Well am back again. Trying to get out of this dark spiralling addiction of gambling. Once again I am in its grips. My name is alicia. I have always struggle with gambling. It always what I do if am stress,upset,down just any excuse to gamble. I had a tough couple of months. Not that its a excuse. But I got out of a domestic violence relationship when I was 2months pregnant and had to move. I had everyone involved from social serives to the police. The offender was the father of my lil boy. Was gambling before but with everything going out it spiral out of controled. I had to move to a different county and start again. Anyway I slowly got better and by better I mean buying what my baby wiill need and start slowly looking after myself. Before I would gamble every penny I had. Anyway I had my baby 12days ago. I been feeling very overwhelmed with doing it all alone as I have no family n my friends have their own life. Today I got paid and I gamble £200. It might not sound a lot but its really upset me as I think I could have treated my lil man. (He does not need anything as hes been spoilt aready) I just wish I had the will power to quit. I feel sooo weak and useless and like am a bad mother. I have already banned myself from almost every online casino at the moment and am banned from the acardes where I live. I did manage to quit by myself before for over 2years. Just needing some incentives. I look at my lil boy and I dont want to be a failer of a mum who gambles all the time. Just want to be the best mum I can be and happy without gambling ever again. Sorry for the long post. Just needed to get it off my chest. Hopefully by posting a daily log and everyone help il get through this. Thanks for reading x
Hey Alicia...welcome...and congratulations on your lovely sons birth...
You've been through a lot...on your own....and your baby is only days old....so I would say gibe gamcare a ring....they will go through the immediate things to help you....maybe your health visitor could be support...or a local homestart group if there's one around...your little man needs you honey..and I can see from your post that you went to be the best mum you can....stay close to here...lots of advice will be given...take care xx
Morning Alicia,
Congratulations on your new arrival and breaking away from an unhappy relationship. It takes guts to do that the same sort of guts it takes to come here and admit you have an issue with gambling.
Like loxxie said call Gamcare and talk it through with them they can offer support and advice and maybe some counselling.
Well done for for self excluding it would be with going one step further and blocking acces to this sites with either blocking software K9 is free, setting up broadband restrictions and some mobile providers can offer the same.
You say your alone which is touch especially with a newborn but if you keep coming on here you won't be alone you will get support and build up a network of friends.
You also say you are looking for inspiration but you've already got it with that bundle of joy you was blessed with 12 days ago.
Keep reading and posting on here it will get easier one day at a time.
KTF
Thank you so mich. Just writing the first message was a massive step for me. I have tried k9 but it doesnt let me block on my tablet. I dont know how to do the boardband restrictions. I will give gamecare a call. I have spome to them a few times before with regards to getting help and seeing someone. It all just got put on the back burner with all what was going on and to be honest I dont think I was ready to quit. My current gamecare help is in nottingham which is 20miles away from me. The meets are the same. I dont drive so struggling getting their but going to ring and see. I also go to a living without abuse group. So will be seeing if she has any support network that helps with gambling as I remember her saying they help with addiction aswell. I am ready to beat this addiction one way or the other. My lil boy needs a mum that he can be proud of. I want to be the best I can as he only has me atm. I do go to a baby group as oldham. Its just all getting their. Thanks your words have helpped a lot. Think am going to try doing a daily log. Tc x
Well done Alicia...maybe give your bb provider a ring love...they may have some tips...don't try to do everything at once....little steps are better ...or try to achieve one thing a day...snuggle up to that previous bundle of yours...and you will get through this x
Thanks loxxie. Going to ring them now. Thanks. Going to take one day at a time. Yeah my lil joy. He makes me want to be a better person. Hes fast asleep next to me as I write this :)x
Yeah...you go girl...let me know later how the call goes...I promise youll feel better for it...
And remember to try and enjoy the early days of mummy hood. ...there's nothing like it....well...what am I saying 50 odd years old....can remember 30 years ago....but can't remember we're I've just left my glasses ! Lol....keep looking at that little Prince...and be proud x
I rang my internet company. They dont do blocker. But I have rang my moblie andput the age restriction back on. So just having a look at the moment online on how to block on my kindle. I feeling a lot better now thanks. Just good to talk to someone who understand. Everyone think its easy as just stopping but its not. I wish it was. Thanks. I am trust me. I went through to much for him. Every day is a blessing. Just having cuddles with him now. Going to enjoy my lil bundle of joy. Lool ahh. X
Who is you internet provider?
Hey there, congratulations on the birth of your son, having someone learn lessons in life will only help to make his life easier and we all learn from mistakes, even if not right away, it's why we are here. I can imagine it's upsetting when money goes and you think what else that could have been used on, I do the same not that I have a child, but many other things I wish to pay for. Stating the obvious, we never consider this until afterwards and I feel like there is t much that stops our minds from blanking it out before we gamble, only afterwards. But that will stop as your fade away from gambling and as you become free you will be able to sit back and appreciate where else the money went, I did in the time I was addiction free. I watched a video and the sentiment may be of some use to you. It's called Addiction, on YouTube I think. Essentially a scientist discovered that addiction is not so much a chemical or hormone kind of condition, but is actually created by our surroundings. A happy person is less likely to be addicted. A person surrounded by positivity, people they can connect with, things that mak them happy will in turn result in a less troubled mind and less gambling
Oldhamktf wrote:
Who is you internet provider?
Fuel broadband. Its a new company.
L1J1W wrote:
Hey there, congratulations on the birth of your son, having someone learn lessons in life will only help to make his life easier and we all learn from mistakes, even if not right away, it's why we are here. I can imagine it's upsetting when money goes and you think what else that could have been used on, I do the same not that I have a child, but many other things I wish to pay for. Stating the obvious, we never consider this until afterwards and I feel like there is t much that stops our minds from blanking it out before we gamble, only afterwards. But that will stop as your fade away from gambling and as you become free you will be able to sit back and appreciate where else the money went, I did in the time I was addiction free. I watched a video and the sentiment may be of some use to you. It's called Addiction, on YouTube I think. Essentially a scientist discovered that addiction is not so much a chemical or hormone kind of condition, but is actually created by our surroundings. A happy person is less likely to be addicted. A person surrounded by positivity, people they can connect with, things that mak them happy will in turn result in a less troubled mind and less gambling
Thank you L1j1w. I agree I need so many things yet when am gambling I dont think about it. After I think what I could have done but also fine that am stingy on buying stuff yet I have gambled so much. I want to spend my money on my lil man giving him everything he needs. Ahh thanks hun. Will have a look at the vid and have a watch tomz. Its true when am happy I dont think about gambling. Just feel isolated quite abit at times. I can be in a room full of people but feel lonely. Just seems like am always fighting a battle. I done it for over two years before and that was by my self no group or anything so imagine what I can do with online help and the support. Thanks. Am so gald to have started to write on here. 🙂 x congratulations on beating it x
Hello Alicia1604
Welcome back to the forum and congratulations on the birth of your boy. You have already taken steps to ban yourself from online casinos and self –excluded from your local arcades and you plan to do a daily log here at the forum, you sound motivated and determined. I can see from what you say that it’s difficult for you to access your local counselling service in Nottingham. There is Gamcare’s Online counselling service where you can also have weekly counselling this could be a better option for you. Here is a link to the online counselling http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/free-counselling/online-counselling
You can apply online directly from our website or please do give the Gamcare helpline a call on 08 08 80 20 133 and an advisor can do a referral with you. You can also talk with an advisor through the net line. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline
Please also find further information on blocking software here http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VBwD8fldXww
Keep posting we are here to support you
Alicia..how's today going my love xx
Hi loxxie. Its going ok thank you. Had my hands a bit full as my lil man has a cold and is very clingy at the moment. Even when hes asleep am not allowed to put him down. The challenge will be tonight/tomorrow when I get paid of not going online. But am thinking I might just buy him a new outfit n a few bits for me instead of wasting it. Going to make sure I dont gamble no matter how hard. :). How are you?xx
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