Suicidal. MUST stop gambling

Hi, I think you need to take responsibility for you addiction once you do you can start to look at why you gamble, I gamble to escape stress of relationships and work, it's a bloody tough gig stopping gambling but you can do it be strong and have belief in yourself.

Hi - gambling in any real table game casino, where cards/numbers are truly random, where the house has an edge means that the longer you play the more certain it is you will lose. But worse for the electronic/online stuff, although we are told about random number they are instead, in my opinion, more likely programmed to pay out a certain % of what they take regardless of true table odds.

So given that it is mathematically certain that one cannot win by playing regularly (no one can at such games) why do you continue to play? Do you want to lose deep down and if yes maybe thats an issue you need to address?

Thanks for your responses guys.

If truth be told, I am not even sure why I gamble and gamble so much. It is almost as if it is just something I have always done.

I do accept the responsibility for my gambling as nobody forces me into a bookies shop. However,I still believe strongly that the bookmakers themselves could do more and that debit card transactions should be limited.

The government also needs to take stronger action. More and more shops with four terminals each is not helping people like myself to gain control.

Bob.

Hi Bob

Try not to focus on the government/bookies side of it all. This will just distract you from the real issue here - you have become a gambling addict and must stop. Whats done is done.

Focus all your energies on your own recovery and to get better.

Good luck!!!

Ben

Decent advice Ben. That is fair comment with regards to helping myself. However I do want to put some energy into the bookies/government thing so others in the future may not have to plumb the depths that I have.

Bob

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Hi Bob, welcome to the Forum,

I gambled for twenty years, losing around £350,000 before I stopped around six years ago. £250,000 of that was on FOBT's - I started more or less as soon as they came out.

You are quite right about self-exclusion my friend; it is not foolproof by an means, plus compulsive gamblers will always find a way to gamble if they really want to.

I have to echo the other comments about not letting your frustrations get in the way of focusing on you and your recovery. I felt the same, for a long time, but gambling itself is a self-destructive entity, and so is anger; it leads nowhere and no-one really gains.

The crucial part about FOBT betting is that you have an element of control before you start, no matter how powerful the urge is. Once you press that button to make that first spin, you are lost, and face a hopeless, impossible task to walk away.

On FOBT's, your best case scenario is losing. If you win, the euphoria will make you want to repeat the sensation within hours, maybe even minutes, which invariably leads to losing and then breaking into money you don't have. It will also make all previous, lower-level stakes meaningless - you will have reached a higher echelon, which means that you will want to experience those higher stakes and higher wins again. The reality of the situation is that winning is far more dangerous than losing.

I remember winning £7000 on FOBT's - my highest ever win. I booked into a nice hotel, had a good meal, had some drinks and then started to feel quite depressed, so I ended up losing £250.00 on Fruit Machines. I then went back to my hotel room, laid the notes all out on the bed and felt very depressed; I knew that I couldn't spend it, I knew I would never be able to buy anything - it wasn't real money.

Sure enough, I lost the lot the next morning. That was the beginning of the end for me - I had just had enough of risking everything to win money that I could never spend. We become masters of manipulation and deceit when we need to borrow money and survive financially, but we also become great liars to ourselves - we never want to believe this reality, we always convince ourselves that we can walk away when we want, or win enough to pay our debts and solve our problems - our dreams are based on a lie, an impossible lie.

Your only way out is time without gambling, and compulsive gamblers are not patient people, hence the amount of relapses there are. Set yourself some short term goals - the urges will lessen gradually to a point where working your way through them becomes second nature; take is one day, one hour at a time if needs be - remember that, however strong the urge, they are only ever temporary.

My heart goes out to you my friend. I have had many dark thoughts and walked many miles in your shoes - there is a way out, but it will take time and dedication on your part. Be strong, be positive my friend - you can get there, you really can.

JamesP

Hi bob, unsure that i can help in anyway as i too fell prey to the FOBT`s and (They are designed to make you think your getting close to a win ....hence we all chase with bigger and bigger desperation bets...leading to....well we`ve most of us been there).As well as Horses/Dogs/Sports etc other forms of gambling. I listened to the Jon Grant speech on 2012 gamcare conference this has helped me to understand how `we` think and why perhaps some of us get ourselves into the situations that we do.

Good luck in your recovery.

Simon.

Hi Bob

I always find Christmas and New Year stressful and agree with what your saying about having time on your hands makes it worse. What I've done is write down how I feel immediately after losing and read it back when I feel the temptation to gamble. Worth a try x

Thanks Elle,

I have suggested on another post somewhere on the skte a similar idea.

Try to remember my very worst experiences over the years, put them in writing and refer to them every time I have the urge to gamble.

I have even thought about putting the worst ones on here for all to see!

Hi I'm new, I've blamed everything but it's me. Willpower zero x