I have hit rock bottom. I’ve been self excluded with gam stop for about 5 years now. Before then I was a compulsive gambler on all UK sites.
sometimes I would borrow money in the hope to win it back and then when I lost I would take out loans. This was until I ruined my credit and was refused loans.
Over the last 5 years I have found myself playing online on sites that aren’t on GameStop! Big mistake. I’ve had my debit card compromised twice because of this. I feel ashamed.
I then started going on sites that are called giveaways, buying raffle tickets to win a car or instant wins on money. I could spend £300 and win £1000 on an instant win and then spend it all on raffle tickets! Writing this makes me feel sick. I am ashamed, humiliated and feel worthless.
When my mum passed away last year, I didn’t receive any inheritance, it all went to her new husband who blocked me and my siblings from his life and he went off into the sunset with my mothers money. I went into a deep depression and gambled, gambled and gambled, I think it was because I wasn’t addressing the issue I was grieving and my MH. I was under the impression I could win what I could have had from my mother’s inheritance. It didn’t work that way.
I work part time, I also have mental health and health issues that affect me daily.
I hate the person I’ve become. False happiness when I’ve won and severe depression when I lose. My life has become consumed by winning and losing.
Today is day 1 into my recovery. I CANT and I don’t want to carry on gambling any more.
It’s a horrible addiction. My life is worth more than feeling this way. My life is worth living.
Hi mate sorry to hear about lossing a parent its tough however well done for reaching out if you want to talk to someone u can use the online facilities their a few members who offer great advice in the mean time i would start a dairy on here to document how u are feeling on a day to day basic im currently on day 357 almost a year gamble free so it possible to have a normal life u have already done blocks which is good i would recomend to hand over finances especially early days and limit the funds available into your account from past experience i wouldnt stop until i ran out of funds its an awful addiction to have having said this with right steps in place things can get better its always one day at a time it will also help if u can let someone know how u are feeling early days are tough but once u get though few weeks think do change
Your story is so like mine, and I’m so new to this and see so many familiar traits and habits and thoughts it’s even scarier to think what a nasty addiction this is and all consuming. You have no OFF or STOP, you know you cannot afford to do it but that tiny thought that the next bet will win it at back and more keeps you hooked. I am struggling to see why we keep going back when we know that damage we are doing to our and our families, we would not all run into extreme danger like a fire yet we know we are causing harm yet still do it. What drives us to keep doing it , in one session you can blow thousands you don’t have. My mind is blown
Hi,
Well done for coming on here, it takes a lot of guts to admit you have a problem.
Was the site called Winner Winner Chicken Dinner by any chance? I’m only asking because I was on there too, but luckily it didn’t get out of hand. My gambling was all done on Facebook.
All you can do is take one day at a time, be kind to yourself and grab hold of any support that’s out there. Stay connected to people in the same position as we all get it.
Remember this is an illness. I hit rock bottom last July, took out tens of thousands of pounds of debt in my husband’s name without him knowing. Currently I am 24 days away from being one year GF!
You can never beat the system, you’ll never be a winner, because whatever you win will always go back and more. Eventually you could bet the value of a house, win double and will still want more.
Best of luck on your journey, you can do this!!!
Claire x
So sorry you’re going through all this, I was the same and last August it all came out, thankfully I have a great support network now, the best thing has been to be honest about it, my first port of call though was to chat to someone on GamCare so if you haven’t already then do chat online with someone, it helped me so much to get it all out and from there they referred me to a face to face councillor, which I chose as I was in desperate need to talk to someone who could help professionally, I am nearly a year gambling free and feel so much better for it, I haven’t felt any huge urges, if things get too much in anyway I have a journal which I’m pleased to say I haven’t needed for a while now, and my favourite saying now is “Not today” please if you can’t pick up the phone to talk then chat online to someone, it changed my life. I hope you find the strength x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
