2014 Challenge

hey guys checking in at day 25 which is a decent start and grateful my relapse wasnt disastrous 😀 so hang in there people we are beating this scam addiction

Evening all, quick gamble free check in as the Internet is poor at the moment where I am. Have a good weekend folks.

Mike

Checking in day 47. Really rubbish week but got through clear and hoping for better next week. As long as I stay away from gambling hopefully things will improve. Strength and best wishes to all.

Evening all. It has been a funny old week with a fair bit of soul searching. I have been trying to decide whether I have made sufficient progress in addressing my compulsive behaviour to allow me to gamble socially. I have been back at the casino with friends and again managed not to let the gambling demons take over. I do not feel that doing this was a set back in my recovery. I feel strong. I have been considering life without Gamcare and this challenge. Would I continue to feel strong? Would I manage to refrain from compulsive behaviour? The answer I have wrestled out of the week is I don't know and I am not prepared to take the risk. I have emailed my friends this evening asking them to count me out in future telling them the casino is not really my thing. A lie, I love the casino, but greater good and all that. I am checking in on Day 1 and hoping you will still have me. I have two great gambling memories which don't cancel out all the bad ones but are nice to add to the tally. I am abstaining now through choice rather than necessity and I hope that is a major step in my recovery.

Quick check in for me before I head to bed. Early start in the morning heading of to Dublin to watch the gaa. Any of yous got ** *** should check it out great sport 🙂

No crisis. Good to hear you managed a social night out without the compulsive gambling taking control. Take care though your comment of not gambling through choice not necessity is fine now but my recent double slip all stemmed from a tiny bet which I had thinking it was harmless but set the wheels rolling to much pain and heartache.

Checking in on day 164.

I have a banging head after a night OTP with my brother and i am just about to go on a bike ride to add insult to injury! Wish me luck.

Checking in on day 164.

I have a banging head after a night OTP with my brother and i am just about to go on a bike ride to add insult to injury! Wish me luck.

Thanks for the warning MileEnd. I completely agree with you. I reckon we learn to manage our compulsive behaviour. I don't think it ever truly leaves us. That is why today is Day 2 and I am determined to abstain.

Good morning team!

We’ve arrived at the end of August and tomorrow will head into the last third of 2014 - if this was a 4x100 metre relay then the third leg would be almost at the point of handing the baton to the anchor with the finishing line in sight. Talking of anchors, can I extend a huge thanks to everyone who have been posting regularly and supporting the rest of the troops through the week. There’s been some brilliant posts - Mama B, Wolf57, Lady Baggins, triangle, Elfie and Glads Dad to name a few.

I’ve had another stressful and hectic week, hence the reason for no activity on these pages for me. It’s really obvious that your thoughts and prayers have helped significantly again this week - my nephew’s mum is making good progress, has been moved out of the high dependency unit of the hospital in Edinburgh and into a rehabilitation ward in a hospital much closer to home. While it’s still hard work ferrying the wee man to school and to hospital on a daily basis, there is a light at the end of the tunnel now and hopefully life will get back to some sense of normality over the next few weeks. Work is mental - the boss is off for another week and I’m heading to Dublin on Tuesday for a couple of days………so when I’ve caught up after that I’m hoping my contribution to these pages can ramp up a bit and I can feel as if I’m fulfilling my role within the group. I’ve really missed it and to an extent feel a bit disconnected from the team. So this week’s update is underpinned with hope and re-establishing the connection rather than the uncertainty of the last couple of weeks.

While watching the Challenge in the background this week and being less involved, it’s been easier to really read the posts and listen to what the soldier is saying…..rather than thinking about what a potential response could be. It’s helped see themes and trends in the group as well as spot some of the subtleties of our addiction. It’s very evident that the journey we go on is bespoke, however, there is a point in every journey that complacency sets in. There isn’t a standard time that this happens - but it happens in all of us…..albeit, the consequences are very different depending on our ability to recognise it, arrest it and accept that we cannot and will not ever beat it. If you all wouldn’t mind humouring me with a few paragraphs of management theory then I’ll try to bring to life what I’m trying to say………….hopefully it’ll land with you!

Every one of us is going through a major change in our lives. A standard change cycle sees the individual who is going through the change work through 4 phases starting with denial and moving through resistance, followed by acceptance and then into normality. Essentially you deny you have to change, you resist the change, you accept the change and then the change becomes your new way of life and you move on. If the way you feel going through the change is plotted on a graph and sits on the y axis, with time on x axis, the change curve is a symmetrical line that can be folded on itself right at the lowest ebb at the half way point on the journey. Typically you feel ok at the denial and when the change becomes normal, but the phases of resistance and accepting the change see your mood about the change plummeting. It’s all downhill while we resist and an uphill battle to accept…………in a very primitive way it looks like this ~/~

I know I don’t have to explain the first couple of phases - it’s the acceptance and normality phase that I’ve seen being the biggest challenge over the last few weeks……..and the realisation from a personal standpoint that I don’t think I’ll ever reach a truly “normal” stage when it comes to my addiction……….the normality is that I will always have a want to gamble and I will always have to have the infrastructure propping up my life that prevents me slipping back down the curve into that point of being at my lowest ebb………and having to slog through the uphill battle of accepting this time and time again. But do you know………as long as I know that, I accept it, I tune into my feelings and triggers, am honest with myself and maintain my determination to stay clean then that normality is manageable. Complacency isn’t something that can be predicted or even recognised as a behaviour……..it’s the thought processes and the behaviours that come from that thinking that we can guard ourselves against. I’ve had them a lot recently……….”if I were to nip into the bookies with only a tenner on me and put it on a football coupon just to give me a bit of extra interest then that’s not going to do any harm is it?”………..”I’ve come so far now that I’d be able to control my actions if I went into a bookies”………….”my money situation is looking so much better now that I can afford to lose twenty quid and who knows, I might win a few bob to be able to treat myself to something, or really set me up to save a bit more this month”………I could go on, but I know that you know where I’m coming from………change a few words around and I have a huge level of confidence that you’ve all had those thoughts. The thoughts don’t do the damage, it’s the actions and the behaviours on the back of them that will determine our outcomes……….and whether we remain in the safety of continued abstinence or slip back down into the trough of the middle of that change curve and the self-loathing that comes with being in that place. On a personal level, I know that I don’t have the control when it’s started…….win, lose or draw. Quite simply, I cannot win because I cannot stop. I guess my other learning about myself is that I’m so competitive that I cannot accept that I cannot win……which makes me keep going until I reach oblivion.

Our surveys have told us that there are core support systems we can use and really must use so that when complacency hits us and we ask ourselves the types of questions I’ve posed myself recently there is the safety net of the controls we have in place. Self-exclusion, blocking software, financial restrictions, this web site and challenge page, applying the triangle, turning up the volume on family and life to drown out the gambling music being just some of them. Have you maintained your prevention barriers so that when complacency and temptation comes, you have something that forces you to take a step back and really think about it? Do you really want to slip back into that trough with the feelings of self-loathing, financial ruin, inability to look in the mirror and like yourself and let’s not forget about that “punch in the stomach non alcohol induced hangover pit” that you know you have f%$ked up once again?

I’m not sure where this has got me to in terms of the change curve…….or indeed whether it’s stretched your thinking or made you challenge yourself about the maintenance of your barriers or to recognise when complacency is setting in………but I’m going to stop rambling now and move onto the update in the hope that it’s at least helped one of you to challenge yourself to do something differently today or this week that prevents you falling and slipping back into that hole.

Onto the update…….included this week are headlines, monthly numbers, milestones, welcome a new member and the roll of honour. Next week I’m going to launch the “volume” check - this is a long enough update as it stands already. The results can then be published before the end of September. I’m going to make a couple of changes that make my job easier this week - the milestones will only be the ones celebrated in the week - I’ll take your feedback, but those close to me that read the update always skim past the milestones and I often wonder if you guys do the same? Here goes then……….

Headlines this week……..

We’ve ended the week with the same amount of soldiers that we started it with, albeit the makeup of the 36 current soldiers has shifted. 32 of the original list have made it back safely, with the 4 who have missed check in being replaced with a mix of new and returning soldiers. This gives us a week on week retention of 89%. As a group we’ve collectively stopped for 12 years and are each carrying an average of 125 days of freedom with us on our journey. This coming week could be the point in time that the challenge breaks through the half a million pounds of money saved versus the gambling industry although we’d need a fair wind to do it! We have 17 members of the team who are on a run of more than a hundred consecutive days of abstinence…….this week could see those 17 joined by another 4 and push us over the 50% mark of all soldiers being in the Century Club!

The Month of August………

With today being the last day of the month, here’s the summary of where we are -

28 of the group managed to get through August without gambling - 78% of us! That’s slightly lower than the last few months so let’s target ourselves to get to 85% of the group being clean in September. The current group have a total of 138 gamble free calendar months, or exactly 11.5 years of worry free living!

5 of the team are still Clean for ’14 - congratulations to Del79, Scambling, Happy Days, richy and Mr Brightside. Two thirds of the way there guys!

3 of the team have now gone 6 consecutive calendar months free from gambling - amazing going hitthefan, ToBeOrNot and triangle!

6 soldiers celebrate 3 consecutive calendar months, or quarter of a calendar month year clean for the first time - outstanding work mjc1974, help2604, Daz71, john64, D70 and fitzy!

Finally, a huge congratulations to ccw85 and markieb10 who have just come through the full month of August without gambling - the first full month is a significant milestone guys - proud of you fellas and hope you and the families are too!

Welcome back and new soldier welcome……..

Great to see Matty21, GamAddict and onlineplayer coming back to the fold this week and let’s all extend a massive welcome to our newest member CannaeWin - Scottish I presume? You’re already a couple of weeks on the journey - thanks so much for making the commitments - I’m looking forward to seeing regular check ins and watching you slowly liberate yourself from this horrible addiction!

Milestones Celebrated this Week

Here are the names and milestones reached for our brothers in arms this week……..

Hitthefan broke through 30 weeks of abstinence this week - absolutely amazing HTF……it’s brilliant to see how far you’ve come soldier!

Daz71 became the newest member of the Century Club - welcome to the triple digit group Daz - pwoud mate!

John64 and mjc1974 both waltzed past the quarter of a year mark……and by this time next week will both be members of the Century Club - great going soldiers!!

Pinky333 has now reached double digits of weeks free and is getting close to the run of big milestones leading up to the Century Club! Woop woop girl!

There’s lots of milestones coming up to be celebrated this week - looking forward to seeing soldiers posting on their big days!

The Roll of Honour……..

Here are the soldiers who are marching in the group right now and the days clean from gambling -

Name Clean Days

bornagain 2

Happy Days 262

lostafortune 177

Mr Brightside 266

Del79 384

rst187togo 6

Hitthefan 211

luckygirl 136

Baggins 182

ToBeOrNot 191

triangle 171

Scambling 267

NoCrisis 23

ringerbell 171

delboygolf 164

Gladsdad 148

Pinky333 76

help2604 117

Shorty8 162

Daz71 105

John64 93

D70 99

Mileend 21

Fitzy 98

Wolf57 87

richy 244 294

onlineplayer 80

StoneRoses 10

Elfie17 69

Matty21 5

GamAddict 26

SuzyLemon 80

markieb10 48

mjc1974 96

ccw95 31

CannaeWin 14

Drum roll………total days free of gambling since the Challenge began……….

9588 Days = 0.4794 million GBP in our pockets………………..0 GBP in the bookies!!!

That’s the update for this week then folks…….and once again congratulations if you’ve got this far without falling asleep!

My final word is to my ambassador of qwan, my right hand man, my good friend and “bang the world to rights” buddy……..bornagain. Phil, you are an absolute star mate, take Friday as a very cheap lesson as to the dangers and pitfalls of the journey. I know you want it mucker - turn up the life volume again and drown out the cr** that is gambling. Always here for you.

Have an absolutely amazing, family filled, laughter filled, blessed and wonderful week everyone!

Mr Brightside

checking in today on 171

thanks for the update mr B and well done to all those soldiers walking the walk

keep it up

have a tops day

Tri

Checking in

Forgot how many days but 04/09 will be 6 months

I was busy with my family and started an accountancy courses doing well at the moment

Keep the faith

Hi Mr B

Checking in on day 69.

Very glad things are getting better for you. Excellent post. Although I have the necessary barriers in place I realise that I cannot be complacent as a slip up can happen at any time. I wonder if a time will come when all thoughts of gambling are gone and our brain is re-programmed to the same as a non-gambler. Or is this not reversible? I know some ex-smokers who say they never craved a cigarette at all and others who have given up for years and say they still crave them all the time.

Well done to my fellow soldiers, I am proud to march beside you all.

Elfie x

Hi mr Brightside and the rest of the soldiers. My names Gary, im 30 years old and have been a problem gambler for as long as i cam remember.

As far back as being 13-14 i cam remember having a gambling issue and over the years i have tried many different ways to overcome my problem. When i was 16 my mother took me to GA as it was evident even to my family members that's i was a heavy gambler. Being so young at the time i didn't really appreciate the benefits of attending GA and how it could help me so i stopped going after only a couple weeks as i thought i could sort out my problem myself...how wrong was i? Over the years my gambling has been on and off but in the last 2 years it has rapidly got worse and where before i had a issue with fruit machines it now is a problem with machines,casinos and bookmakers. Anything really that u think u can make a win on. Ive also lost a lot over the last 2 years with splitting up from my long term partner who i have a young son with, losing my dad and dealing with depression.

Ive came to gamcare for support as i have recently turned 30 and look back on the last 10-15 years with regret and what i had missed out on with having a gambling problem. A lot that has happened i can put down to gambling being a factor in it somewhere. I don't want to carry on and regret the next 10-15 years with dealing with the same problems. Ive beat an addiction before by giving up smoking ( not had a smoke for over 8 years now ) and believe i can also beat gambling. Ive this week contacted GA about attending a meeting and see this as being the 1st step towards beating gambling. It is the 1st time i have went to seek help myself rather than been led. I would also like to take part in the 2014 challenge so i can receive and give support to fellow sufferers trying to beat this horrible addiction.

Hi Mr B, forgot to thank you for checking me in while I was on holiday, sorry I didn't follow through with my abstinence. I just remembered about the whole volume thing and realised that gambling was outweighing everything when I had my relapse, I should try to drown it out with the positives I have gained from staying clean. Here's to being clean for the rest of 2014 and 2015.