Finally I get to use a film title of a film I love. I'm a huge Jason Statham fan.
I don't think I need to explain the film title relationship to the topic and I wanted to write down a bit about the chaos I experienced.
So it obviously wasn't there all the time and built up over the years. That's not to say the first 30 years weren't chaotic but nothing like when I went online only. Physical gambling in bookies and on race courses was painfully but not chaotic or not too bad. When I was going to casinos, the lack of sleep and late nights was certainly damaging and got some reason that's why I stopped. Now I'm not saying yeah everyone does or doesn't experience chaos through gambling as it creeps into anyone's life in different ways but for me, I stopped playing fruit machines or slots years ago as well as going to casinos. Then in 2015 I decided I could hide gambling by only betting online through apps. The same old story I've heard many times....I got sent an email promotion for free spins if I bet a certain amount on football. Not surprisingly the free spins were on a highly addictive slot and then the chaos began. All spare time was used playing slots and the same series of slots. Five decent jackpots solidated that side of the addiction to these slots. When I wasn't playing slots I had the reels running through my mind. When I was asleep I was dreaming about them. I started having figures and equations running in my head, over and over again. I started to believe I was autistic like my son. I don't know how I functioned at all. I can't imagine the damage I was doing to my mental health but perhaps recognise that now. What would have happened if I didn't stop when I did ? Prison, insanity or death as per GA I guess.Â
The weirdest thing is that when I stopped last year the chaos stopped immediately. I'm not saying it was snowdrops and sunshine with birds singing but that Chaos just stopped. The relief was amazing and the reels and numbers running in my head literally stopped once I self excluded and said thats it Stuart, no more and you won't ever place a bet again.
We are all amazing people, and I'm so thankful brains can repair over timeÂ
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