Hi everyone
I’m reading so many positive and encouraging posts here, I want to thank everyone for sharing their journey’s.
I am a 40 year old women. I have been gambling for exactly 10 years. It all started just before I got married. I would sometimes play a bit of online bingo. A few weeks before my wedding I had a ‘flutter’ and I won xxxx. This for me was the point everything went downhill. If I was short of money one month, or needed to buy something I would have a gamble thinking I could make easy money. This is where the losses of course started, and the chasing of losses continued.
The last 10 years have been horrendous. I have a wonderful husband and children, a loving family and lots of great friends. But I am a shell of my former self.
Over the last 10 years I’ve had a mental breakdown (for which I’m now medicated to stop the anxiety and depression getting out of control again) I am £25,000 in debt, and the time I’ve lost which should have been spent with my kids I’ll never get back. Each month I spend my wages within a few days. I live in a constant state of panic, self loathing, disgust, and despair. I work extremely hard, and thinking about how many years of wages have gone into this addiction is mind numbing. The main thing is time I’ve lost when I should have been putting my family first.
I have self excluded for 5 years on Gamstop after losing my wages yet again (this time within 24 hours of being paid) I’ve tried to stop on numerous occasions. The longest I lasted was 5 weeks. I can only think that deep down I’ve never been ready or wanted to truly stop. I know my family should be the only thing I need to make myself stop, but not even that has been enough.
I’m going to look at counselling for this addiction this time around. But I still don’t trust myself. I almost feel a sense of relief when I’ve lost all my money, as I then can’t play and it gets me out of the fixated gambling state.
I would love to hear from others with long term gambling additions, and what helped the most in terms of retraining your brain. I know I’m not old but I really feel this time is now or never. I have to sort my life out once and for all
I’ve been gambling for around 7 years on and off. I’ve been gamstopped 3 times but Ive always removed it once the exclusion period ends thinking I don’t have a problem anymore. Well I removed it 2 days ago and I’ve added a new one today. Lost all my pay in 2 days chasing loses. I don’t think this addiction even goes away and that urge to win and release dopamine into your brain will always be there. I do it as an escape from reality and play just to play, doesn’t matter if they pay me thousands I’m likely to play it. It’s so silly. I hope you’re okay, you’ll get there. Ask your husband to manage your money until you’re ready 💜
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