Not just fighting addiction

Get financial help! That payment plan on £40k is excessive! Yes you got you into the mess but recovery is about letting the money go & busting a gut to repay debts means you barely feel the benefits of not gambling! Also, why should your family suffer because 'financial institutions' allowed you to get into such a mess?!

Perhaps more importantly, get psychological help! You're not a bad person, you're an addict & addiction encourages us to hate ourselves so that we can keep turning to it to make us feel better! What tosh!

Speak to someone: GamCare, GA, your GP all viable options for support. Money doesn't makes us happy (not to say it can't help) so there's no reason why your little soldier can't be happy in hand me downs or bargain bins but yes, being able to get him an ice cream is something that you should be able to do on your wage! Do you have a pound shop near you? Maybe you could pop along & buy a kit & get him to help make his own special lollies...It's not exactly cream cream but you can make them with inexpensive juice mixers & probably milkshake mix?

I get the impression, you have had debt repayment plans before (? I had a new one every night when I was still active) & they're only good if we sort out our heads as well as our finances because that way we figure out how to never go back! Your previous post to someone was to get help, time to take your own advice.

You can do this - ODAAT

Plus, welcome to recovery Colt & congratulations on your gamble free time 🙂

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Debt is debt whichever way you look at it. Eventually it will be paid off but why pay so much in the meantime. Sure - you made a mistake but paying through the nose for it seems a bit much.

I got into debt through gambling plus other issues and i have a DMP with Stepchange. They look at my income and all expenditure and decide what is a reasonable amount to pay which is distributed amongst my creditors. They also encourage saving.

You might be able to free up a few pennies and get a 99 as well!!!

Best wishes

Hi Colt and welcome. I'll just echo the advice you have already received. Is there any reason you couldn't pay say 500 a month over 8 years or so instead of a grand a month over 4 years? I'm sure you and your family would be ok with that? Of course you will be in debt longer but the sooner you come to terms with it the better. Money comes and goes but our time is spent just the once. I too used to want to get out of debt as quickly as possible but it only put me further into the red. The guilt will soon subside after all you have the rest of your life to make happy memories with your family!

Hi guys. Thank you so much for your advice it's invaluable it really is.

I have taken it on board and done abit of research into DMPs in the past and a little more this afternoon aswell as speaking to an advisor. He said the same as you guys to be honest

I must admit the concept of decreasing my payments is appealing as I am currently paying minimum amounts and of course interest. The only worry I have is affecting my credit rating I will have to discuss this further and decide if this is damage I will just have to accept.

As for gambling I am still staying strong and not feeling any urge and am looking forward to watching more football this weekend without sweating profusely or feeling sick at full time.

Hi half life

Id never thought of that before, it's an excellent point. I suppose more than anything I just want rid of this as quick as possible

Me and my wife sat down again tonight and had another chat (we tend to do that quite alot now) we have put forward some good life plans which involve strict repayments taking it a year at a time. We have acknowledged its gunna be tough but at the end of it my wife will start her teaching course, we can look at extending the house and will book Florida for the kids. Above anything else we can look back and say we did it together. The first hurdle is getting through this year. I'm in the military and Work are sending me to Afghanistan for the best part of a year, even though this means I will miss the birth of my second child it does mean absolutely 0 chance of gambling and the opportunity to save for when I get home Thank you to everyone who has commented, what a difference 8 hours makes because of u all I seem to have found a new inner strength and positivity

Hi half life

Id never thought of that before, it's an excellent point. I suppose more than anything I just want rid of this as quick as possible

Me and my wife sat down again tonight and had another chat (we tend to do that quite alot now) we have put forward some good life plans which involve strict repayments taking it a year at a time. We have acknowledged its gunna be tough but at the end of it my wife will start her teaching course, we can look at extending the house and will book Florida for the kids. Above anything else we can look back and say we did it together. The first hurdle is getting through this year. I'm in the military and Work are sending me to Afghanistan for the best part of a year, even though this means I will miss the birth of my second child it does mean absolutely 0 chance of gambling and the opportunity to save for when I get home Thank you to everyone who has commented, what a difference 8 hours makes because of u all I seem to have found a new inner strength and positivity

Hi Colt,

My debts were a similar amount.

I approached my creditors direct and sorted 0% interest repayments with them. I had to do in/out expenses with them and didn't tell them they were gambling debts. They froze the accounts and accepted reasonable repayments. My short term credit is shot to pieces but why would I want more credit when I know the chances are that I would gamble it away? In fact, i don't think that i ever want credit again.

The debts have reduced nicely and a few have finished. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is a good feeling.

Another suggestion to think about.

I can buy cream cream (cute).

Best wishes. X

When u say u approached them direct?? Which department? How did that conversation go??? Very intrigued

Rang the number where it says "if you are having difficulty paying" on the statement.

They ask about all your incoming/outgoing expenses. Some send forms. All are slightly different. It's a pain but a relief when its sorted and most of them are fine as long as you pay the agreed amount. They renew it 6/12mthly. The only one which was difficult was my bank overdraft with L loyds. They have been a pain. All others have been fine.

Colt11 wrote:

hi colt

The guilt has driven me insane

But i wonder is it guilt or is it the desire to gamble masked

As guilt an excuse to gamble

I am only gambling to win the money back for my family etc.

How many of us have said those words.

Not saying that is the case with you but be careful.

In the end it cost me everything.

Of course seeing your family go with out hurts but if you start gambling again

They will loose a lot more i lost are home because i could not or would not stop

I have said this a thousand times even if i won the lotto it would not repair the damage i have done be glad you still have a family and a home.

I would give anything just to have my family back anything.

Hi all

I have been on this forum for a while but mainly just used it for reading and getting ideas and inspiration etc.

My story then- well I'm 34 I have always gambled but never found it a problem- it's only in the last 2 years or so that it took hold. I am in around 40 grand of debt mainly due to sports betting online casinos and chasing losses Again over a 2-3 year period. I have a good repayment plan (not formal just one I have set myself) in place and am paying back a grand a month hoping to be free from debt in 4 years max. I haven't gambled in a while (around 2 weeks) and am doing very well with my recovery.

However I am struggling with one side of it and that is the utter guilt that tears me up every day. I have a wife and a gorgeous son and another baby on the way. Because of how much I am paying back it means quite obviously that we don't have a lot of money per month in our pockets. My wife dreams of going on holidays or extending our house and this just isn't possible. I despise myself every night when she is on Facebook looking at other people on holiday or scanning through our honeymoon photos during better times dreaming of going back. I have a good job of 40k a year and a modest mortgage- I want to give her everything she wants!!

And then there's my boy- the apple of my eye everything I ever wanted in a son. Having to settle for hand me down clothes or bargain bins all because of his dad who should be so much stronger losing control. Last week we went for a walk he was asking for a cream cream (ice cream) it was a day before payday and I didn't even have £1.99.

I hate myself so much for everything I am at the minute and can't believe what this illness has done. i can't lift my chin off my chest most of the time. Any help or advice from people in similar circumstances would be much appreciated