Start of my journey

This is similar story as me i had a relapse my intention was to get back the money from the previous relapse and then never gamble again i told ga this and i manage to become g/f for 6 months however it always played in the back of my head i got an unexpected fine which led me back into gambling i won substantial money and my previous loss and half my losses since i started since 2006 problem was i was content however i could stop as i went out of control, i lost it all and now i am in debt, its been two weeks and i have never felt so much hate when i got into debt that money i went in the intention to lose this has never happened before i was so fed up and i want to learn my lesson, am at a stage where i dont enjoy gambling and im confident after so many relapses due to things going on the journey is getting easier as im more determined now then ever

Hi @k28tbovf7r

What was the trigger that made you take up gambling again?

I'm so sorry to hear how it's put a strain on your marriage, I haven't faced that particular issue however I do know how Important it is to listen when the other party decides they want to talk, and not just to listen but to actively listen and understand how they feel. 

All the best

@oranje01 I’m not actually sure thought I could manage and control it but that wasn’t the answer infact it ended up worse than it ever was ?

@k28tbovf7r

So it was more out of boredom/ curiosity?? 

Was it quite easy  for you to access gambling platforms? A lot of us on here have banned/ restricted ourselves using blocking software and GamStop. Would be interesting to know if you did this before you started gambling again? 

@oranje01 this is what scares, even with block in place and ristrictions its still possible to gamble as some people are by passing it to get their fix, at my early days i was still similar boat as i just couldnt stop i would barred myself however few days later i would end up in diff place to gamble and i have even had to walk miles home on several occasion has i couldnt afford to fuel my car, im at a stage now where ive covered relapses for everything and i just cant see how i could possibily relapse feon death to illness to fines everytime i have relapsed gambling always made it worse for me am relieved in a way but sad i couldnt have felt like this sooner, i was told by an ex gamblier in order for u to stop their good to be a big enough reason and this last relapse was it 

@oranje01 I never gambled online before to 2 years ago it was in casinos and I have all blocked now and yes probably boredom and a loss of a family member it stops your mind thinking of things when I was gambling my mind was somewhere else 

@k28tbovf7r 

I really appreciate your honesty. I felt like a kid in a candy store when I walked into a casino and felt a massive release from all of my problems. It was extremely difficult to beat the temptation and desire to visit land based casinos. My personality changed and I lost concept of time, money and reason. My behaviour was destructive. 

It does get easier with time, however as I've learnt it's very dangerous to get complacent with our recovery. 

Keep going ?