Hi everyone,
I very recently found out that my boyfriend has a gambling addiction (by finding out that he’s been taking out payday loans). From what he’s said, this has been going on for a number of years and he’s in about £8k worth of debt. Though the loans and debt have accrued mostly in the last few months.
When I found out about the loans, he came clean there and then and vowed never to do this again. We sat and talked it through. He registered for Gamstop so is blocked from all online gambling sites (he was mainly betting on sports), has downloaded gamban software on both his phone and pc to block any adverts and websites. He’s also agreed to show me his bank statements monthly and so far has produced receipts for anything he has bought recently. We cut up his credit cards and cleared the high interest loans with savings. We have made a financial plan to get him out of credit card debt by the end of the year and I will manage all finances and see his bank statements monthly for the rest of his life. He’s been more productive in the last two days than he has in a year (gone to the gym, helped around the house etc) and he has never committed any crimes to gamble and has never stolen money from me or any of my possessions to sell. He’s been living this nightmare totally on his own.
I’m doing my best to support him but even though he’s been so honest and receptive to help, has put barriers in place to stop this happening again and I’m going to be in control going forward, I’m still struggling to cope with the feeling that all this will be undone in the future. Do you think we are doing enough to make sure he fully recovers? It’s probably an impossible question to answer but just looking for some opinions.
Thanks,
K
Hi K,
It sounds like very positive steps in the right direction. I strongly suggest going to GA meetigns too, dealing with addiciton, it's just about putting it down and barring access to it. There could very well be a rollercoaster of emotions to come, and talking about thoughts, emotions about general life as well as about gambling helps to deal with the emotions and creates greater internal barriers to stay stopped.
Wishing you both well
GamRecovery
Hi K - I am a compulsive gambler and I went for many years hiding and getting deeper and deeper into the more - until the bubble burst and it all came out! I was ashamed, embarrassed to talk to my partner and when it all came out I was so relieved that I could talk to someone about the issue and feelings. You are doing the right thing taking over control of the finances, blocking software etc. I would suggest that going and self exclusion from bookies and casinos as this is another barrier! Keep control and good luck
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