

joe

Hello Jon21

Welcome to the forum.

You're not alone.

I'm in a similar situation: money, time, work, partner - I've lost all that over the years and the rest but still didn't stop gambling. My only concern was getting by to fund my next bet.

Your mother's frustration is understandable. She wants what's best for you - gambling addiction isn't easy to understand. I'm trying and I'm a gambling addict myself.

You need to put barriers up to allow yourself time to take stock of your situation without causing anymore financial hardship. Blocking software, self-exclusion from sites and handing over finances are all good.

I have no money available to me. I can only access it with my card which is locked away from me in my work locker. It's not ideal but I can't gamble today. That's how it's got to be.

People deal with their gambling addiction long-term in a number of ways: therapies, support groups, counselling, religion. There's no right or wrong way. Learn from others. Research what's available to you.

If you wanted to start your own thread here, if you click on ' New members intros forum', scroll down to the bottom and click on the 'new topic' rectangle you can do that (it isn't very clear). You might find it useful or you could start a diary here in the diary section.

Stop now and things will improve. It might take a while, it won't be easy but plenty of people have turned their life around later in life than their twenties.

You can too.

And that's the truth.

Glint

I've only gone and done it again. Lost everything, left myself with nothing. Half way through my last year of university and my stupidity and this addiction have got the better of me. I have nobody to blame but myself, I just can't help but go back. I feel like there is no hope anymore.

No hope?

24 years old, supportive family and in your last year of university.

At your age I had no family, no home and no education.

It's estimated that almost half the world is living in conditions without access to clean water.

Let me tell you: you have hope.

What have you done to try to stop?

Like university: you have to be willing to learn and put the hard work in.

It's okay not to have all the answers straight away.

Keep working at it.