Good morning everyone,
Yesterday was pay day for me which meant another month of debt being paid & not an excuse to blow it all on gambling.
I sometimes sit and think what I used to do and think about prior to gambling, when gambling for the last 9 years was all that occupied my thoughts. From the moment I’d wake up I would be viewing the football fixtures and the odds, carefully picking a team to bet ridiculously amounts of money on that day that would lose. 250k of debt in 9 years later is where I start my journey that is at its 93rd day.
Now at the age of 42 I feel as though I am having to re-educate myself to think like a normal person and think about normal things rather than gambling 24/7.
I have an amazing family, great job, how I have managed to juggle that whilst being a wreck less addict is beyond me. The lies, how distant I was around them, half hearing what they are talking to me about and just smiling and saying yes as my thoughts were towards checking the score of the bet I had on. Trying to remain professional at work and function on Monday after losing 5k that weekend, the toll that physically and mentally takes on your body, the hair loss and anxiety. The sleepless nights.
I would honestly begrudge treating myself to a pair of £50 Jeans but instead be happy to lose £5000 in football bets that day. It is scary how quickly you thought process can change when being an addict.
However I am 93 days into the last chance saloon and after the last 9 years and failed attempts of quitting I will not be beaten. I have hope and dreams and an end goal in less than 3 years being debt to free.
I will beat this 100% and so can all of you.
I honestly cannot thank the kind people that reply to me each time that are on similar journeys to me. One day it would be great to somehow meet you all and say “WE DID IT”
Hi there. I know exactly what you mean and that feeling of total burnout along with constant headaches
Always feeling like if you are not in the system then you are missing out and as we all know the system is definitely worth missing out on
Lets build your day’s system free with steel like determination, including helping others worse off, walking and workouts, breathing techniques and better communication skills
One hundred percent 👑
King, everything you say is like me telling my story. My focus now is family time and actually engaging and listening to what people are talking to me about.
The brain does need to be re-trained and I think it takes about 100 days to do that. The main problem now for anyone that hates what this addiction has done to them is not the gambling, it’s the thoughts about what you have done to yourself - whether that’s the neglect to your family or the money lost.
My battle is not gambling now it’s trying not to get depressed about the debt that needs paying. 5 years for me so it’s a long time and money I should have spare to treat the family etc is constantly on my mind.
Anyway, well done again for getting to this point mate, you are smashing it. The happy life is coming.
G
@g100 Good to hear from you again my man.
We are on the same journey my friend! We can conquer this.
You are so right about it’s not the gambling, it’s the pain inside about the debt we have to pay off when we should be living comfortably lives.
One day this can be put behind us. Keep battling. Each day is a new day.
Fantastic King!👏👏👏. Not long to go before you reach a very important milestone. I agree, it is crazy how our gambling mind would think and work. I, on many occasions over the years, had lost all of my monthly salary in a matter of hours of it hitting my account, yet, no way would I fork out more than £1.00 for a Sainsbury’s delivery charge!! I mean, what is all that about?🤷🏻♀️. Just typing this almost five months on just seems ludicrous!!
I too am fortunate to have such a loving and supportive family and they are more important than anything. We are both so lucky as I am aware that not everyone has this.
Keep going strong and keep doing what you are doing and making your day’s, weeks and months better.
Wishing you all the best.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
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