Struggling to quit

Snap. Been there so many times. Like you I can’t believe how much I go back to something that makes me miserable! I blocked myself off all online then started going into the bookies, I am female to stand out like a sore thumb! This still doesn’t stop me it’s madness! I have the gamble monster in my head today it’s very hard to ignore although I am, I  currently surviving another day. It’s literally hour to hour/day to day. I need to accept I cannot gamble Full Stop. I convince myself I have control or I wil win once and never need to do it again!! Writing it down just now and reading this it’s so ridiculous especially because in a sensible and reasonable person until I am in the bookies. It’s actually heartbreaking. Let’s do this. 

@ash78 Yeah i know what you mean we convince ourselves we can control it, really we can't as how much would be enough to win and quit i know i don't know this figure well it doesn't exist. I never thought i would get hooked on slots, but a big win now and again makes you think another is round the corner and it really isn't and well you are always waiting for payday. I have a reasonable paid job but always skint , i just have to quit this time or it will go on forever . I really hate the fact that gambling is so available for all, addicts always find away i know i do. 

I wish you all the luck and well i am only hours into the journey of quitting but will take a day at a time till i can get into the weeks and months again.

@gh4inal03x it’s an addiction Full Stop. I hate myself, like you my wage is decent, I work hard then literally throw it away!! I have just realised that I deserve better, but deserve nice things and to not worry about money constantly. Gambling will not lead to anything positive. Getting rid of the constant ‘gamble monster’ goading me to gamble, once that lessens I know it will be an easier! Not easy whatsoever. This is the biggest challenge of our life’s with the biggest rewards. Thank you for support.

Try to change your focus on other things then maybe you leave this and spent on good things or help in your home

I could have written your post. It's so incredibly powerful it feels like I'm totally out of control. Feelings from pathetic and weak (never suicidal) and alone are feelings that come up alot for me.  I remember laughing at the Hollyoaks story years ago about Darren. Saying I'd never be like that. In all honesty I'm worse. It creeps up on you and gets you. I am banned from all land casinos l, and like yourself, the internet is my monster despite Gamstop. I'm here if you ever need a chat, as are many others. We all in the same storm. 

❤️

@xj0biw2zva Thank you, i think need to keep coming on here and reminding myself not to go back , haven't really had any urges but not really had any money in account to enable it. I just hate the way my mind goes when gambling comes around , logic doesn't come in to it at all.

just started my journey too , exactly the same feelings although like ash78 I will also go in the bookies , thing slot machines are the devils work . I can control sports betting , lotto etc but gaming machine’s absolutely destroy me every time . I think we all need to learn not to hate ourselves though as I think this just makes it worse . Paul merson has done some great interviews about his addictions and I would highly recommend you watch these , they explain about the feelings of a gambler but also goes in to how it’s an illness and doesn’t mean your a bad person . Good luck I hope you all succeed

This is so me and feel your pain and currently had a relapse. And no money in bank and every penny i get i play as think a big win is round the corner and that will answer the problems and then i dont need to confess to anyone. So angry with myself and a xomple6let down to my family and son. I dont know hiw we will eat next week, but that doesn't seem to stop me. Parents bailed me out once and i cant bear confessing again but i know ill need to xx

@pe6xtaw4df 

Thanks for sharing this. I can hear that you're going through a really difficult time - especially with your feelings of letting people down and concerns about how you will eat next week. 

An organisation that might be able to help you is the Trussell Trust. They offer information on food banks as well as providing additional support to help people resolve the crises they’re facing. You can find out more about their services on their website: https://www.trusselltrust.org/

It sounds like you're feeling quite trapped in a vicious cycle with the gambling and financial issues. I would really encourage you to get in touch with our Helpline if you'd like to talk. We will be able to give you further information on where you might be able to go for some financial support and also provide emotional support. We will listen to what is going on for you, and talk through options for support in your local area, online or over the phone. You can contact us for free 24/7 on 0808 8020 133 or chat online at https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/# .

We have also produced some money guidance factsheets on areas such as debt and these can be accessed here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/managing-your-money/

Wishing you all the best,

Ellen

Forum Admin