New, Need to stop!

Hi J

I am not a gambler but a gambler's parent. Just here to hopefully offer you a bit of moral support. First of all, you should be proud of yourself for taking this step and coming on here. The trouble with the gambling bug is that it can destroy your self esteem so let this be the first step to you building yourself up again. Secondly, try and count today as day 1 of being gfree and plan a target of many more gfree days and tick them off as you go. It is good to have something to aim for. Maybe try and get someone close to moniter your finances and tell them your problem. I know that is not an easy one but the secret side of gambling is what makes it easier to keep doing. There are ways to sort things but like you we were all clueless about what to do about things in the beginning. If you ring Gamcare they will give you good advice. There are ways of self excluding from sites, shops etc. There is plenty that can be done if you do your research and up to a point you do need to try and help yourself. Also weigh up all the worry you have each payday. When you eventually stop gambling that stress will gradually ease. We have tried all of this and life is a lot better now, not perfect, but a lot better. In a nutshell, thee can be light at the end of the tunnel. It is up to you what you do of course but hope these few tips are of help. Take care.

Hi j1992 and welcome to the forum :)) ...............

The way this works is pretty simple really and youve done the hard bit by coming here and admitting youv'e a Gambling problem which I feel is alway's one of the toughest things to do ...........

I came here just on 18 months ago in a pretty bed way and haven't gambled since and reading your post saying how you " Gamble your wages away , tell yourself your never going to gamble again but come monday it all starts again " is pretty much how I used to be :(( . .................... The good news is that it can change , you don't have to keep doing the same thing week after week and there's a better life to be had out there "BUT " and it's a big but you have to want to do it more than you want that next bet ...... You have to start taking some control back and you can do this for a start with afew simple things like , Self excluding yourself , I'm not sure what and where you gamble but if it's online you can download software to stop yourself accessing gambling sites , if its bookies theres a natiional self exclution line to get yoursef barred , if it's casinos theres a similar one available for that too :)) ..................... You could also think of restricting your access to the cash you carry or card , if it;s online then why not just report your card lost and when the replacement arrives rub off the 3 digit number ( without remembering it ) which would stop you placing online fund's .............................. Have you told anyone else you have a problem , a Partner or family ? It's always good to have people supporting you along the way and it also gives Gambing knowhere to hide as its no longder just your secret ? .

If you need any help with any of the suggestions I've made then you can click on the " Get advice section at the gtiop of the page and scroll and click on whatever you need to know or ask Gamcare direct or just post again on here , were all the same and know exactly how your feeling right now as weve all walked in your shoes at some point ......................

I look forward to hearing more of your story when your ready to share until then best wishes and take care ...............Alan

Hi j1992.

Welcome to the forum.

This will be your first step for change as long as you realise that you must act on the advice we give. Its not just a case of thinking Ive joined the forum and my willpower will do this from now on.

It reminds me of a little story where a guy at work would always be asking for money on a Monday morning to get some lunch and make it through the week. It was painful to see because his pride would stop him short of begging as he tried to put a brave face on it. People lent him money which they never got back and the next week he would be asking again. It was so sad to see but it eventually started to annoy people. He very soon lost his job over it.

That is just one example of a spiral down which leads to homelessness, bankruptcy and worse.

You can beat this with the openness and honesty to tell people close and start living on an allowance. While your mind heals you wont worry if its payday or monday morning because your money will be safe and controlled. Are you ready for the steps of self exclusion and allowances because thats what it takes in the earlier days if not for a long time. If you are scared of these measures its a sign that you may not be ready to stop

With our experience and recovery I can tell you that you will relapse time and time again if you dont back up your willpower with cast iron measures.

We have all had no food and even no electricity but have been back gambling again like the pain is easily forgotten. A gambling addiction shreds relationships and destroys families as if they were nothing.

So if you are ready to seek a born again moment thats what it takes. Secrets are no good for you. There is no shame in admitting gambling got to you. You must keep talking and keep learning as you have a lot to learn on your recovery journey

Please dont delay. It took me 10 months to do the right thing. You should find it a sense of relief to live on a small allowance. Its not about treating you like a baby...you will have enough to live on but no spare cash to waste away gambling.

I have all my bills monitored and ask for no money unless my family are in the bank with me transferring it to bills. I am self excluded from everywhere which does work and works well.

Please give gamcare a ring as many times as you like. A chat with a doctor or counsellor is also a very good idea

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi J1992

First of all welcome and you are definately in the right place if you want to stop gambling ! I cant say anymore than Alan and Joydivider already have said in there posts, the only thing i will say is that you have to WANT to stop gambling in order for you live a normal life as possible ! I am nearing 150 days GF and it feels so much better than when i was gambling !!

"Its good to talk and take it one day at a time"

All the Best
Darren

j1992 wrote: Hi I'm new so don't really know how this works but I'm looking for help. Starting off a new week skint after losing my wage gambling at the weekend, Starting my week as usual by saying never again I will not do it this again (but I always do). It's been the same for years now. Hopefully this is my first step for change as it's just to much and affecting my home life and the people I love. I don't even enjoy gambling anymore but it still seems to be all I think about and want to do, already worried about when I next get paid as I don't want it to happen again!