2015 Challenge

Hi Steve (MehGameOver), so we can start this off as day one. I will add you to front page and check you in for this week. The early days are hard so try to make full use of this forum, we are all on different stages of the same journey, stay strong and keep checking in. It would also be useful to know what forms of gambling you struggle with.

Just need to clarify something before I go to bed as its playing on my mind a little. I have just enlisted two members to the challenge and just asked two other potential members for a check in before I sign them up. I hope this doesn't appear to be unfair, its simply because I need a count of gamble free days in order to include a new soldier in this weeks update. Anyone who makes an introduction on here and includes a count of days gamble free will be added to the challenge and checked in for that week. Without a count I will have to ask for another post before I sign you up and check you in. Everybody is welcome!

Morning all. What a turn out, great to see so many people fighting back against their addiction. I'm really hopefull for 2015. It really has to work this year with plenty of debt and plans for a family there really is no room for mistakes. I hope this thread can drive me on.

Day 5 for me. It's good to be back on the wagon!

Hi Phil,
thank you. Anything really, poker, blackJack football, roulette anything that involves gambling.

Steve

Hi all, checking in on day 18 today, feeling really low. I have no desire to gamble at all, but can't clear the fog and depression at the moment. Last year I only really gambled 4 times and thought I was pretty much ok (went happily from Easter to December). Got drunk in December, went to the casino, and then panicked about what I had done and how it would affect my year. Ended up losing more in 3 days than I have lost in one go ever before, all chasing this drunken night out. Every time I get close to paying off my debts I have a disaster, and feel ashamed of myself. However unlike previous occasions, this fog isn't clearing, and I can't tell my loved ones.

sorry for the misery post, hope everyone is having a better start to the week than me!!

Hi All new soldiers and welcome back those Ihave marched with in 2014 - a gamble free 220 days and counting [for me on Sat PM].

Great opening Phil and excellent first update. Seems a seamless exchange of baton between Mr B and your good self! And it must be working well as the ranks are swelling - i know Mr B's cautious comment regarding good intent in Jan only to slip along the coming days and regress into old habits. And i re-iterate those words folks, be aware of the demons, you may slip, you may fall, but as Phil says, pick yourself up, dust down, virtual slap yourself and start again, there are many on this march and in past challenges [personal or otherwise] who have had several "Day 1's" in their gambling lives - me included!

It can be done ~ by setting up your personal gamble free rules, [see the first BornAgain post here and Mr B's last update post on the 2014 challenge for some great advice and ideas on what to do that really assist withmaintaing a gamble free futute] but being honest with yourself and all those around you is vital!

Anyways - enough of that and just wanted to add that I will be GF after 7 months on 6th January but just as importantly, I am gamble debt free as from today when i made my last payment to my partner who bailed me out [again] and whom without this march and journey would have been oh so much of a struggle!!

That feeling of pain, guilt and being so very ashamed led to the 'how do I tell her I did it again' day which led to the actual telling day - and my last day of gambling on 6th June 2014! What an overwhelming sense of relief, even despite the recriminations, loss of trust, being micro managed financially since etc - but thats what it took for me to place myselves at the mercy of others and seek help.

So whatever day it is for you - in my mind every day is another "Day 1" in recovery - good luck for 2015.

Phil - the telephone list is a good idea, a bit like the buddy system they run at GA, although not everyone is going to be a required to be a good councellor, I think at some point in recovery, all you want is to talk to someone who has been there and knows how you feel without judgement! I am lucky I can talk to my partner about any days where I am struggling or have urges, I just tell / text her and just by the fact that she knows and is aware, it's enough now for me to walk away from the urges and buck myself up as I can not ever afford to let her down again!

Anyway - enough rambling, and I will end by wishing every one a happy gamble free 2015 - good luck all fellow marchers, and especially to Phil [who has to stay to do all 52 updates!!]

Kind regards, Cliff

Hi Phil

I would love to join the 2015 challenge I'm fairly new to the forum joined in November 2014 so am unfamiliar with the 2014 version.

My name is Dave I'm 33 years old and been a compulsive gambler for around 18 years. My betting habit was mainly sports betting the main 2 been football and horses both online and in betting shops.

Today is day 52 on my road to recovery and I'm determined to have a full year with no gambling at all.

Many thanks

Dave

Hello! Thank you for taking over the thread Bornagain , much appreciated. Welcome to all the newcomers and returning members. Christmas and New Years have passed in an absolute blur with no time at all for thoughts of gambling.

Back to reality (work) today so time to be careful. I will get through 2015 gamble free. Day 108 so far.

gingermotty wrote:

Hi all, checking in on day 18 today, feeling really low. I have no desire to gamble at all, but can't clear the fog and depression at the moment. Last year I only really gambled 4 times and thought I was pretty much ok (went happily from Easter to December). Got drunk in December, went to the casino, and then panicked about what I had done and how it would affect my year. Ended up losing more in 3 days than I have lost in one go ever before, all chasing this drunken night out. Every time I get close to paying off my debts I have a disaster, and feel ashamed of myself. However unlike previous occasions, this fog isn't clearing, and I can't tell my loved ones.

sorry for the misery post, hope everyone is having a better start to the week than me!!

I know how you feel, last year I was on a long run without gambling but I had lots of hidden debts and secrets, I started to lose interest in my recovery and the dark thoughts took over my mind and ultimately I ended up gambling again. Its hard telling our loved ones that we've messed up again, but I believe the only way forward is to be honest with ourselves and others. Once everything is out in the open you will feel better and can put a plan in place to clear the debts. Throughout 2014 I was repaying 1000 a month which really crippled me but part of a gambling addicts recovery will always involve paying off debts and we need to find a way not to let that bring the urge to go for that 'big win' that we think will fix things, but in reality will lead to thousands more debts.

dot83 and Taxi man you have been added to the challenge and checked in for this week. Its brilliant to see the numbers increasing and to have so many early check ins. paulll has hit 50 days today so well done mate, theres going to be many many more as the year goes by. I'm sure that on that day in June you didn't think you would find yourself early in 2015 reaching 7 months gamble free wolf57, so a big congratulations on that!

Thanks for the comment bornagain. I have a lot of equity in my flat and a small(ish) loan will cover off my debts and give me a fresh start. A part of me feels that I deserve to be punished more and therefore shouldn't do it, but punishing myself would also punish my amazing girlfriend. I just wish there was a big 'no regrets' button I could push!!

Speaking of which, how have the successful 2014 challengers managed to cope with their regrets?

Thanks for checking me in bornagain. It's a simple thing but it's put a smile on my face. Pleasure to be here.

Hi guys checking in for the week (2 down another 50 to go this year)

I'm struggling ATM with a lot of personal issues so keeping my guard up to prevent myself from slipping. Don't know if anyone can relate to this but for me in the past going to the bookies every day was enjoyable. It got me out of the house and I had interaction with other people for few hours. The past few years I've been suffering from very bad depression (started off when was 17 and was given bad news about an immediate relative and I didn't know how to process this) and over the years it came and went when was stressed at college etc and the bookies was kind of my release. The past 2 years have been really tough, I'm unemployed and live in rural Ireland. Majority of my friends have emigrated so I'm kind of on my own here, spend majority of my days home alone where I used to go to bookies

Dont get me wrong stopping gambling best thing I did last year but I find myself missing it not for the money side of it but the human interaction etc. Sorry if it seems I'm rambling on just thought mention it to see if I was the only person with this experience as I hadn't really thought about it till last few weeks where I realised I'm kind of alone in life ATM. Ps don't anyone worry I getting help with the depression as well

pauric

Day 2 checking in