Hey, folks, I'm 32 next month and I feel like I could punch myself so much. I have gambled from age 17-18 and it escalated like too many others do... It's crazy where I could be now with my business and job if I didn't gamble. It's a short term fix for a long term problem, either way, I know I will lose so why do it?
I have recently told my partner I gambled and lost £1200 on roulette (the devils game) which it is...you win then you lose, win more then lose even more so on... for weeks months years! you never actually win as you are constantly doing it! I hadn't gambled in quite some time but I have been making money online marketing, Amazon for awhile, however, something happened and lost £3000 in my business (not gambling) it P****d me off so I gambled to try and get it back (trigger)... pointless though as even if I did get it back who won? I might have the money back but I'm back to square one yet again after years of not gambling.... that means more to me than the money. I owe my girlfriend money who helped with my biz and I lied about where the money was etc... I feel guilt, almost suicidal about it as she is the best person I know and want to be a better partner, have a better relationship etc... I don't mean to lie but a trigger in my brain is like I don't deserve to be happy & have to hit rock bottom in order for this whole thing to come out and my partner to find out.... also I have a son aged 10 and it makes me feel ashamed that I am doing this when I could spend the money on doing stuff with him and my partner. I feel like i need a reminder how bad gambling is like a tattoo of something to remind me never to gamble it might sound silly but looking at it on my arm or wrist would remind me to be a better person.
I need to kick this once and for all. I'm going to go to CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and ask my partner to come, also maybe GA meetings... I've been to CBT before but didn't really help as I wasn't honest with the person who was helping me, wish I could wave a magic wand and go back to being 17 and never putting a bet on or a hypnotist could put me in a trance to never bet again 🙁
it's going to be hard AGAIN but I know I can do it, I'm always chasing money in my biz and I've decided to sell my house and pay off all my debt as I think somewhere in my mind I am thinking "im in so much debt I need to gamble to get out of it" as if I lose ill just be in a little more debt... I could have paid my debt off 10 fold if I just used the money I have generated in my business.
Thanks for listening and helping me get things off my chest, I have made a vow I will focus my energy on my job, paying my debt, and doing something magical for my partner as she deserves it after 6 years of broken promises ill do this, ill pay for that etc.... time is ticking and you have to enjoy the life we have at present, not the future as I'm constantly chasing the future I want rather than living in the present and working hard.
peace
Hello Pac_man
I'm sorry to hear about you having a tough time in your business then that triggering your gambling urges. It's good you have things to be grateful like you child and partner, use these as your drive to get control of your gambling.
Well done for taking action and arranging to go to CBT. And you're right chasing the future you'll miss out on what you have now so definitely focus on that.
All the best
Conradnose
check out my blog www.conradnose.com
Hi pac_man,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story with us. I’m glad you found our forum a safe and convenient place to pour your heart out. Forum members are very supportive of each other, and you’re likely to get a lot of response and encouragement from fellow members. Hopefully, that would take some of the burden off your shoulders.
It also seems like you managed to abstain from your gambling for a whole period of time, and in an attempt to replace losses in your business, you relapsed and went bank to gambling.
As at now, you sound very determined to do what it takes to stop gambling; you’ve informed your partner about your latest loss whilst gambling, already arranged to go for CBT and has invited your partner to come along too. That is not all, but you’re also thinking of attending GA meetings to encourage yourself, and would use the rest of time to focus on your business, and do more things with your son and partner. That sound really good, and keeping to your words would hopefully bring some positive changes to your life, and distract you from gambling.
Maybe, you’d like to contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers regarding what other options are available to you in terms of overcoming your gambling problem.
Our lines are open everyday from 8.00am to midnight.
I’ll encourage you to try and stay in touch with us, and please keep posting!
Best wishes,
Beatrice
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