So everything hit the fan :(

Dear @ck1989

First of all welcome to the the forum, and well done for taking the first step in getting help. You are certainly not alone, there is plenty of support here for you. 

You are taking action at the right time before your gambling escalates even more. Having a gambling problem can isolate and make you feel lonely at times, the key is that its now out in the open and you are taking action which is a very positive step forward. 

The realization that our actions can hurt our loved ones can be very painful, and therefore I can appreciate this is all quite raw for you. The best way to mend things between you and your missus is honesty and openness.

Please know that you (and your partner) are welcome to call us 24/7  for one to one support and advice. 

Please keep posting and sharing as it can be helpful to keep track of your progress by writing on the forum. 

Wishing you all the best and take care 

Kay 

Forum Admin

make the last bet you placed the best one ever - the last.  the bookies won, the money has been lost, well done for confessing, now keep seeking the help

The bookies beat me as well, fair play to them, I now choose to make sure I win every day, by not gambling

best wishes to you

Hi welcome to the forum. Online slots were my downfall I installed gamban and am speaking to a Councillor I have gone 20 days GF and feeling amazing because of it. Gonna be paying gambling debts for a while but hopefully this is the hard lesson I need to beat this horrible addiction good luck ? 

Hi ck1989

Welcome to the forum and sorry you need to be here.

Your story of early wins, thoughts that this is a way to easy money and then a big loss is just to familiar to me and many others on here.

At the moment you are are probably feeling a whole mixture of feeling of sick, numb, humiliated, angry. You think you never want to gamble again. These feelings are unlikely to last -  in a week, a month or whenever you'll get a urge maybe late at night and you'll tell yourself you will be sensible this time and if you won previously you can do it again and this time you will stop when you are ahead. I can't guarantee this will happen but based on the experience of the majority of the people on this site it will happen so do you want to take the risk? You have lost £4k this time, it might be £20k next time, can you afford that or will your wife stand by you next time?  

My advice is call the number at the top of this page and get some help immediately. If you can't/won't do that at least get some strong blocks in place - sign up to Gamstop for 5 years to prevent you gambling online and lose any access to money to gamble online so give your bank/credit cards to your wife for a while and close any accounts like Paypal. 

Take from this what you will. I got a very similar reply to my first post when I lost a similar amount of money as you and largely ignored it because I did not really think I had a problem. I told myself I had just made a stupid mistake and there was no way I was going to do it again. I did and have relapsed twice since despite putting blocks in place. This is a incredible powerful addiction that you need to take seriously - it is unlikely to just go away without some significant effort on your part. 

Good luck and keep posting

Muststop123 

You know at first I was winning. And thought I will play with there money now and then ooooof it's your own money like a slow trickling stream.. My addiction is the actual casino slots.. Not online at all. No desire.. Two or three times a week now I drive ladt these places plus where I live is home to a huge betting consortium.. I'm getting there.. Full of whys.. But no I will not let self pity jump in on the act to further cause me despair. E I'm not in a desperate place financially but could have put the money to better use. But I cannot allow gambling anymore to entertain my hours which could be put to better use and take away what money is mine for my future.. Best of to all. 

Boo Radley, 

Thanks for the comment and the guidance. So all of my blocks started coming into affect, feels like i have had a limb cut off. Never thought it would affect me so much, have my first GA meeting tmora so will see how it goes. Is it mad i feel angry that i am blocked off sites now ? Like somehow my life nearly imploding is somehow impeding my addiction. Feel c**P but trying to get through. Cheers again

Cheers 

Means a lot and yes strave the beast and it cant feed ey. 

Must stop

Thanks and yeah aim to keep posting feels embracing to just have people reply to what feels like a curse bared upon me, but understand lots of us are going through it. Tbh your right now the dust has settled a bit I probally would go again and that is the size of the problem. It feels like it has feasted on the last parts of you and then you recover just a bit, and it calls you back, putrid addiction and just want to try and get better. Try and beat it together it hates unity. 

Hi ck and welcome to the forum.

Its an interesting title because the reality is that everything hit the fan the minute you were hooked on them. The extreme danger of slot gambling can not be underestimated.

They are designed to hook people fast. Before you know it you have no control as you have described. We think we have some control and end up scratching our heads in a numb panic as all the money has been gambled to extinction. They will take everything you have in a trance session.

The mind shuts down to lessen the pain of reality and its the worst feeling in the world...not much tops the devastating feeling of gambling hard earned,vital money to extinction

You need help and there is no shame in admitting that...proper help for it is an illness of the mind. There is no room for any complacency. It is a drug addiction and both you and your family need to know how serious this is. Its no silly game about a flutter...it will completely ruin you and you now know its bad but it gets far far worse if you continue.

Yes the thrill is a drug but it very quickly turns you into an addict seeking a fix...the highs lessen and when the pressure is on you wont win. Its not an income scheme...its a filter scheme with other punters money...the gambling dens win every day no matter what as they take a percentage...all the risk is with you and they will tease you without mercy that it could be you. On those odds it wont and you need to learn about those odds.

The slots are NOT easy money...they ARE the Crack C*****e of gambling worse than that the are the crystal meth of the drug world and make no mistake gambling should be on the list of health warnings.

Youve had a high...they will give you that and you wanted more. The truth is the money is just on a borrow until you use up all of yours by handing to them. 

The machines are designed to show more activity than they are actually doing...false wins, chasing bonus symbols and near misses. For a tiny amount you are looking at 1 in 10 odds just to start with

When out of control you will chase and chase cos its got to come right....it wont as it doesnt ease up on you the longer you play yes more chances but at the same horrendously long odds...you make rasher and rasher decisions that is if your not in a complete trance... the adrenaline and dopamine are in control of your bank balance.

I knew I was in trouble..serious trouble but the mind and body wouldnt let me leave because reality was facing the pain of loss...reality was walking out on the cold grey street to my humdrum life.

Reality was no food in my cupboards and no electricity on but it was an addiction so powerful it would leave me starving

You need a born again moment of the serenity of accepting all the help you can get. You need to tell your wife again what you are doing and hand over control of every penny immediately

Are you Ready?

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hey

I have been where you are, I spent money that wasn’t mine on gambling and when I came clean the feeling of disgust was unbearable.  I wound up about 5-6k in debt and was at my lowest point and aged 30 after 14 years of doing it, I admitted I was a gambling addict for the first time.  That was September 9th 2017.  I have just reached 785 days clean but take it from me not one day is easy, each day is a new challenge.

So you say your partner was badly hurt by what you did, so was mine, she was all for kicking me out but she put her arms around me, told me she loved me and that she wanted to help me.  I am sure yours will do the same for you, but be honest with her, tell her everything in your daily life, good or bad, then she is your tag team partner in this life long fight, that’s what it is when we admit to the problem.

Day after day I am strapping on my armour but I carry no shield, we all have to face it head on, no hiding because that is what make us stronger. Different things work for different people, what worked for me may not be what does for you, only you will find your coping mechanisms, when you do use it as your sword in the battle against addiction.  When we admit addiction we all join the same army in the war against gambling so to speak, we are brothers and sisters in recovery, all of us different, all have a similar goal if not we wouldn’t be here on this forum.

Stay strong and believe in yourself, be true to yourself and your loved ones.  Try and build a good support network, I did, over 2500 people know my story now and I try and help people in my local area as much as possible.  We all need someone to have our backs at times and when we do it gives us courage.  I now am 8 weeks away from owing nothing but no shortcuts were taken, I had to go 7 months to begin with having practically no money to enjoy at all.  I not telling you any of this to brag or to worry you, just to prepare you so that when you take more steps on recovery you have an idea of some of the barriers in the way.  Talk to people on here when you come to barriers, gamcare is amazing and the admin and counsellors who work for them are outstanding, my counsellor is now one of my best friends.

Keep strong brother

Matty