Afternoon all
Little about me-So i was last on hear 28/02/2015 almost a year to the day and now i am back again. I cannot believe it has been a year since i was on here but it is Clear that not a lot has changed. I am 28 years old now and this must stop otherwise when is the next time i will be posting-when i am 30...maybe......35...or even...40
This morning i have been on the phone arranging a £2,000 loan to get me through to the next payslip. I must be mad!
My vice seems to be online blackjack. I have lost thousands of pounds over the last 10 years but the losses seem to get be geeting dangerous(in the thousands now as opposed to when i innocently started as an 18 year old getting frustrated and losing a ten pound note).The strange thing is there is no way i would never hand this money over in person or to a bookie but it when it is electronic it is just numbers on a screen and of no real value at that time.I have closed all online accounts today which is something i have considered doing for a while so guess this is a step in the right direction.
Not really posting on here for a response of any kind but i feel writing this down enforces me to understand that this is an issue. I consider myself reasonably intelligent and get paid pretty well but how can i be so stupid.I have had more than a few personal issues over the years and carry a lot of pain around on my shoulders. I am starting to think that this could be the reason behind it all
Anyway, this is time to make a statement- I will NEVER play Blackjack online ever again-i will lose no more money in this fashion and ready to Smash my first Target of 30 days with no gambling!
Batman
I'm in the same boat after nearly a year. Wishing you all the best, you can do this!
Might be time to get a bit of help then? Either from Gamcare and counselling or from an outside agency like Gamblers Anonymous?
so can you 'need support 'is this your first day on the mend also?
'Triangle' thanks for the thought, i am going to try and make a success of this attempt alone.However i do think if i break what i have said above i will defintely be seeking some additional help as you mentioned
Yes it is, after a year doing so well, I'm back to day 1. Feeling better than I did this morning and more positive. Think it's good to reflect and see what the triggers were. Thank you, hope this is it for both of us
I'm back here after a year of trying to keep stakes small.
I enjoy betting on the horses and what started of as a weekly accumulator turned into madness yesterday. Had my cash card with me and started chasing a relatively small loss. One win would have given me a profit due to the amount I was putting on .
They all lost and I went home 1200 out of pocket. Excluded from online accounts and unsubscibed to tipping lines. Deleted racing apps from phone. Arranged a loan for 1200 and handing over cash card to wife.
In the back of my mind I am not suprised this has happened and it was just a matter of time before it all went wrong. If I can give up now and get my life back then 1200 is not the end of the world.
If I carry on gambling to win it back I would possibly win for a while but would always end up back here at some point as I can't stop. Maybe then the loss would be 2,3 or 4000.
I've had counselling from Breakeven a couple of years ago which helped but feel that this time I can stop by myself. Just have to restrict the amount I go out with. No cards. Can't go to the local pub as racing on and friends in there like a bet. Have to change my routines so I'm not thinking about it. First month will be the hardest.
Good luck to you and all who are struggling to get their lives back on track.
Gav
Hi Gav,
I've been there too with the small bets situation but then i feel that can only last for so long, it is just masking the underlying issue.What happens when all those little losses add up, do the bets the increase?
I wish i could bottle the way i was feeling yesterday and i would be sure to never risk it all again. This may sound strange but i even made a small recording of myself saying the way i feel and aim to listen to this if i ever get tempted. I thinkHearing yourself back can be very powerful especially when temptation is there.
Anyway just a thought-1st day is down for me and looking forward to seeing day 2 tomorrow sticking by this for the long run this time!
Take a minute and think, has gambling done anything to make your life better?
Gav,
You've done all the right things. I think it's best not to gamble at all, not even small bets as the temptation will always be there. And there will always be a day when you won't be able to stop. We are CGs, and facing up to that is the first step in recovery.
I gamble on my phone and have placed a blocker on it after self excluding from the sites. Even though I have told my partner about the past, I don't think he will be understanding. With that in mind I don't have the urge to gamble when he's with me.
About 4 years ago my addiction was so bad I tried to take my own life, I saw no way out, and I remind myself about daily. My debts were thousands and I'm only 2 thirds of the way through of paying them off. My credit score was so low I couldn't borrow anymore money and I had to open a basic bank account to start again.
That's why I'm so annoyed with myself with what I did a couple of days ago. I just couldn't stop myself. So now I'm reminding myself about the past and where I am now. I don't ever want to go there again. And I have children, how selfish am I??
Here's to day 2 and never again
Need Support and Gav1975 we are all on 2 day tso lets continue on this journey!
Need Support, be strong this has happened now so try not to dwell on it for to long and beat yourself up.
I read a quote that was in a shop window the other day that said 'Make a mistake once and it becomes a lesson. Make the same mistake twice and it becomes a CHOICE'.
How true this is.Let's CHOOSE to turn our back on this addiction and give it no more of our time, money or energy.
We are all good people who have just strayed a little from the train tracks for one reason or another
Definitely, what a great quote. We control our choices and I choose to be free of this addition. It's time to draw a line and never look back.
Everyone make it past day 2?
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