Today marks the beginning of my acknowledgment of an addiction and my realization that I need assistance. In the past few days, I've struggled to accept this reality because it wasn't glaringly obvious from my perspective. I erroneously believed that a gambling addiction was confined to betting websites and casino games, and that my own addiction, centered around financial markets and forex (FX), was merely a constructive passion that would eventually lead me to financial success. Unfortunately, my "constructive passion" has led to the loss of everything around me, leaving me with loan debts, no means to repay them due to unemployment, and heightened suicidal thoughts.
My journey to recovery will undoubtedly be arduous, even though the path ahead remains unclear. Despite my current uncertainty, I'm aware that I'm not alone, and help is available. With this in mind, I've chosen to document my journey in case there are others who may be facing similar struggles and feeling isolated. My first video is now available on YouTube. It's not intended to be inspirational; it's simply a brief glimpse into the harsh reality that many people, including myself, endure.
Hello JERMZ
Thank you very much for posting on our forum and sharing the first stages of your recovery journey. It sounds like you’ve been reflecting a lot on your gambling behaviour so a massive ‘well done’ for recognising you could do with some assistance.
I can hear how much loss you’ve experienced and the impact this is now having on your life. It sounds incredibly painful to feel so much uncertainty along with suicidal thoughts. Despite all you’re facing, it seems you still have hope that things can change for the better. And you’re right – you are definitely not on your own with all this.
If you would like further support, our Helpline (0808 8020 133) and our 1:1 Livechat are both open 24 hours every day. We also offer a money guidance service if you would like some support around your financial situation – you can phone our Helpline for more info on this.
Samaritans can support you if you are struggling with thoughts of suicide: https://www.samaritans.org/ Tel: 116 123.
It is great to hear you’ve found a way to document your journey – hearing others’ experiences can be so powerful and can definitely help people feel less alone.
Wishing you well and hope to hear more updates from you on here as your journey progresses.
Ellen
Forum Admin
Hi there. I can relate to your situation and I for one will be following your recovery going forwardÂ
With me it was Aim shares and crypto as you said I even fooled myself over more than 20 years that I was a learned professional at trading 😚 it’s a wonder I never woke up t to o the grinding losses which are incalculable  Â
Nevertheless let’s get battling back and do some real good in this world together we are stronger use all tools and keep switched on. Best
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