Strauss.....sorry to hear you slipped up. I see you have been a member for a good 5 years plus so you know the drill.
Today is day 1 make it the final day 1 my friend.
Mba
Hi all,
I've nearly managed to get through the weekend gamble free. That means one whole week of no gambling!!
I've missed gambling because I really enjoy it but it's been the most expensive hobby I've ever taken up and realise that because I can't stop I can never win!! I also remind myself how most of the time it's the most awful hobby you could ever have as the knock on effects it can have on other aspects of your life can be devastating!
I've therefore come to the conclusion that I need to stop referring to gambling as a 'hobby'... For an addict it's not a 'hobby'... It's something that becomes a way of life which clouds your thinking and creates great anguish that can take years to overcome!!
Keep strong everyone,
Honk
strauss wrote:
Lost in action - £2k done in hours last night (sport). Was £400 up!
Good luck all - if you are feeling tempted don't bother. At least let there be some value to you all in my actions. I know I'm "good" at what I do and I am no mug, however, it only goes one way. Must say was out of mind yesterday - working hard at the moment and have screwed up big time. Finding the torture of this a lot harder to get over. Good in a way as years ago would just wake up brush myself down and continue. Now it erodes sleep/diet/motivation and all. Still not dressed!!!!
Well done for organising this Phil. Probably needed a run up to it as the concept is spot on.
Good luck all.
As for me personal committment to abstain until 19 Feb (Dad's 90th).
Measures in place - which will work.
Are these the same measures that were in place previously Strauss?
Sorry you've having to go through this
Hi All,
Checking in on Day 13 - almost 2 weeks in...!
Mel x
Strauss... Sorry to hear about your relapse.
I did exactly the same last weekend. £2000 gone! Mainly down to Phil Taylor losing in the darts and then chasing my losses after a few beers playing in an online casino... I had not even played on them for years!! Anyway, in a way the big loss has helped me put things in perspective and stay strong this week. It's made me realise how vulnerable we can be if we drop our guard and chase losses. If we don't bet in the first place then there is no danger of chasing losses.
Try not to get too down and use it to spur you on. It's not easy but I like a challenge and now feel ready to take on the biggest challenge of my life. I hope you will do the same when you put this all into context.
Honk
Havent posted on this before but i am 9 days off it again and hoping to keep going. Checking in here would be another thing to dissuade me from having a punt, will call back next week.
regards
Pabby
Cheers for the comments guys.
Will continue to follow this thread with interest.
Personally I think it is quite a powerful tool for those committing themselves to it.
@Strauss @Honk
Bad news about losses. Let them go, wave them 'bye bye' and be cheery knowing they will be the last losses you ever make as you no longer participate in an expensive self destructive waste of time - as you, we all know it to be for those like us who get possessed by irrational thought, out of character to our other day to day responsibilities.
You know what to do and you must do it so you never put yourself into the position again, it's no stress, no hardship, bit of a pain in the neck that we have to take such measures but...... It's far less painful than what we do to ourselves if we don't!
It can always be worse and it can always be better! Make the future better mate, write off the past, scrap it like an mot failure and get a newer model you.... One without dragging the heavy chains of gambling or carrying the burden of misery that gambling gives us. Getting up, shaking off and carrying on like its ok, we can take the hit, is folly. Commit, plan, commit to the plan, execute, focus on goals inside the plan and go forward to a brighter better you in a brighter better future.
All the best fellas, gals, early days for me too but, I have ripped reverse gear out and I am not going back to that messy, and as I read here earlier 'head wrecking' train crash which is gamblng and I.
Bye bye gamblng, you are dead to me and you can keep all that you've taken from me with my blessing, life is too precious and you [gambling] just deflate my sails and I want much more than you can ever give me.... It's mine for the taking.... My quick to laugh and positive life back.
Never stop fighting soldiers and maintain your deployed defences and I wish each of you the very best with the battle and hope to see all of us succeed!
early days..... But everyday I don't feels better.
Hi all,
It's with regret that I have to confess to a lapse yesterday.
I'm feeling very disappointed in myself, I don't know what possessed me, I think it was the thought of making up some of the losses I incurred a couple of weeks ago that led me to sign up to this challenge. Thinking rationally I know that even if I had clawed back some of those losses I would then be even more susceptable to another relapse to seek out that high again.
I'm also giving up smoking which doesn't help with the rational thought process, but am more determined that ever now to see this through as I've been feeling really depressed since & want that hope back.
I feel I need to gain the support of my wife/family but am so scared about what they would say if I was totally honest about how much debt I've accumulated having broken my promise I made to them a couple of years ago that I would never gamble again. I know that would be the first question, how much? and cannot risk losing my marriage and kids.
I know many of you have also spoke of the GA meetings that can also help, but that would again mean fessing up to my wife to explain where I was going one evening a week. In addition even if I did the evening that they meet locally is on a Tuesday which would be impossible for me as my wife works that evening and I have to look after the kids.
Has anyone else managed to stay gamble free without any support from friends / family / GA meetings? If so would love to hear from you and would welcome any advice you may have to help.
Sorry, I feel I've let you all down,
Steve x
evening stevie,
the only support i had was 2 counselling meetings which i found useful but only to reinforce what i already knew, this site is the main tool i have used since stopping and here i have made friends althoigh i must admit the best advice would be to tell the ones you love as for me this lifted all the guilt and deception that comes in hand with gambling. good luck in whatever chice you make and never give up trying as tomorrow will be a better day
Del 🙂
Checking in day 13. Hubby back to work tomorrow night, boredom normally sets in an the slots start rolling and the debt keeps piling up. But not now. At 9pm tomorrow I will be knitting cushion covers - diet also starts tomorrow so that will give me something to do with my hands!
Good luck all for the week x
Sorry to hear Steve.
I am doing it right now and feel like I'm doing it without friends as tbh they all gamble and most appear in relative control so I just don't talk about it and try and steer clear if they do. Don't really think family or the wife understands and may get councilling somewhen but always a bloomin wait with that (have had previously and is really helpful). But tbh I'm doing it with the support of just this forum thread and refreshing and reading all the posts. It is so hard but just like smoking (also something Iv given up) you just have to realise we are not born to do these things, the negatives of gambling is huge. Let's get real, we never ever win because we can't control it, ever! Ok it may be we have a good week or month but it's the one bad day where it starts bad, start chasing and betting totally irrational and like a compulsive maniac just to get the money back and because it's a huge high at the time. For me the waste of life is just the biggest thing. I tried to control it with deposit limits but it doesn't work, in fact it made it worse! If you wanna start again we can support each other on here for the rest of the year 🙂
Challenge Update Week Two
Introduction
It’s been a fantastic week I really am overwhelmed by the positivity and support on here. We start week three with 64 active troops! 64 people who not only want to help make their lives better, but who also come together as a group to help each other along. Making that choice not to gamble will make our lives so much better, there will also be downs as well as the ups and it’s good to see that when the downs come there will be people on here to help pick us up. I will also add that I’ve so far had two emails with phone numbers for any soldiers in need. If at any time you need to talk to a fellow soldier send me an email to the group email address and I will forward a number for you to call. Also if anyone else is happy to be on the telephone list please email your number and general times you can take calls. Also triangle came up with the good idea of utilising the Gamcare chatrooms for a midweek 2015 Challenge catch up. So triangle is now the official 2015 Challenge chatroom sergeant and I would like you to push it on here mate, put reminders on and maybe the link from time to time so anyone who fancies a chat can use it. 2015 Challenge chat is on a Wednesday night from 8pm till 9pm.
My 2014 story?
You may remember last week that I put down two 2014 success stories that showed what can be achieved by completing the challenge and going a year without a bet. Well sadly I was one of the soldiers who failed and slipped up and I think it would be useful to write a little about this. I started 2014 in my early days of recovery and for me it was a novelty to give up gambling. I had never felt so strong, I could walk past bookies, I was able to enjoy spending money, I felt like a miracle had happened as the urges went away. My main techniques for stopping were to give financial control to my mum, stop looking at odds and racing websites and to self exclude from local bookies. I was enjoying the daily count, enjoying posting on my recovery diary and what excited me most was reaching the end of 2014 as a member of the challenge and doing so without having a bet. I got through the hard times of Cheltenham and the National with ease and when I achieved 100 days free from a bet I felt on top of the world.
However I very quickly started to lose interest in this site and in my fight after day 100. I started to look at odds, watch racing on tv, think about ‘systems’ to make easy money etc….. Some part of me continued to fight on and I managed to last longer and longer without a bet, until the day when I walked into a bookies and destroyed all my hard work. Why did I do it? Why did the urges keep sucking me back and getting stronger and stronger? Looking back I think it was because my life was still full of deceit, I had not been fully honest with my parents and there were hidden debts. It was also getting me down that I was paying at least 1000 a month on debt repayments and in a way I felt like I was still gambling because I was still always skint.
Looking back I can see what’s different now and why I believe I can complete this years challenge. I’ve been honest to my parents, I’ve told my mum to be stricter with my finances and I have no hidden debts and much smaller repayments this year.
So my advice for anyone in the early stages of recovery, especially new soldiers who didn’t do last years challenge is this; be honest with yourself and others, once everything is out in the open you really will feel better. Don’t let this be some sort of novelty gym membership. Stay strong and see out the challenge. Don’t get bored like I did and don’t let debt repayments get you down. Over time life will get better, there’s no get rich quick system, gambling only ever ends up the same for all of us. There’s no quick fix, but day by day things will get better.
Milestones in the coming and past week
happy days will reach 400 days on Friday, an absolutely amazing achievement, well done Mike.
SuzyLemon celebrated 30 weeks last week, keep it up girl!
mrbrightside hits 400 days on Monday, congratulations Tony, great stuff!
Ringerbell and triangle both hit 300 days last week, excellent stuff, the year gets closer.
Elfie17 passed the double century last week, well done!
mba passes through 3 months next Sunday, good solid start, century is next!
egfr hits ten weeks on Wednesday, well done mate!
Glads Dad and elchipper both join the 50 club this week, on Monday and Wednesday, congratulations! paulll hit his half century last week, well done!
delboygolf hits 300 days on Wednesday, the year is so close now, well done Steve!
Garyl1976 smashed through 40 weeks last week, well done Gary!
Roll of Honour/ Days Gamble Free!
Now for the numbers, we started the week with 69 troops but sadly 5 have failed to check in. Nick10011, Penny To Start, mrboobie1979, S.A and pabs85 I hope you are all reading this and check back in this week, you are welcome back here no matter what. So we have 64 active troops and so far in 2015 at an average gambling loss of 50 pounds a day we have collectively saved a huge £32,550!!!!!! Well done troops we are smashing it.
Summing Up
Its been a tough week for me this week, I have broke two laptops and am currently on a new laptop trying to sort all my data out. So if I have got any counts wrong please let me know. I’m also really tired and hung over so I don’t think this is my best update, but I will be fresh and ready next weekend. I have just noticed a couple of slip ups have occurred this weekend. Its brilliant to see the support that we are giving our fallen troops. For anyone who slips up make sure you get back posting on here, you are all welcome and by coming back you are showing how strong you are and determined to get back on track. Take my advice about my mistakes last year, don’t slip up, keep your defences strong and make 2015 your year. You saw in last weeks update how staying clean for a year changed Mikes and Tony’s lives, we can all have the same story this year. Lets not make this a gym membership that we get bored of. Stay strong, we can all beat this.
Phil
Hi to all of us,
Checking in here for the 24th day GF. Small numbers looking at some others but feeljng very strong and positive. Just wonder how Christmas 2015 will look after a year without gambling? ..!?! I know it only 11th of Jan, but time will go fast... good luck to all.
ICanDoThis2015 and strauss I am so sorry to hear about your slips. The most important thing is that you are still on here, others may have given up. Dust yourself down and try to think what it was that made you slip and try to put barriers in place to prevent it happening again. Steve you have not let any of us down, these things happen, I do think getting things out in the open will make you feel better. I feel personally the more lies in my life the more likely I would be to gamble. Strauss don't beat yourself up, try to learn from what you did and use this place to stop it happening again. I would recommend the two of you take a read of Duncanmacs recovery diary, theres some brilliant stuff in there, he really has got a way with words and has helped loads on here.
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