My Bf gambling

Hi Asalt,

So sorry to hear what you're going through its a horrible thing to find out. I also recently found out my boyfriend of two years was a gambler and our baby is due in 10 weeks. I'm a week ahead of you in this journey now and I'm thinking a lot more clearly so thought I would share some things that have helped me. 

1. First and foremost protect your own finances, get advice about how to do this properly but definitely things like changing pin number/passwords hiding cash if you have it in the house and he knows where it is etc.

2. Give yourself time to think and process and definitely space away from him to do this. It didn't help anything last week for me whilst we were in the same house going round in circles. 

3. Don't hide what has happened from your trusted family and friends because you need all the support you can get right now. Also don't let him make you feel bad for telling people because he might well do. I would also say though, be cautious of telling everybody as not all opinions are helpful but its definitely good to have a few people close to you who know whats going on so they can help. 

4. Try to look after yourself as much as you can. I spent a couple of days in bed and felt worse. Make sure you eat, sleep, gentle exercise. Do things that make you feel good so that you can think more clearly. 

5. Keep using the forums and helpline and refer yourself into counselling as its so helpful.

6. Don't try and fix the problem for him by lending money or telling him how he can fix himself, he needs to want to do this himself so don't do all the work for him (easier said than done when you just want things to feel normal I know). 

I am no expert and very much still at the start of my journey with my boyfriend but remember that you are the victim in this and therefore the most important person. Think about yourself first and don't feel guilty if it feels like too much to take on. 

Sending lots of strength to you. 

Thank you,  RMairead

You are a star! Your reply is so clear , and its easy to understand where to start! We live separately and this is good.  I love him and don't want to leave him,  but its up to him   im not going to let him to continue.  If he wants to be with me,  he has to stop.  Of course I'll help him as much as I can.  

I just hope he will be able to sort it out.  He is very good person, has a good job, looks good,   he loves me so much   he is very romantic,  smart, helpful and I can continue....

Hi everyone, I am very glad to see this awesome discussion.