Hi first time posting on here ,
I literally can not stop the online casinos I’m on gamstop but then I find a way and go on non gamstop sites . I put gam ban on my phone and learnt how to take that off . I just can’t believe how much control it has over me . I’ve rang for support and have a call with someone tomoz I’m just disgusted in my self the amount of money I’ve lost and the loans . I know I’ve seen on here people being encouraged to tell ther partners I absolutely can not do that it will break us . I do have a friend I talk to . I’m just so fed up and scared about payday because I say time and time again not doing it this time soon as money hits bank I’m off and even if win money back I can’t get off il gamble my every last penny then stay awake all night in panic and full of anxiety then spend the next day trying to get a loan I can’t believe how it’s got a hold of me . I’m disgusted in my self I really am .
Hi Chantelle
I am only 5 days GF and decided I wouldn’t write on anyone’s posts until I felt a little better but your entry resonated so much that I felt compelled to reach out.
I totally understand the cycle you’re in as I’m in the exact same boat. I have depleted mine and my partners finances to what feels like the point of no return. I’m drowning in loans and debt and yet I’d still sit up all night on the online slots spinning until I’ve lost everything. I can’t ‘win’ because nothing is ever enough anymore and I’ll just spin through any wins (no matter how big they are) until everything is gone.
My partners finances does no and is supportive in trying to help me but I feel so guilty as I’ve really messed his finances up too (as he’s kept trying to bail me out). The only way I see out of this is to just stop but also like you, I’m resourceful and always find ways around all blockers I put in place.
For now I’m staying close to this forum, I’m reading as many people’s stories as I can and I’m finding watching gambling documentaries on YouTube really helps.
Others have been where we are (worse than where we are) and still come out the other side now living fulfilling lives. We can too… The cravings/ urges to chase are severe right now and it feels like nothing will excite me as much or fill the ‘void’ of gambling but hoping this will get better.
i’ll check in on you daily and try to support you where I can.
Em x
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