Hi
When I walked in to the recovery I did not know what to expect, Were they going to stop me gambling, would it get my money I lost back.
In time in the recovery program I would understand that the gambling did not control me.
The recovery program I would help understand that I went the gambling establishment were the places I escaped to when I could not cope with my emotional triggers.
My addictions indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable.
I was not a bad person, I was not evil, I was not stupid, I was not a weak person, I was very simply emotionally vulnerable.
When I would escape I would lie, I would lie to myself and others.
My fear of being honest started for me from a very early age, as a child when ever I was asked to be honest I was punished for it.
Only once I was able to abstain from just one unhealthy habit the gambling I would in effect stop causing myself and others pains and fears.
The question where do you run to when your gambling choice has been taken away from you.
Hence often people will exchange one unhealthy habits for another unhealthy addiction or another unhealthy obsessions.
Only once we abstain from unhealthy can the healing process begin.
For me I had an inner child who was still living in a lot of pain.
Only once the self abuse stops can the healing process begin.
Often money and gambling were the topics we get fixated on, once we cross the invisible line from talking war stories to talking about how vulnerable we are will we expose more about our self, but more importantly will the fears reduce in us and the trusts start to grow.
Why the important of therapies, before recovery I could not articulate my feelings and my emotions.
By sharing in our therapies we both see and feel our self in other people, but we start to understand our self even more.
The recovery program is about healing our pains, once we take recovery seriously we move from saying right wrong good bad we start to understand what is health and what is unhealthy, to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits for our self.
Only once I respect myself can I respect all other people.
Only once I love myself can I love all other people.
Only once I value myself can I value all other people.
Only once I have empathy for myself can I have empathy for all other people.
Only once I have patience and tolerance for myself can I have patience and tolerance for all other people.
The simple question is how much do I value my recovery.
How much time and effort am I willing to invest in to myself and my recovery today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
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