Hi All,
I'm 29 years old and have been gambling for almost a year.
What started off as a couple of hundred every month has now turned into my whole wage on pay day gone within 8 hours.
After reading stories on here i am worried that this is gonna spiral out of control.
I always make sure my bills are paid first and foremost. However this pay day I spent every penny i had left for the month.
I don't bet in the bookies because it sounds weird but when it's cash in my hand I don't wanna spend it in the bookies and basically throw it away. I actually started to take money out my bank as soon as I had been paid that way I knew I wouldn't gamble it and i didnt. I didn't even think of gambling and just carried on with my month living like a normal person. But this month and for the second time I stupidly didn't go to an atm and just cleared my bank account gambling online.
I thankfully don't have any loans or payday loans because of this problem. I haven't let myself get to that point. However I have leant money and put some on my credit card. I cut up my credit card so it wouldn't happen again and it hasn't. I brought a Samsung phone and sold my i phone so I could download gamban which would stop me accessing gambling sites. I have also self excluded from every site I have ever joined. Unfortunately with all these blocks in place I still always find away. Whether that's using my dad's phone or transferring money between bank accounts or finding a new site to join.
I made the decision to tell my partner about my problem. She was supportive and understanding however very upset and dissapointed. I was so ashamed and felt sick at the thought of telling her but I'm glad I did.
I know this can't continue else I'll lose her and a whole lot more. I just don't trust myself that I won't stop.
I don't gamble every day... last month I went 3 weeks without gambling but this was only because I emptied my account.
Although ive spent a good 12 grand on gambling in the last year that's been my hard earned cash and a few hundred on my credit card which I can pay off in no time. Thankfully i haven't accumulated a load of debt but I'm worried that could change if I continue.
Does anyone have any advice they could offer me? Can I be saved whilst this is still new and fresh? Would you say I'm an addict or someone with a problem?
If you dont stop...IT WILL GET WORSE. Take it from me...first hand experience. Im like you in that mostly the money I wasted on gambling was my own hard earned cash and thankfully didnt get into any 'serious' debt...YET. I have lost well over 100k since 2007 when all this started. The first 1000 was hell...and the chase begun...and years later I was still chasing..up to 15 days ago. I also thought it couldnt get worse...but like you I worry sometimes that maybe that monster will come back to bite me again, like it has done so many times in the past. I think blocks are the way to go as regards online gambling. I put gamban on my PC but it unfortunately didnt work on my phone so I started gambling on my phone. I have self excluded from many many sites now...but I am also aware that if I was really determined, there is always another site I can find. The temptation is always therre...and although I am fairly positive I wont gamble at the moment as Im concenrating on paying down latest credit card bill...I am not exactly 100% positive that I have kicked this evil addiction...and thats a worry. Its a worry because one night years ag0 when I lost 12k in a few hours...I was so sick at the realisation, I swore I would never do it again. But roll on to a future time again when I had more cash freely available...I end up doing almost the exact same thing. I think I will also try councelling as it cant hurt...eventhough Im not sure how much it will really help me either. I say this becuase I am aware of the addiction...I understand all the psychology around it...very well read on the subject...but that hasnt stopped me giving into the compulsion of those urges when they hit. I think the only thing that can actually stop me is having all the blocks in place and no access to online bank cards so that I cant actually gamble. My addiciotn is 100% online so if I can stop access I might have some hope. I wish you the best.
Hello Shantel17,
Yes, you really can turn things around 180. You have to WANT to stop gambling and not just want to stop losing. Like you said we can put blocks into place but if we really want to gamble we can find a way. This can and does get worse. It took me a long time to start losing rent/bill money but i worked my way there and that brought about family loans i made excuses for. You have to be tough and serious with this addiction. As for if you have a problem. That question is not measured by an amount of money. You are here looking, wasting more money than you want to and spending a lot of time actively gambling. That to me says you think it is a problem to you, so yes.
So the question really is, are you ready to stop? To do everything you can to stop and to work on recovery. Recovery is about more than just not gambling. We all have our "reason" or "why" we turn to gambling. Finding out what hole gambling fills in your life will show you want you need to work on/talk about. Counselling is a great way to work this out and talk about it with a professional that understands you and won't judge. Give the gamcare number a call to see if you can get yourself some free counselling sessions.
Other than this blocks are great, time-money-location. Remove one and you can't gamble. Its time to be honest with yourself first and if you can ideally someone close to you. Get them to look after finances and hand over cards. Like you said i still pay off my bills as much as i can on payday and also withdraw cash becuase i too was an online gambler.
Keep active on here. A lot of great people giving out some good advice. It's on you to use it, its not easy but its possible. One day at a time.
All the best.
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