I have finally come clean to my wife about my gambling problem. There are no secrets anymore and i genuinely don't have any interest in gambling anymore. I am done with it (that's how I currently feel). It has happened in the past when I told her but started gambling again. This time feels different for me. Understandably my wife will have trust issues, which I accept, but she doesn't seem to think that I am taking the whole situation seriously enough. I do understand the seriousness of my actions but i am focussed on looking forward and don't want to get caught up in the past. When I say this to my wife she gets annoyed with me a says "the more I think about it, I don't think you are taking this serious enough". Any advice on how I go forward. Should I talk about the past or concentrate on looking forward and taking things 1 day at a time? Thanks.
Thanks for the comments. I appreciate them. I am happy to go with whatever she wants to show her I mean business this time. I'm actually excited at the prospect of never gambling again (don't know if that sounds weird or not). Just glad everything is off my chest I suppose.
My husband is a CG.
Firstly, it's good that you told her and presumably you told her everything.
Actions speak louder than words. It's what you do and keep doing to show her that you're serious that counts. Effective barriers, all loopholes closed, total financial transparency, regular attendance at GA and counselling, being prepared to have it out in the open.
re trust issues. A CG can't be trusted, at least in financial terms. The trust is gone and it won't be coming back. It's a fact of life that had to be accepted and worked round. She would be most unwise to believe what you tell her without checking eg by obtaining bank statements or credit reports.
re timing and moving forward, this is a long term problem that will take a long time to address. The lies and deceit that go with the territory cause long term damage that will take a lot of work from both of you to overcome. It's huge and my experience is that it's no good expecting too much too soon. You should focus on your recovery and allow her to focus on hers, whatever form that may take.
Wish you well.
CW
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