I have been gambling for around 4 years. I've lost a huge amount of savings, no longer own my own home and I am in massive debt. I gamble my salary and live on a tight budget because of it.
I had stopped for almost a yeast after blocking myself from sites. But in the past 2 months I have got myself into even more debt and its spiralling out of control again by trying to recoup what I've lost.
I'm lucky to have an amazing partner. He doesn't know it's resurfaced though as it would destroy us. But I've confided in him about my debt and he is there to support me while I try to pay it off.
I have lost all of my months pay and already thinking that when I get paid in 2 weeks I will gamble it to try to pay back my new debt. I tell myself the right things but still part of me knows what I'll do.
Hi Lizzy,
Welcome to the forum, you'll find a lot of good (and non-judgemental) advice here.
Well done for accepting you have a problem. You seem to accept that chasing your losses when you get paid is inevitable. I was exactly the same, I always had the best of intentions but as soon as I had cash I would be off like a shot to lose it again. What you need to do is not rely on your own willpower, it's a sad fact that good intentions aren't reliable enough to overcome a real addiction. Get some solid blocks in place before payday, download blocking software and limit your access to money. I know you feel you can't talk to your partner (although telling my wife was probably one of the best things I did) but try and confide in someone who can take control of your finances for you.
I'm not one for cliches but the 'triangle' analogy is spot on. Time, money and location (or variants thereof), take one away and you can't gamble. Location, in your case, is virtual so make sure your devices can't access sites. It's virtually impossible to TOTALLY block access to gambling but make it hard enough for yourself and you buy some thinking time. If you don't have money, you CAN'T gamble, being skint has never been so useful. Pay what you need to pay and ensure any other money is handed over to someone you can trust.
If you can't/don't want to hand financial control over then, as you gamble online, you can always withdraw any remaining funds as cash. If you do this, however, I recommend extra blocks such as self-exclusion from local bookies etc. Even if you have never played a FOBT or ventured into a bingo hall, addiction is a sneaky little critter and will look further afield if it can't get it's fix in the normal way.
Also, start a diary here and commit to posting regularly. Asides from getting advice and having a good outlet for your thoughts, all the time you're here you're not gambling.
All the best
Phil
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