New here and hoping

Hi

I have been in recovery over 50 years now.

You will heal in your recovery if you do the work in it.

The addictions and obsessions were a form of self abuse and  living in pain and fears.

The like minded people in recovery will help you helpyour self become a much healthier person.

Today I do not want or need to gamble.

Recovery helps you live a much healthier life.

Dave L

Well, I haven't been in recovery 50 years, but 34 years is a long time.

And I say "in recovery" loosely. I started in recovery 12/12/90 but it hasn't been straight up like I had wished. It was up and down, back and forth. It depended on my willingness which ebbed and flowed over time. If I could offer a piece of advice, it would be "keep coming back". What I mean is at first, I thought it was about stopping gambling and of course if your house is on fire, you must first extinguish the fire. Stopping gambling for me was a process not an event. My first attempt lasted 9yrs and 9mos and then I had a one-day "slip". Then another run of 6 years. Anyway, in my experience this seems to be the normal rather than the exception. I do know of individuals who have stopped gambling since their first meeting. However, if you do have a so called slip you can continue to try, it's like learning how to ride a bike - sometimes you fall down a few times before "mastering it".

And then there is the money problem. If you can stop gambling, the money will straighten out eventually. It's like you have this gaping hole in your boat. Once you plug that hole by stopping, the worst is over. Sure you might have to bail out the aftereffects but it's doable.

The last part is the hardest. We gambled initially for a reason. Perhaps it was to escape some emotional situation. Perhaps we were bored. Whatever our motivation, the gambling worked for us. Some people go so far as to say "if gambling doesn't do something FOR you, then it won't do something TO you". That explains why only a small percentage of people who start gambling ever develop this obsession. So, after you stop gambling for a time and after the finances get better, we have to look at alternatives to gambling. Is there something we can do to address our legitimate needs which is less self-destructive? For me, it has been to continue going to meetings. to try to help the newcomer by sharing my experience, to get regular exercise and rest/sleep, seeking some counselling for my mental health. That type of positive action/coping with life.

I hope that helps. We like to tell the newcomer everything is going to be okay. It may take longer than you expect or want but believe me things will get a lot better if you "keep coming back". There is hope!