Taking the first step

Hello Helfall,

I have felt sick confronting the issue when discussing it with people. Usually it is my Mother who I confide my secret gambling addiction. My girlfriend knew I had gambled in the past however I didn’t tell her of my recent activities until yesterday. How did I do it? I kinda just blurted it out and said that I had been extremely silly and wasted funds that we were going to use for our holiday and the car insurance. Yesterday I also spoke to two of the guys I work with about my gambling addiction and felt a whole lot better getting it out there.

You can’t go back and unwrite what you have done, just move forward and try and do better. You may fail however that’s ok too.

After a discussion with the Gamcare team i decided to put things in place to block me from gambling. I am only on day 4 however my outlook is a lot more positive not only in my need to gambling but life in general. This weekend I spent time focussed on my time with my son and enjoying the moments instead of binge gambling and feeling down and out after losing.

I explained this to her and we worked through the problem.

Hopefully your Husband can understand and help you through this difficult time.

CJ.

Thank you CJ I know I will feel better once I've told him it's just being brace enough taking that step

Talk more on here and see how others have broached it with their other halves. I think it’s a bit like ripping a plaster off and once you’ve done it you feel relieved and wonder why you couldn’t do it before 🙂

CJ.

Hi Helfall and welcome to the forum :)).

If I've learnt anything since I've been here it's that " Honesty " is always the best policy as it allow's addiction nowhere to hide.

It's a difficult thing to do though sitting and having a conversation about our secret live's with someone who we're not supposed to have those secrets from and of course there's no way of knowing how that news will be recieved but trust me If you do have that conversation it will be the last gamble you'll ever need to have and far easier if you have the support of your partner for the journey ahead .

I haven't gambled for over 3 yrs since having that conversation and it really did bring all the support I've needed along the way .

I know for you it's early day's but as many on here will testify it does get easier and very much better :)) .

All the best for now

Alan

I can't advise you the best way to do it because I'm not the gambler in the house. I can however virtually guarantee you though that your husband would much, much rather know than not and sooner rather than later. There's not going to be a good time so try not to make excuses and there may be some bruising conversations but I can't think of anyone here who has regretted taking the step.

If you really can't bring yourself to tell him face to face how about a letter?

Thank you all, today I have ripped the plaster off! So it is all out there, told my husband, my dad my aunt as these are the people closet to me, it has been hard and right now I'm not feeling any better as I know I have disappointed them all. My husband is angry and with good reason, we both work really hard and I've just been wasting our hard earned money. It can only get better from here now it is all out there!

Thanks again for your comments I know I'm not alone in this x