Relapse

 Hi , Jammydodger101

Sorry to hear that you have had a relapse , but really well done for opening up about this and posting your story . That is a very positive thing to do and there's a lot of hope and support for you. 

It's normal to sometimes feels ashamed and down at these times but these feelings will pass and these relapses will happen so try not to be so hard on yourself.  Things can get better every day gambling free and it can be done. 

Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.

All the best 

Kirk 

Forum Admin 

Hi jammydodger, well done for posting and opening up, all of us have been there and know how hard it is. The mistake you made is trying to control your gambling. Your step of transferring wages was brilliant and I can understand why you thought that giving yourself a fixed amount was a good idea but as you now know money in the hands of a compulsive gambler is like a kid in a candy shop. For me winning used to send me off on a tangent like you described chasing more until I lost it all again then I would sit there thinking ' what is wrong with me? ' Youre feeling anxious and stressed so you must get on top of it now you're young deal with it now and it can be an uncomfortable blip in your life. The easiest way to make a crash start is to use gamstop and block your access to websites take away the temptation. Give the Gamcare advisors a call and get some help, you can do this ! Best wishes

Hi JD and Welcome.

Yes one of the most dangerous things about this addiction is that it waits for its opportunity and comes at you right out of the blue. It triggers and in that moment all control is lost. Its so complex that the trigger can even be a happy feeling that our lives are going well.

What counters that is a strong mind usually well into recovery. I was thinking the other day that its taken me years to build up a healthier mind. Im certainly way better now than i was after the first or even second year.

In the earlier days a few things nearly relapsed me...losing my gold ring was one of them...I turned round and started walking to an arcade. Only a station announcement and the realisation that it was my last train in hours pulled me back...I dont know how because I was past caring at that moment.

I have done my fair share of relapsing for 10 months after I joined the forum. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Reset yourself and please tell your partner. Get the words out because ultimately there is no shame in telling the truth about it.

You know you havent done it with an evil laugh to hurt your partner...in that moment it just seemed so right to be having a go and you dont really know why...in that moment it seemed soothing or helpful...thats the addiction in your bloodstream

You have to talk through your vunerabilities and ensure that your wages cant come to you early again...whichever way you do that it must be shut down. keep talking  about it...I know stressful jobs, uncaring colleagues, losing in love and very bad news are possible triggers...aimless behaviour away from home...motorway service stations...lonely feelings...bad environments all trigger the devil may care feelings....the addiction will also work on trigger feelings of feeling happy on holiday and someone says go on come to a casino...you have a lot to think about to remain strong and gamble free

Have said that Im pretty strong now. I associate gambling with a meh feeling or just an awareness that its sad behaviour...I know deep down that its just miserable or like sticking my hand in a fire

You can never be complacent...There is no day when you can say yippee its all history but that is a positive statement you can base positive living on.. you do get stronger though and you will have better things to do with your time

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Thank you for sharing your story and please belive me that you are not alone. I have been gambling simliarly to you since about 23 years of age and am now 48. 

Though I relapsed the last two months and lost alot today I have registered with GAmstop and excluded myself from the online bookies. 

Listening to you it is a carbon copy here. Was chasing those losses and it never works out. Even when I made it back therre wasnt a stop point, just the next bet and then the next bet.

As others have said, just take it slow. One day at a time. You can get better as each day passes and then at some point look back and its been a long time without gambling. But then you have to understand, "The dangers are just as real 10 years down the line as they were the day you stopped!". Try to make mental notes or even writtten notes now about how you feel, your regrets etc. And keep those thoughts or better still written records so you can refer to them when you feel the urge.

I have friends who I am sure care for me, but even some of them think betting is not so big a problem and sometimes tempt me. Or tell me well done if I made money when I relapsed. Its really all down to you and remembering how you felt when you were down from gambling. 

I felt great two months ago. Made money and thought I will have a flutter. Its just too darn easy to forget how bad it is.

I wish you all the best and will take your story and add it to mine as I try to pull out of my gambling nightmare. Thank you.

I feel your pain. Chasing the loss. If you don't put the first bet on then there is nothing to chase, it's that simple. However.

yea we've all been there its a right headache 

unfortunately you just have to make it through one day at a time for next 6 weeks then the pain will fade and you will be able to get on with things

Reading your story was basically me reading about what I do. 

I however turned to overdrafts and loans. I've put myself back financially about 5 year. I was at the point where if my wife found out after giving me lots of chances I would be without my family I thought why cant i just stop. 

I felt less of a man and it really got me down when I think about my money situation. I had to take myself away from situations from as daft as it sounds I dont drink sports bars as they tend to have racing on I loved listing to talk sport but they are full of bookmakers telling you the latest odds. 

When you have a beer and lads are putting a bet on there phone and ask you to pick a team now I say nah mate I'm not giving the bookies another pound. I really struggle and am nowhere near as strong as I need to be  but day by day I'm getting there. 

I always have to remind myself every day that I'm a gambling addict and I cant do what others find so easy to do put a little bet on cos if I did it would be like a heroin addict just taking 1 hit and before I know it that pound bet has lost me 5 years and my house and family. Stay strong and remember this is hard you can never take your guard down all though no one wants to be a addict we are and things can go wrong very fast.