I just f****d up again. Feel like s**t after losing 4k. Self excluded.
Hell - how am I going to face life now?
Keep f****g up time and again. Lost over 101k in over 4.5 years.
This is insane. This is catastrophic. This is just an absolute f*****g nightmare.
I am so shattered, upset, disappointed, angry. I hate myself.
Oh my God. How will I be able bear this. Feel like an absolute moron and well stuffings knocked out.
I am so so angry with me now.
Shattered79...you have to STOP...its as simple as that. If you continue that money you have already lost will double. I also have lost in excess of 100k in about 12 years of binge gambling session. The most in one night I think was 12k...insane..from chasing the losses. Its a never ending cycle of destruction. Stopping completely is the only answer. You have to accept that that money is gone and you are not getting it back through gambling. I know how you feel...I know the absolute devestation, despair and self loathing that you are going through because I have been there myself. I am only 6 weeks gamble free...but I can tell you the minute you make that commitment to stop things get better. You will be surprised at how quickly that despair lifts. Unfortunately it is the forgotton pain that led me to go back on binges time and time again. Once the initial pain and shock is over...we tend to forget it very quickly and go back to gambling. I find that coming on here is a fantastic help for me...reading others stories and constantly reinforcing the idea that gambling is such a destructive addiction and that we will never ever win. It actually hurts me alot to see so many people affected by this illness...and the people who come on here are the ones who have admitted to themselves that they have a problem and need help. I cant even begin to imagine the scale of the problem nationally...what we are seeing on this forum is a tiny amonut of people in comarison to the real huge gambling issue throughout the country. Lives are being ruined by this....not just financially. There is help out there. I assume you are gambling online?...Self exclude...put blocks on your phone, PC etc. I paid £11 for gamban for my pc for the year...an invaluable tool. You can now self exclude from all uk licenced gambling sites by registered at gamstop.co.uk. There are lots of resources out there to help...but you need to take action and start this process today. One step at a time, but get those blocks in place as a matter or urgency. Gambling addicition is an illness...it is not a lack of self control or an example of greed...it is an illness so please dont be angry with yourself...if a family memeber had an illness you would not be angry with them for being ill. It is not your fault that you have this illness but it is up to you to manage the illness. And that means stopping before it hurts you anymore.
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