A trip to the casino

Dear Nipped

Thank you for sharing your story of how your football bet led to a trip to the casino. It is very useful for other members to see how that can happen. However, we did edit out a bit of the detail, as some people can find that kind of thing triggering. We also moved the post from ‘New member intros’ to ‘Overcoming Problem Gambling’ as you have been a member for a while now.

Also, we tried to email you rather than posting publicly on the forum but the email bounced. Can you please update your account with a valid, up to date email address? Otherwise I'm afraid we would have to close the account, and we'd rather not have to do that.

You can remind yourself of the forum terms and conditions here:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/chatroom/chatroom-and-forum-etiquette#.VGOJC19FC71

Best wishes

Deirdre
Forum Admin

For binge gamblers the trips to the casino could lead to full on relapse over time even if it is years later or those 3 times a year could be okay the first time and then they are just waiting for the next time and boom ... all their savings are gone. I respect if you can do this but I just want to warn anyone who in a binge gambler and reads this ( I have been a binge gambler and turned to relapses also) please don't take this account of being able to go 3 times a year as an idea that anyone will be able to do this. Just be in the moment and do the recovery work with no anticipation of ever going back. So yes, I need to tell myself this and I also wanted to put it out there. tara2

Its up to you nipped but I dont agree with you.

You are clearly an active gambler and there is too much detail there for me with things like "take advantage of the deal" and "offer I couldnt refuse".... "a hobby of mine"....."I do pretty well out of it" etc. "Stay sensible"...gosh why didnt we think of that

Much of it reads like a promotional leaflet for gambling and keeping it casual as you mention the highs. It also reads as if you never really had a problem so you cant have it both ways in my opinion. It reads like you casually ride the losses...no problem...bit pricey for a hot chocolate but no worries eh

I feel that you cant cherry pick nuggets of advice based on that post. You might be able to tell all that to a non gambler but it doesnt wash with me or other ex gamblers. So you are going to deter problem gamblers as an active gambler are you? The no harm done style of writing there is a bit of a wind up.

If gambling was a "funny old thing" that we could shrug off nobody would be on this forum. Being stupid or staying sensible is not what a gambling addiction is about. If history taught us the lesson with a bit of mild willpower people would have just stopped.

In essence its your life to do what you want. I dont know of any proper recovery that would advise you to step things down and its all going to be ok like that. I dont think you understand about the addiction.

If you dont have a problem its your life. You even hint at the real meaning in that if you had kept winning you wouldnt have bothered making a post. Thats just a diary of an active gambler on a recovery forum. I wouldnt post that on a recovery forum. I have to say that it almost looks as if you are trying to undermine this forum.

This is a recovery forum and I am surprised your post hasnt been moderated.

Hi Nipped

Glad to hear you managed to walk away before it got out of hand but given some of your previous posts that have spoken of £10k of debt and an IVA I am shocked you still want to play around the edges of gambling even if it is an occasional thing.

We all deal with our experiences of gambling differently but whilst I accept this is an open forum where you have every right to express your opinion, method of recovery and views, in the same way I have to say I would never advise anyone to try and carrying on gambling in a "controlled" manner once they have exhibited compulsive gambling behaviours.

Anyway well done on walking away and I wish you every success in your recovery.

Yes its an open forum and Im not trying to curtail free speech.

However I dont accept the wording or intentions of posts like that and its my right to firmly disagree in the strongest possible terms.

It would be like me writing a post that I had a cheeky flutter on the machines but Im all sensible now so dont worry folks. Its like saying dont worry foks because Ive stepped it down and this is the new sensible me....On a recovery forum! It makes a mockery of what people are going through and I know that abstention is essential for addicted gamblers

The implication being that we can be sensible in the click of the fingers and that active gamblers can advise recovering gamblers. The implication being that the illness and compulsion of addiction is just hogwash.

To suggest willpower and continued gambling is nonsense in my view

Im calm and I love being gamble free.

I do think there is a line to be drawn about how posts are written on this site. Feel free to disagree with me but I dont think Im over reacting. I think you are being far too kind there and to congratulate someone for talking about various gambling in detail, going gambling and talking about being sensible is a bit near the bone.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Eh???

I expressed my shock that someone who has obviously got a gambling problem demonstrated by previous gambling debts and an IVA was still gambling. I said i would not advise a CG to try and gamble in a controlled manner.

I did congratulate Nipped for walking away. Not sure where I congratulated anyone "for talking about various gambling in detail, going gambling and talking about being sensible".

I don't think we are disagreeing at all here - we both think Nipped is playing with fire by continuing to gamble and don't think it should be encouraged on a forum set up to help people to stop gambling.

Have a great evening.

Muststop123

I understand what you said and are saying muststop.

Deleted as Muststop has the best of intentions

Ok, Joydivider, you are 100% right.

I should not have commented. Getting involved when i have such little experience in this was wrong and I risked giving bad/inappropriate advise for which i apologise. Consider me suitably chastised.

Happy to delete all my posts on this subject if you think that is appropriate or leave them up as a record of what not to write to others.

Really do not want to get involved in any negativity or conflict on this forum - it means too much to me to lose a place where I feel so supported in my recovery. I will be a lot more selective in my posting in future.

Peace

I feel that everyones posts here on this thread were/are valid and with good intent. The original poster may not have understood the impact of their post at the time that they wrote it. Us gamblers will think as they did but posting it really made a record of how we can think as addicts as we are on the journey. I believe that muststop was being of a supportive intent for the poster and I totally get being serious about how post effect others as joydivider clearly states... as this is a forum for recovering compulsive gamblers . And I did write that I didn't need to read any ideas of how going to casino a few times a year could be okay. I just want to say that I think this thread is fine as is and I respect every part of it as there was no harm intended by anyone.. but it's good to hear the seriousness of the impact of words and to speak out. glad to be part of this. tara2

No you are OK Muststop123 and tara2. Sorry if you feel Ive been having a go. I know you both make great comments and its just that nipped post did disturb me. I will say when a post disturbs me. Maybe I have gone slightly over the top and ultimately its up to nipped what he does. I wouldnt post what he said on an "overcoming problem gambling" section of this forum though

You meant very well Muststop and you are right in your overall view. I think the nipped post wound me up more than I care to admit. I was probably just taking it out on you and its not your fault. Sorry I didnt really mean for it to come over like a telling off

Leave that up and obviously you are welcome to say what you want to say

I decided to get a bit tougher this year and its only the rare post that gets to me. I just thought by heck whats going on here when I read of a gambler talking about going to a casino less times as if it could ever be recommended to anyone in recovery

Wheres nipped for the debate 🙂

Best wishes to you all

Nipped off to place a bet or several no doubt 🙁

A rational person does not accidentally find themselves in a casino drawing money because they lost a bet...It’s called chasing losses!

This thread is nothing more than a compulsive gambler trying to justify their actions with no thought or consideration to how it makes others feel!

I agree it is good that no major financial damage was done on this occasion, the pain however was enough to prompt a twelfth thread from you Nipped...All previous threads abandoned, mostly no acknowledgement for the people trying to offer you support.

2 years ago I probably would have been raged up by this too but what do you know, seems recovery makes a calmer person of me...I just hope now that you come to your senses soon & that no-one has been adversely affected by what you have written.

Yes I recognise the name and know he has posted before.

I didnt expect to see that post in such detail and with so much positive reinforcement of an active gambler. It just reads like a my day out as a gambler as if no lessons have been learned or advice taken.

"funny little episodes" to deter himself and others?? That is pure delusion in my book.

I thought I was calm but I couldnt shrug that one off. I have become calmer but that is a proper wind up on a recovery forum in my view.

I dont mind having the debate with him like grown adults but hes gone again leaving a trail of concerned people in the wake. I wont rise to the bait again but the truth is I want to help. I just want to make him think, ask if he is baiting me and ask if he does have a real problem or not. I cant make him stop and he doesnt have to take my advice or deal with my concerns.

The way he posts and seems to disappear makes me wonder if he seeks any real communication, input or help

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Ok I will start by saying gambling is not a massive part of my life any longer hence why I am not on the forum daily I will pop in once or twice a month as I I find the addiction interesting and how people are dealing with it in different ways and I do offer advice where I feel I can along with stories from my own experiences

but largely I do have other things in my life to be getting on with hence why im not available to debate every day of the week

ODATT & Joy Divider I have read many of your posts across the forum as you are usually first on the scene to advise new posters ,Great that you have the constant free time to do this and im sure a lot of people starting the road to recovery find it very useful

However gambling is a very very large part of our society it is everywhere and I’m sure a lot of people struggle to simply block it all out leading to heavy relapses if they are not careful

Once bitten the bug is in you for good as I’m sure you two are more than aware what with you both being here for well over 7 years yourselves

Both of you have clearly taken the stance that you cannot live your lives alongside this gambling culture and therefore are of the opinion that black is black, white is white and everyone else needs to heed your warnings

However

I am a case in point of someone that does not wish to constantly be looking over their shoulder wondering what could potentially trigger that next relapse posting religiously on forums and counting days “free”…… I feel in this mindset the gambling is controlling your life and not you controlling the gambling

Im not an advocate of gambling I will be the first to admit It heavily impacted my late teens and early 20’s and It will be another few months before I finally clear debt associated with that period of my life

But it taught me many valuable life lessons perhaps the best one being able to be more humble and appreciate simple things more in life

The road to recovery isn’t black or white there is no magic number of days you can count too and you will be “cured” different people will choose to deal with it in different ways and both of you need to respect that and not aggressively attack my posts because you do not agree

I will end with saying My personal posts on the forum are not specifically designed to gain input from other posters they are often just to document my own developments ( unless I am advising someone else )