Hi all, this is a slight morbid post and am not seeking answers or advice - just wondered if anyone had the same feeling.
I'm 40+ days gamble free so all going well on that front.
Have always had quite depressive tendencies throughout life and probably had the occasional "suicidal" contemplation in my youth and adulthood - nothing worrying or sinister or practical, just the odd "what would it be like to end it all" type thought - probably we all have had such feelings
However, being 15k in debt and still fighting this gambling issue, my inner monologue (when discussing this suicidal conversation) is "oh couldn't possibly consider suicide whilst in debt, I'd want to be debt free before suicide is even an option!".
Does that make sense in a weird way? In a bizarre way, becoming debt free (if God willing I can get there), would mean these suicide conversations would become more realistic?
(Not to worry, I'm just philosophising, I'm not at danger to myself etc ). It's just an odd way of thinking that has developed and no better place to express it than here I guess.
Sorry!
No idea what to make of this to be honest, in an odd kind of way, it's kinda thoughtful but not something you want in your mind. All I would really say is that I think that if you are having such thoughts (however seriously) you really should be speaking to a counsellor.
Yes the way your talking I think you need to talk to some one about your suicidal thoughts and your debts,personally I think you sound depressed a bit (not s uprising with having the willpower to give up gambling too), the reason I'm saying this is I have had all 3 (did sort out the depression and debts tho by speak to professionals and getting help for both) now sorting out the gambling addiction, it's a long slow process but I'm getting there,please get help,I'm not going to kid you it isn't going to be easy but stick with it and you will come through the other side.
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