Hi, I'm new to the forum and wanted to ask if anyone else is in the same boat of having too much time alone and on their hands to fill - and how not to resort to gambling to pass the time? I have a partner who works long hours so I am on my own for 12 hours a day - I cannot work for the forseeable future because of an ongoing health problem. Gambling is an outlet that makes me feel better/ good at something (even though I do lose, 'getting'it right' makes me feel competant at something) but increasingly I feel it controls me rather than me controllling it. I have had some online and telephoning counselling. Whilst it made me realise I am compulsive I could not in all honesty make my goal to stop completely as it just did not seem realistic/ attainable or honest. So I said I wanted to aim at cutting down, being in control and not spending all my money - and maybe not all my time. But my key problem is that I have time on my hands- so much of it I don't know how to fill it properly in a positive way.I suffer from depression and winning does lift my mood as it would for anyone. Does anyone out there feel like they have too much time on their hands and feel the same - and has any ideas how to approach this problem and combat it? It may seem a silly reason to gamble - obviously when I win it makes me feel like I am good at something and boosts my self esteem - and up until I had the councelling I did not feel as guilty or as anxious as I do now.I guess I am finally seeing it as a destructive thing. It has effected my relationship with my better half - we don't actually talk a bout it really - but he is aware I have this problem, but I'm not sure if he realises the extent of the problem - but he does know about it. I realise the gambling controls me not the other way round.I feel terribly out of control when I lose and then go and get more money out to chase losses until I have (usually) used it all up in a very short space of time. Stopping still seems a long way off - I have not been at all sucessful at it - only stopping if I am honest when I have no money at all - so I can't indulge in it anyway - and at those times the day just seems so long and I am marking the time till I next have funds to gamble again. I really admire those of you who have stopped and are counting up the days you have been free of this addiction. Is there anyone else like me who has the feeling they can't stop and want to reduce the time and money expended rather than stop - and has anyone found this a possibility; or is it just not a realistic goal? Please reply if you can help me by sharing your experiences. Thank you.
I stopped because I lost so much in just under 3 years about 90k and I one day I broke down and I know I will never see that money again.with time and as days pass it gets easier no one forgets the headache gambling brings and finaciall ruin. Be strong don't gamble it's not easy but I lost so much I nearly committed sucide but I am still here. Give controll to your money to a loved one and live each day as it comes. All gamblers die broke so let's not add to that list. Take care stay strong and positive.
Hello and welcome to the Forum,
There are so many things you could be doing with your time. However, you are choosing to gamble because it gives you a false sense of confidence. Winning may make you feel good in that moment but when you are addicted to gambling you experiences a lot of loss too. Think about your interests or look out for new things to learn. Set a goal for yourself to save towards. Something you really want to do for yourself or someone else and put your money towards it. Get a real sense of achievement.
The possibilities are endless…
Trying to control gambling when you have an addiction is almost pointless, as you are still feeding it. The best strategy is to stay away. There will be times that you give in but as long as your aim is to stop, you can remain focused on your recovery. It seems impossible now but you can build up your confidence too, like other members here, by valuing every day you are free from it.
Best wishes,
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