new to gamcare and need to sort this problem out

I feel your pain my friend 

If only it was as easy to say we will never gamble again and that's it, but any problem gambler knows this is not the case see as you know we need to not gamble everyday and night off our life we're as these money grabbing gamble companies only need us to relapse that once and the devastation it can cause is amazing in the amount we can lose and the carnage it causes in our life, they don't care what it does to us as long as the big men can sit in there big houses enjoying there life with there happy families. I'm so glad you've not got yourself in a position off debt and hope your family can forgive you. As I relapsed after more than a year and in the space of 1hr online I lost nearly  £8000 that I never even had, so for the first time in my life I had to get a food parcel from a church this week as I've not got a penny. I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself. So if I can give you any advice is put things in place in case you feel like doing it again don't let this devil drain you off your money and family and give yourself praise for reaching out for help. People who haven't got a gambling problem will never understand how it can keep you in it's *** like a vice and how dangerous it is, I wish you well going forward my friend but make sure you put barriers in place 

A

re

Hi Kev.

I did get in debt the first major flutter.to the degree of 15000 or something like that in total I dont even know the exact figure and I don't want too. Thsnk you for your kind reply this is something I have been wanting to do but the leap of faith to do so can be very daunting. and yiu are 100% right no one unfortunately understands why we do it. And when it gets hold of you its not so simple to just stop. I'm am going to stop and maybe I might be lucky not to lose my family but either way we cannot continue to be like this. All of us on this site and who has a problem. Thank you once again. And I am more than happy to help anyone on here that I can.

Cheers barrie 

Wise words Barrie

A least you understand how evil this addiction is and how you can round up so much debt, to be honest and can't think off another addiction that can get you in so much debt in such a short period of time and things just get worse and just can see it getting better,  all these new law's have been put in place but who's enforcing this. I can't see anyone doing it,  can you. But as a whole we need to stay strong and get as far away from this evil industry as possible and my friend you will help a lot off people on this site as we have the same addiction but different stories. Stay strong and I really hope you keep your family as this vice has wrecked enough off our lives. Can you not try some counselling through zoom that your partner can do with you or just sit there and see what this has done to you

Hi, I am also new on here and can really relate to your story Barrie as my wife found out 2 days ago about my gambling. I have been in online chat today and been referred for telephone counselling, have added gamban on my mobile and registered with Gamstop. This is the start of a long journey to hopefully same my marriage and get my life back. The fact that my secret is out has lifted some burden from me but it has destroyed my wife and I don't know if we will ever be the same again. This makes me determined to stop which i'm sure many people say, but it's one day at a time for us I suppose. Keep strong and lets beat this

Hi bladesman.

Very simular situation to mine. I have my telephone assessment tonight which I am obviously nerves about. But the onething I am excited about is that I can see other people like me In the same awful situation as me. If I csn help others by talking on here too I think that will help me also.This disease completely ruins you and your life. I just hope in time my wife may want to stay and we can get back to some normal. It is a same what she has to put up with.

Good luck and here if you need to chat buddy 

Hi blasesman.

I have done gamstop is gamban easy to install on your mobile ext.. 

Barrie 

Hiya barrie 

I'm glad you never got that from what I said as that's the last thing I was meaning as I know only too well how we need a family about us to kick this terrible addiction cause God knows have I made my mistakes and wouldn't be hear if it wasn't for my partner sticking by me, but it's different this time my friend as there's a horrible atmosphere in the house and I don't know if we're going to get through but that's because off more than one time and I hope with all my heart that you can keep you're family and asalt and partner can get through this and looking on her post there's a good chance they can just hope the same is for you my friend as none off us set out too hurt our loved ones.

Have just joined this myself after things came to a head in my household. I sat up having a beer on Friday but passed out at around 3 in the morning and my ex took issue with this. This was the first I’ve been drunk this year but she persists I have a problem with this as I did it early in our relationship too then she started about gambling too. I signed up to gamstop and showed her this but she said I would just find other ways. I have kept busy the past few days going for walks but there’s just this never ending tension in the household, my partner doesn’t seem to believe a word I say and Has openly said she is just waiting for me to fail, which isn’t great but has also gave me an ultimatum that I have to book in to counselling too because she feels I have some unhealthy with trauma. I guess all I can do is keep going but man it’s difficult at the minute with the ultimatums and the attitude, it’s like it’s all on her terms 

Hi Barrie,

Thanks for posting. I have just signed up today after my wife found out yesterday about my gambling. She found out that we are behind on bills, rent, etc. Now I’ve come clean for the first time about it all. I’ve been gambling on sports since I was 17 and now, almost 13 years on, I can’t really remember a day that I haven’t either placed a bet, thought about the next bet, or worried about money. I’ve borrowed money off family and friends and lied to each and everyone of them about why. It’s the feeling that I can’t shake that I always think I can make money and stop. I won £5000 last month and lost it all in an hour, same then month before. Made £4000 and then lost it all and borrowed more the try to win it back. Over the past decade I have no idea what I’ve lost, but I am £18,000 in debt that I need to pay back.

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel so much better today, just for coming clean. It’s a horrible feeling knowing that you have wasted so much of your life, but I know I can’t carry on and waste any more of my life with this horrible disease. I have a good job and have an amazing son. My wife doesn’t deserve this and I cannot wait to be able to say that I am debt free from all of this. 

I have always wanted to post in her and talk with other like-minded people, but have always worried and told myself that I don’t have a problem, it’s just a silly mistake I make here and there. But I know I have a problem, and I know that if I don’t face it head on, I will always have it. 

You sound committed and I really hope you find everything you need to help you stop and get your life back on track. I am hoping I can do the same.

TMIT3

It is difficult my friend 

But gambling is a horrible addiction and if she's read any off the stories on here boy will she be scared, just do as your doing show her how much your trying and yes she give you what for plus check on you all the time but trust is earned again and in time things will settle down but don't ever give up your determination to be gamble free as it's evil and I believe at the moment it's wrecked my life but I've got so much help in place I can't do no more apart from stay gamble free 

It amazes me this as you think you are the only person going through it all but reading these posts makes you realise how common it is. All we can do is take each day as it comes and stay positive. I read another post from someone saying each morning wake up and think of the positives if you get through the day without gambling, I know it is only 6 days for me but I haven't thought about gambling but I have the support of my family. I would say if your partner is prepared to help you through you need to accept it on their terms as it will benefit you in the long run

Such a wonderful thread and postings from people that feel they've hit rock bottom and yet are so supportive to each other. I hope you have all hit rock bottom and I mean that in the nicest way because of course, once you have hit the bottom there is only one way to go...upwards!

We are all very different but share one commonality which is once or on more than one occasion we lost control of ourselves and our money and through greed or anxiety or simply the dopamine chemical rush in our brains, we charitably gave our hard earned money to complete strangers who didn't need it in the first place!

So we all share a common theme of having been stupid. It has literally cost us. But we also share a common theme that we have all done one of the best things we could in our lives right now. We've all joined up here, publicly admitted our shame and failings, and given heartfelt statements about how we want to leave this behind and lead positive future lives for ourselves and loved ones.

I've repeated this somewhere else but truly believe it's important. Each evening we very slowly start our recoveries from these gut wrenching feelings, just before you go to sleep, recognize that by not gambling you've had a good day, a thousand times better day than 'that' day when you lost control. And tell yourself you have another positive day ahead of you when you wake up. Then sleep well because you deserve it!  

So so true. It’s the evening and today I’ve had a productive day at work and come home in a great mood. I am actually thinking of writing a book, nothing to do with gambling at all, but more so to do with work and what I do when training others in my role. The thought of giving so much time to it to get something valuable at the end (and the fact that I know it will be such a positive way to spend time, rather than staring at my phone screen hoping for a goal so that I can make back money I would’ve already lost that morning on some awful bets is a great feeling). 

You all sound like you are making fantastic steps forwards, well done to all of us! 

Hello all,

Some positivity in this thread even when faced with challenges. I'm not new here but I visit fairly regularly to keep myself grounded and to remind myself what I am.  For those of you with problems related to online gambling then I urge you to register with GAMSTOP (big thumbs up to those of you that have done that). It will help you a lot, it certainly did for me as I find myself over 2 years without any online gambling and less than 12 months from servicing my debt fully (my credit card debt was very large and I was regarded as being in persistent debt through paying the minimum amount and racking up interest, at the time I didn't consider myself like that as I was paying the monthly amounts so thought they would love me for it). My journey comes from the brink of despair where I gambled secretly and spent money hand over fist thinking I could handle it but not really paying attention to the increase in monthly costs to service credit card debts, eventually things came to a head and I realised I had to make a change. Most importantly, I registered with GAMSTOP and I also came clean to those closest to me (both friends and family) , it was tough but I was so pleased that I'd done it as the relief was euphoric even in the face of ruin. Over last couple of years I've managed my finances carefully and rebuilt my credit rating, I'm proud of the person I am now rather than regretful of the person I was (but I don't forget, I will never forget!!).   I am open and honest with folk now about my past gambling but I've handled the recovery fairly privately, it suited me that way so I cannot share with you how therapy or other support sessions work as I simply don't know so I'll stick to honesty and gambling blocks as my advice.

I hope my post shows that some perseverance, honesty and support from others will help you on your journey, I wish you all the best of luck and hope to say 'Hi' every now and then.

Kindest Regards

Si