Hi everyone,
So glad to have found this forum through the recovermeapp.
I have always tried to blame my gambling on others, I was brought up in a pub playing on fruit machines from the age of 6/7, with other peoples money, or playing cards with adults much older than me. I was always good with numbers and as I was one the only sober one at the table (had school the next day :)!
For a long time I didn’t gamble at all, until I started playing slots in the bookies and online slots around 3 years ago and have struggled to stop ever since.
Like so many, the deposits started off small but quickly escalated into a place where at times I truly felt like I have no control at all and spinning certainly isn’t fun anymore.
Many of my evenings are spent sitting on the sofa with my amazing wife but all I could do is shield my phone from her so I could gamble away and the more I lost the more of an a**e I became.
Although I have always tried to persuade myself that gambling doesn’t effect my personality, relationships or work I am glad I am now know that this is a complete and utter rubbish.
I recently put myself on Gamstop .I have never spoken openly to anyone about my gambling for fear of ridicule, embarrassment and losing those I love most when in reality it’s the gambling itself that causes this
I know it is going to be hard and will take it one day at a time. Writing this message has helped bring a sense of relief in the awareness of my situation.
sorry for the long opening message but great to get some of this out and always happy to speak with others to support eachother
Dear Chalky4,
Welcome to our forum, we are glad you found us! We hope you find it a supportive platform. Feel free to use our 24/7 helpline as well.
Best Wishes
Fiona
Forum Admin
Your story is very similar to mine. I’m 29 days gamble free now after a lifetime of slots. Started in pubs and continued online where money had no value. I came clean to my wife (didn’t end well), but my mind is now clear of the lies and deception. Talking in here is great. GA is benefiting me, I’m also getting 1 to 1 counselling which, although only 1 session in, is helping too.
You can do this, and coming here is the first step. The rest is up to you now. Use the help you can get here, join the chat rooms. You’ll be amazed at how many people are in the same situation.
It’s a tough road ahead but it can be done.
Stay strong 💪
I was the same started going to bingo as a kid with my mum couldn’t play as I was underaged but as soon as turned 18 I went to bingo and won 500 quid for the price of a tenner then it wasn’t really a problem but a friend of mine was fools online slots and she said she just won a grand and I though I’ll have a go at that and that’s how it started getting out of control in the beginning I was winning a lot so free money didn’t matter if I lost it but I used it as an escape while I was gambling I wasn’t focused on the sxxt show that was my life and it escalated in lockdown on furlough bored and stuck at home won 4 grand in the first week of lockdown it was great then lockdown game and went and I was back to work but the first thing I didn’t when I came home was gamble I’d walk to work and be gambling all the way to work and in my lunch break and it went in and in til the last few weeks it was giving me anxiety I’d made a deal with myself that I wouldn’t gamble on Monday every week I’ll start tomorrow I didn’t want to gamble but was compelled to so Monday this week after losing my last 50 pound I contacted GameStop the Relief I feel is great and I’m although I’m full of regret I need to look forward not backwards because that’s where I’m heading
Great work on the gamble free period, keep it up!
I am very nervous of the thought of attending GA but I think that is more from embarrassment which I need to get over
So glad to have found this space, which was completely by luck (ironically).
5 days in, Gamban has definitely helped with this. I was also gambling a lot on crypto casinos so have deleted access to crypto wallets.
agreed on the regret piece. Right now I feel I will never completely get over that feeling but can only work towards a place where I think about how much better I am feeling and behaving as a person when not gambling.
nice work on Gamstop, personally I found this too easy to get around and Gamban has been better so me so definitely take a look at that, you can get a free licence from this forum.
I also use an app called recoverme that have sound mindfulness sessions which are helpful when I get the urge, maybe could use this to listen to on the walk to work instead
keep up the good work
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