Hi Everyone,
Im 84 days GF after over forty years of compulsive gambling and done things like self exclusion and having counselling ( had 3 sessions so far ) although feel like im making progress when im home alone i sometimes start thinking about my addiction so deeply before i realise it sometimes 2 hours have gone by without me realising. Im trying hard to occupy myself to fill the void left by gambling such as gymn dog walks taking grandchildren to school etc. Does anyone else ever get into this trance like situation. I dont think about the desire to gamble again its more about looking back at the dark days lies guilt etc etc.
Hello alwalm,
Welcome to the Forum. Well done on your progress so far. You are doing amazingly well. It is very natural that you feel a void now that you stopped gambling. It used to occupy a lot of your time and thinking so, you need to find a replacement and develop new habits. This takes time and you need to bear with it. What could help you perhaps with this process is to use your counselling sessions to reflect on yourself and interests.
I hope you get some more ideas from other members here soon.
Keep up the good work!
Best wishes,
Forum Admin
Hi there, Can I recommend a good book to read. It's called 'The power of now'. It teaches you to stay in the moment because looking back causes depression and looking forward causes anxiety. Pick it up at the library.
canterbury100 wrote:
Hi there, Can I recommend a good book to read. It's called 'The power of now'. It teaches you to stay in the moment because looking back causes depression and looking forward causes anxiety. Pick it up at the library.
Thank you Canterbury for the suggestion.
Hi al,
Just checking in. How you doing?
Sarah
Hi Sarah
Still GF thank god just been so much happening family wise. Had 5th counselling session on Tuesday. Finding it difficult getting out and meeting people given that i spent so many years on my own with laptop and credit/debit card. I think ive lost the art or skill of interacting with others since i left the solitary life of compulsive gambling. Shes given me a to do list everyday like food prep dog walks library to help distract me from the withdrawal symptoms. Dont know if its the same for everyone but im finding filling the void CG left harder than the resisting gambling.
Great to see you doing so well and making progress with your finances and family relationships. Looking forward to speaking to everyone soon on chatline.
Best Wishes
AL
Great to see that you are still clean Al
I'm out watching a band on saturday night but will quietly raise a glass to you hitting your hundreth day over the weekend.
Filling the time is hard for me too.
What about exercise ? Get a bike, bowls, golf, running, table tennis, walking, yoga tai-chi, walking football, angling - never too late too start exercising or take up (or revist) a new sport.
Does you the world of good & clears the mind.
What about a part time job or volunteering. You are a long time retired (hopefully !).
People volunteer as much for the social element.
Citizens Advice Bureau, National Trust, Charity shops, volunteer driver for disabled, Libraries, reading to kids in schools, museums, path repairing in national parks,
Some might require a DBS check, but plenty won't
You will have a load of skills from your work & life experience to offer.
What did you enjoy doing when you where young before gambling took hold ?
Hi Ken
Good to hear from you again and i reckon you must be 81 days GF so youre doing rather well yourself. Well done mate and thanks for your kind words.
I have been going to gymn for exercise twice a week and have a little jack russell which i walk. My counsellor suggested voluntary work and i thought i might be able to help out in a food bank or something similar.When i finished working at 61 i became so obsessed with gambling i pushed friends and family away and became so reclusive and solitary you wouldnt believe it. This is what im struggling with right now just the not knowing how to go out and meet new people and try new things.
My counsellor tells me that in the end if i dont overcome this it will almost certainly lead to mental health issues in the future. I guess ill just have to get out there and learn Ken. Theres no doubt gambling damages you in many ways than we realise.I actually believe this has now become harder than resisting gambling.
This morning my wife left for work and within 5 minutes was back home telling me shed abandoned the car with a flat tyre 100 yards up the street so i had to sprint round my mother in laws to borrow her car to get my wife to work. Then i had to go out and get a replacement tyre. Didnt even want to face a simple task talking to garage staff but felt better once id did it.
Still im 98 days gf and thankful for that so it aint all bad. I just wondered if others felt dealing with the aftermath of being a CG was sometimes difficult. Grateful for Gamcare and the tremendous support ive had just wish there was a CONFIDENCECARE lol but i think im gonna just have to deal with these things on my own.
Its wonderful to hear from you and youre doing great my friend. Feel better already for reading your post.
Take Care
Stay Strong
AL
I just wondered if others felt dealing with the aftermath of being a CG was sometimes difficult.
I'm sure everyone does.
How much time did you spend gambling, watching racing & thinking about gambling ?
20 hours a week ? More ?
That's a lot of time to fill.
A food bank would be a great idea. I always think times can't be as tough as the easly 1980's (and if your from a mining area, even more so), but some people are in dire need.
It takes a lot of courage to walk into a local bookies and self exclude, any step to volunteering will be far easier than that.
Sometimes you just need to force yourself to do things outside your comfort zone - but I guess you know that
I know it makes sense what youre saying Ken and gonna have to try harder.
Kind Regards
AL
Hi Al,
Lando92 mentioned on another thread that he was something written out that he reads to himself everyday, just to remind him of life without gambling.
Don't know if you have ever seen this before but it's not a bad poem to read or consider each day.
Gamblers or Alcoholics Anonymous will be familiar with it....
Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something
for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that: "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take each day as it comes and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count; I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise; I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt - they may be hurt but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests - hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. During this half-hour, sometime, I will try and get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that, as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Just for today I will not gamble.
A great philosophy Ken. Think i might learn and try to follow it.Thanks for sharing.
Stay Strong
AL
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